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ShadowsofHome — You, Who Follows Me Everywhere I Go by-nc-nd
Published: 2014-01-24 20:12:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 77; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description I'm figuring out now why it's so hard to sleep,
the regret of my mistake and facades.
I could smile like nothing was wrong while you died on that table.
Your print is lost amongst the garage; nowhere are you now.
Yet, it seems you follow me everywhere I go.
I close my eyes and there you are, as active as yesterday.
Even when my eyes are open, I see you standing there, waiting to be let back in.
I understand now why you are always on the other side of the glass sliding door.
Dog or human I always react the same.
Death is just something I ignore.
I smile, or don't, and simply say you've died as the fact that it is.
I don't think about the last things I said to you,
because in your final hours I had given you no signs of love.
I found you, I helped you inside, but I never spoke a word.
You lied there until you were taken away to be helped,
oh, but it was far too late.
I was always the first to notice when something was amiss.
Did you know that?
That I always looked out for you?
I gave up another to protect you,
even though you of all didn't need help to defend yourself.
You were stronger than I could ever be.
Blind, deaf, but you showed no fear.
You never cried or hid,
you just smiled and nuzzled your head against those you loved.
You lied on our laps,
crushing us with your weight mind you,
but I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I watch movies after that day that make even my strong brother cry,
and I just sit and watch as if it were a documentary I had seen too many times to care anymore.
I close my eyes,
and amongst the nightmares there was you.
I never really see your eyes,
but you always are by my side.
I only see those pleading eyes through the glass door,
where you wait for me to let you in.
But I will not.
I can not.
I don't want to feel anymore.
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