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shadowsofkojima — making out
Published: 2003-10-28 16:00:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 182; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 18
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Description we stood at the food court
with each other in our arms
everyohe was trying not to stare
but i didnt care
the only thing that mattered
was the soft carres of your hair
a breath on my cheek
bite my neck
make my legs weak
as we kissed
locked in embrace
my heart beat fast
just like a race
our lips in harmony
our toungues caress
the little mint dissolved slowly
back and forth
back and forth
over and over again
there was a soft humor
in that joined smile
but then all was done
that trax train was here
and as you left my side
i nibbled on your ear
we parted ways
only after embrace
and went our seperate ways
to live our lives in other days
but i love you
and i screamed into the night
ill hold you
just keep you by my side
ill love you
if you will be my wife

now at that last line i was shocked
my world has been rocked
will you love me in three years?
if then, then maybe...
cheers
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Comments: 11

methadonriver [2004-02-03 16:36:58 +0000 UTC]

This is so beautiful, I love the PDA reference, it makes it very easy to relate too. You did a wonderful job with the descriptions. I love the " breath on my cheek" I don't know why, but it really adds to the feeling of love in this piece

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

shadowsofkojima In reply to methadonriver [2004-02-03 22:15:25 +0000 UTC]

thanks ^-^ it was really wierd to hear ferrett doing that while me and darci were about fifteen feet away

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

JackieSkellington [2003-10-29 23:58:01 +0000 UTC]

Hum, you must really like this gurl, eh? Planning to marry her for real? Is she your first? It's..........well, it's interesting. But making out isn't a very romantic word if you know what I mean

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

shadowsofkojima In reply to JackieSkellington [2003-10-30 15:13:21 +0000 UTC]

yes jack i know what you mean, i struggled to come up with the title, i had writer's block, give a guy a break, ne? o well... no we havent done...that....but she isnt my first g/f but i really do think ive flat out fallen for her^^ *nodnods*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

darmalith [2003-10-29 03:10:05 +0000 UTC]

HA! you used the line like I said you should ! bahahahaha *walks off in a straight jacket*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

shadowsofkojima In reply to darmalith [2003-10-30 15:11:38 +0000 UTC]

you cant have the straight jacket! that's ferrett's...and maxx's two people alreday have it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

darci-pants [2003-10-28 22:41:53 +0000 UTC]

aww... ^^ that makes me feel all special... *huggles*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

shadowsofkojima In reply to darci-pants [2003-10-30 15:10:47 +0000 UTC]

well, it should ^-^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kinglyaxeman [2003-10-28 16:06:43 +0000 UTC]

I'd recommend using capitalization - the lack of it doesn't really help the poem at all.

And I just wanted to say I hate people who make out in public!

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

kinglyaxeman In reply to kinglyaxeman [2003-10-30 15:40:11 +0000 UTC]

Haha, don't take my suggestions as demands, I was just suggesting that if you don't have a specific reason not to use capitalization, I don't see why you wouldn't.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

shadowsofkojima In reply to kinglyaxeman [2003-10-30 15:10:01 +0000 UTC]

well...that's your choice...but thanks, ill use capitalization next time i suppose...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0