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ShadowsofLight777 — Even Overkill Went Overboard
Published: 2017-12-03 09:27:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 115; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
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Tethers tear sideways
evangelized unwindings - the unfriending
the unbending
Chokehold goals let go
concussion-esque concessions
of the inedible sort; indiscretions
swell our balking banks
Flaky flotsam
jaded jetsam
callow cargo floats condemned
Shards shore sorely upon us
fragments
serrated
sharpened
silhouettes scream & snap
Through slices of a shattered mirror
retracting tactless
echos
back
A wintry refrain
dim demure denials
drive the abstaining
& our iced abbreviations
out to Arctic seas
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Comments: 15
I like it. It has an odd visceral quality. Very original. Self reflection is so hard, and I applaud it. Thanks for sharing.
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Hey!! Thank you so much 
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The funny thing is that the self-centered people will appreciate it the least, because they are somehow the worst at introspect. I think the ego gets in the way. The givers and supportive folks will notice, and I would be shocked if you did not receive more feedback on this. It inspires me to take a deeper look the next time I write introspect.
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Thank you so much for that, you don't know how much that means to me. In the past (thankfully no longer) I associated with people who said my poetry was self-centered, *because* it's introspective. I quit writing (beside the occasional piece every few months) for at least 3 solid years because of it. I believed them, simply because I confused introspection with selfish expression. I'm sure other poets have received similar feedback, likely even 'the greats'.
This is a relief to hear, you really made my day <3
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I would go as far as to say that all meaningful poetry is based on introspect. The perspective is what gives it the 'emotional gravity' that makes it great.
In the interest of further debunking those who came before, I would like to let you know that your self appraisal actually inspired me to go after myself a bit.
Its Not Humble, Its Just SillySomeone says something so kind and encouraging
And my cheeks immediately feel like they’re burning.
Then I feel like I’m looking around for a suitable hole,
To get myself into, like some anxious and nervous mole.
Then I want to turn next to a stance of deflection,
As if that might offer some silly sort of protection.
As if I’m in danger from some kind of malignance,
As if there’s is no chance I may offer any elegance.
I would much rather asses an honest criticism,
As if they are less of a strange and alien schism.
I long for correction, stupidly turning my back,
On a generous word, meant so kindly with tact.
Now I’m turning the tide, but it’s slow and by jerks,
As I grow more confident in the merit of my works.
I feel that small tugging, by that unseen daemon,
I take away its power and perhaps even its reason.
Sure I may still blush, and very awkwardly reply,
I can’t help it yet, of that I simply must not lie.
But that will change
It was almost therapeutic in a way to put my feelings on the subject into verse.
Always write what you feel, and forget what people think about the content. Their criticism was very narrow minded, meaning as little offense to them as possible.
Sincerely
Jared Osullivan
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That was an excellent piece!! Thank you so much for sharing that with me <3
Most of it probably it! Maybe there are some experimental pieces that are good, but the emotional gravity is of utmost importance.
It's beginning to seem like that sort of criticism is a backward sort of compliment/affirmation. If they don't enjoy it, it's probably worth reading! Haha
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Perhaps it is backward compliment, although I don't know anything about the parties in question and would not make too many presumptuous judgements.
I really have no place to judge though, as I am a terrible critique and usually have very thin criticism to offer. Particularly when I like a piece, I have a hard time seeing anything missing or to be improved on. Another item for the personal growth department I suppose.
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I guess I just mean, if people with poor taste and shallow awareness dislike your work, maybe it means you're on the right path?
I understand that very much, it's difficult for me as well. And it's hard to ever shake the feelings of being contentious if I do (which isn't the case, but it simply feels that way) by critiquing something beyond simple misspellings or mistakes.
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Well, knowing that we both share that same difficulty, we could probably help each other in that department if we both agree to be patient about it.
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Excellent. Sen a note when you submit something so I don't miss it.
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Oh ok! Or just "watch" each other
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As kreepy as it sounds, I'm already watching you lol. I will warn you however that sometimes I miss items in the watch stack.
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Oh gotcha! Not creepy at all lol! It's what DA is for. My pre-caffeinated morning mind just forgot you added me 😆
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