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"Hey, Remus? Do you have the answer to the fourth question?" you asked.

"The potion went bad because she left it rest for two days, she should have left it for two days and a half."

"Thanks Rémy. You're an angel."

"Hey, uhh, Remus, do you know number three?"

"Shove off, James."

"Rude. Why'd you help (y/n) then?"

"Because she sucks at potions to the point where she's hopeless-"

"Oi."

"-whereas you just don't bother trying."

"I did try! I tried asking you! Consulting a reliable source counts as trying, it's called 'research'. Besides- oh, hey Sirius, Peter. What took you so long?"

The two, who had just walked into the common room, dropped down next to you on the sofa, not bothering to answer James' question. Peter had the closest thing he had to a shit-eating grin on his face, whereas Sirius' face was set in, well-

"What has you looking all constipated?" you asked. Peter's grin became wider.

"I'm confused" Sirius admitted.

James nodded in understanding. "Potions homework's got you stumped too, then?"

Sirius shook his head. "I was walking with Peter and Marlene, and she went to her common room so I kissed her, and this girl in the hallway- a Ravenclaw, I think? Third year? Well, she said hi, with this look on her face."

"Oh no, a whole look?"

"Shut up, Remus. Not just a look, but, y'know, a look, like somthing was up. So I said hi back, like a normal person, and suddenly she starts giggling? Out of nowhere?"

At this point, Peter started downright cackling, and James' eyebrows shot up.

"Ohoho, sounds to me like someone has an admirer then?" James smirked.

"What? I don't even know her."

"It's called a crush, Padfoot. That's the entire point."

"I still think it's ridiculous. Besides, I'm with Marlene. Why would anyone fancy me?"

"I'd say it's the hair" you commented without looking up from your homework. "It's that shaggy kind of Beatles hair. Very fashionable, girls tend to love it these days."

"I'm sorry- what do bugs have to do with my hair?"

At this you looked up. "Not just beatles, genius, THE Beatles."

He blinked.

"Oh you have got to be boody kidding me - the Beatles? Boysband? I mean, they quit a couple of years ago, but seriously?"

He and James shrugged, making your mouth fall open. You shared a look with Remus, who - thank goodness - looked as shocked as you felt.

"Damn. I know the muggle and magic society are isolated, but this is ridiculous. They're world-famous!"

Sirius laughed. "Well, I suppose I really don't know anything about muggles, do I?"

James sniggered. "Sounds like you don't know anything about girls either."

"Shut up, James! Besides, I happen to have a girlfriend! Remind me, how are things with Lily?" At this, James quickly stopped laughing, making you cough away a snort in your hand.

After a moment of silence, however, Sirius turned to you. "Say, (y/n), you're a girl-"

"Well however did you figure that out?"

"- and I've never heard you giggle. What's up with that? What's it all about?"

"Yeah, (y/n)!" Peter chimed in. "Tell us about the giggling!"

From the corner of your eye you saw Remus looking at you with what looked like a disproportionate amount of amusement on his face. You rolled your eyes.

"All right. You want to know the truth about the giggling? Well, here it is: it's fake." Three of the four boys around you looked bewildered, clearly not having expected that statement.

"It's true" you continued. "Nobody real, or in their right mind, 'giggles'. It doesn't exist. People laugh, snort, snicker or whatever. But people who 'giggle' should not be trusted, because they are, in fact, not in their right mind. They might be panicking, which results in the 'panicked giggle'. They light be hiding something, which results in the 'creepy fake giggle'. Or they might have a crush in the giggle you most likely heard: the 'I'm a teenager who wants to snog' giggle. All these giggles have one thing in common, though: people who display either of them have a temporary reduction in IQ of at least 10 points."

The boys blinked. Then blinked again.

"You know," Remus began after a moment of befuddled silence, "if you'd show this much analytical capability in your homework you'd never have to ask for my help again."

You shrugged. "I call it 'selective illumination'."

Sirius frowned. "While that was - uhm - a lot, it still doesn't explain why. I mean, my hair. Really? You can't fancy someone just for their hair. Besides, I have a girlfriend."

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but to a silly teenager that only means you're on the market" you explained. "Doesn't matter if you're currently dating someone, all they see is that you're interested in dating in the first place."

Sirius didn't look convinced.

"And, of course," you continued, "there's this little detail, that - uhm, how do I say it..."

"He's filthy loaded" Remus deadpanned.

"You're filthy loaded" you nodded. Shrugging, you continued. "Does it even matter, though? People don't really need a reason for a crush, especially teenagers. Most likely she just wants to have some fun, and looked around for the fist non-disgusting person to have a crush on."

Sirius turned pensive. "Huh..."

"Now, however amusing your new fangurl may be, onto more pressing matters. Remus, d'you have question six?"

"Merlin's beard, (y/n)! Lacewing flies!"

Description

"Hey, Remus? Do you have the answer to the fourth question?" you asked.

"The potion went bad because she left it rest for two days, she should have left it for two days and a half."

"Thanks Rémy. You're an angel."

"Hey, uhh, Remus, do you know number three?"

"Shove off, James."

"Rude. Why'd you help (y/n) then?"

"Because she sucks at potions to the point where she's hopeless-"

"Oi."

"-whereas you just don't bother trying."

"I did try! I tried asking you! Consulting a reliable source counts as trying, it's called 'research'. Besides- oh, hey Sirius, Peter. What took you so long?"

The two, who had just walked into the common room, dropped down next to you on the sofa, not bothering to answer James' question. Peter had the closest thing he had to a shit-eating grin on his face, whereas Sirius' face was set in, well-

"What has you looking all constipated?" you asked. Peter's grin became wider.

"I'm confused" Sirius admitted.

James nodded in understanding. "Potions homework's got you stumped too, then?"

Sirius shook his head. "I was walking with Peter and Marlene, and she went to her common room so I kissed her, and this girl in the hallway- a Ravenclaw, I think? Third year? Well, she said hi, with this look on her face."

"Oh no, a whole look?"

"Shut up, Remus. Not just a look, but, y'know, a look, like somthing was up. So I said hi back, like a normal person, and suddenly she starts giggling? Out of nowhere?"

At this point, Peter started downright cackling, and James' eyebrows shot up.

"Ohoho, sounds to me like someone has an admirer then?" James smirked.

"What? I don't even know her."

"It's called a crush, Padfoot. That's the entire point."

"I still think it's ridiculous. Besides, I'm with Marlene. Why would anyone fancy me?"

"I'd say it's the hair" you commented without looking up from your homework. "It's that shaggy kind of Beatles hair. Very fashionable, girls tend to love it these days."

"I'm sorry- what do bugs have to do with my hair?"

At this you looked up. "Not just beatles, genius, THE Beatles."

He blinked.

"Oh you have got to be boody kidding me - the Beatles? Boysband? I mean, they quit a couple of years ago, but seriously?"

He and James shrugged, making your mouth fall open. You shared a look with Remus, who - thank goodness - looked as shocked as you felt.

"Damn. I know the muggle and magic society are isolated, but this is ridiculous. They're world-famous!"

Sirius laughed. "Well, I suppose I really don't know anything about muggles, do I?"

James sniggered. "Sounds like you don't know anything about girls either."

"Shut up, James! Besides, I happen to have a girlfriend! Remind me, how are things with Lily?" At this, James quickly stopped laughing, making you cough away a snort in your hand.

After a moment of silence, however, Sirius turned to you. "Say, (y/n), you're a girl-"

"Well however did you figure that out?"

"- and I've never heard you giggle. What's up with that? What's it all about?"

"Yeah, (y/n)!" Peter chimed in. "Tell us about the giggling!"

From the corner of your eye you saw Remus looking at you with what looked like a disproportionate amount of amusement on his face. You rolled your eyes.

"All right. You want to know the truth about the giggling? Well, here it is: it's fake." Three of the four boys around you looked bewildered, clearly not having expected that statement.

"It's true" you continued. "Nobody real, or in their right mind, 'giggles'. It doesn't exist. People laugh, snort, snicker or whatever. But people who 'giggle' should not be trusted, because they are, in fact, not in their right mind. They might be panicking, which results in the 'panicked giggle'. They light be hiding something, which results in the 'creepy fake giggle'. Or they might have a crush in the giggle you most likely heard: the 'I'm a teenager who wants to snog' giggle. All these giggles have one thing in common, though: people who display either of them have a temporary reduction in IQ of at least 10 points."

The boys blinked. Then blinked again.

"You know," Remus began after a moment of befuddled silence, "if you'd show this much analytical capability in your homework you'd never have to ask for my help again."

You shrugged. "I call it 'selective illumination'."

Sirius frowned. "While that was - uhm - a lot, it still doesn't explain why. I mean, my hair. Really? You can't fancy someone just for their hair. Besides, I have a girlfriend."

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but to a silly teenager that only means you're on the market" you explained. "Doesn't matter if you're currently dating someone, all they see is that you're interested in dating in the first place."

Sirius didn't look convinced.

"And, of course," you continued, "there's this little detail, that - uhm, how do I say it..."

"He's filthy loaded" Remus deadpanned.

"You're filthy loaded" you nodded. Shrugging, you continued. "Does it even matter, though? People don't really need a reason for a crush, especially teenagers. Most likely she just wants to have some fun, and looked around for the fist non-disgusting person to have a crush on."

Sirius turned pensive. "Huh..."

"Now, however amusing your new fangurl may be, onto more pressing matters. Remus, d'you have question six?"

"Merlin's beard, (y/n)! Lacewing flies!"