HOME | DD

Description
          My name is Elijah Walker. I'm twenty-four years old and for all intents and purposes, I'm alone. Sure I have my friends, but ever since my father and mother passed I feel like I'm alone in this world.  This could mean nothing to you, reader, or it could mean everything. You could be twenty four and struggling with their past, or you like I could of lost your parents at a younger age, at the writing of this I could really give a care less.  All I want to do is write down what I remember so that I never forget it. Because if I do, I know I will be forced to remember it again one day and I don't want history to repeat itself.  Please understand, I'm not admitting to killing anyone. Well not recently-no scratch that I haven't. I know I haven't, I blocked what I did because I thought I was responsible, but, recently I figured out differently. I know I may sound like I'm rambling, but trust me I'm not.  It's just this memory, it would eat at you if you'd had it too, eat at you like a cancer, but really I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me take you back to what happened that made me remember this…

                It was a Wednesday, just a normal Wednesday really. I had it off from my job at the local comic shop.  Yes I'm what you could call a geek, so are my friends.  We were gathered around the glass case at the front marveling at some new Spawn figures that had come in.  I was holding the case out to my friend Ethan, out of all of us he was the one who enjoyed Spawn the most the first to comment was Airi and I almost had to stifle a laugh, "Spawn, I still don't get it."

Ethan continued the conversation by saying "Well that's because you're a girl! You wouldn't understand morbid things." I had to laugh at this, and remind him

"Dude, she's a toxicology student!" he blushed and nodded.

                I had known these two for years.  They knew everything, well at least everything that I knew about myself.  As we left the store that day I felt something brush against me, I had no clue what it was, but I thought maybe someone had brushed up against me so I asked them "Ok who bumped into me?" They both looked at me quizzically and said "Neither". I shrugged it off.  Little did I know how important that one brush against me would be.

                We all sat around chit-chatting about high school when all of the sudden, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and thought to myself No, no it couldn't be, I almost ran out into the cold night air after the specter but decided that it would be foolish.  I sat there drinking my Smirnoff Ice and talking. Airi was the only one to notice anything off, like usual. When everyone departed for their houses she hung back and said:

"Alright Li," she had called me that for I don't know how long, "What's wrong? You looked shaken about half the night."

"Nothing," I said searching the night sky as we set out on my front stoop "nothing at all, I enjoyed tonight, didn't you?" I was trying to change the subject; I didn't want her to know what was really going through my head.
'That's bullshit, and you know it" she said looking at me with her brilliant green grey eyes.

"No, no it's not, Airi", I was visibly shaken; if what I had seen was true… "Just leave it be, for me this one time? Please?" I begged her

She looked like she was about to stab me for begging her, "God damn it Elijah, one of these days I'm going to use Sodium Pentothal on you. You know how I can't say no to you when you beg"

I smiled, "Thank you, sweetie." If I had thought about beforehand I would have asked her out right there, she was the most beautiful girl I knew and I couldn't help but look at her.

                Once she was left I was left to my own devices and of course upon that I started to search inward, of my past.  My dad, he had been leader of a cult at one time.  I never much spoke of him to my friends because if they knew I was related to him they would freak out, that and I was ashamed. My dad's religion was called The Goat of Civilization, he taught that many of God's old practices weren't done away with because of Jesus, he taught his followers to sacrifice. I spent most of my early formative years at a compound with most of his followers.  One day, while preaching he said he received a message that he was the Christ and not Jesus. I couldn't stand that, I ran away and stayed away at one of the old houses for a few weeks. The only thing that brought me back was his funeral.  At the funeral it seemed like I was floating through a fog.  The one thing I wanted in this whole world had just come true; my dad was dead, but so was my mom.  It seems they were riding into town when a semi sideswiped them, many of the followers gave their condolences; my aunts said they would look after me.  I got the house that I live in now, someone had asked about a sister I had; I didn't know what he was talking about.  As far as I could remember I had no siblings.

                I looked at myself in the mirror, at twenty-four I looked like my father, hazel green eyes, black hair standing about six one.  The only thing that distinguished me and my father was the scar I carried across my nose and lip.  I could never remember where I got it from, but according to Airi it made me "ruggedly handsome" in a way; of course I thought it made me look like I had been dropped on an axe or something.

                I stretched and started to walk toward the kitchen when it began; the lights flickered, my first thought was, Oh great another storm, but then I looked out the window and saw that there was not flashing of lightning or anything to signal a storm. Odd, I thought. I didn't have a second to think when something came flying at me next I barely moved out of the way to notice it was my den table "What the fuck?!" I screamed, the only thing I heard in response was a giggle.  I started to move when the lights went completely out; there was sound all around me I could barely make it out.

Fate

Fate

Too late!

"Who is that? Ethan is this a fucking joke?!"

Not Ethan, Elly the voice said, it was only then that I knew it was in my head, I ran to the front room in a rush.  I met the floor, "Fuck" I said, and the invisible voice giggled.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

Tsk, tsk, Elly you've forgotten me?!

"Well, I can't see you!"

Oh, well then, the being materialized in front of me. "Is this better Elly?" She was female, translucent, the size of a six or seven year old child, and if I could see colors I could swear she had the same hair as me "Do you recognize me now, Elly?"

"N-n-no, it can't be, you don't exist!"

"Oh but I do Elly!"

"I imagined you when I was younger!"

"Oh really?" her transparent arm turned into a skeletal arm, she grabbed me by the throat and I started to float back, to a night long forgotten
                                                   ---------------------

               I heard the thunder crack outside my window. I shook in my bed, I didn't like the rain much, and it sounded like claws on the roof to me.  I tossed and turned I couldn't get comfortable.  I heard something coming from the hall, I knew who it was and shot up in my bed "Dad, I sai- , " there standing in the door wasn't my dad, but my six year old little sister.

"Help me Elly, please" she begged and I wondered what was going on, I didn't need to wait for an answer bursting in the door came my father drunk, funny thing that, he often preached to his congregation not to drink but he drank like a fish when he was at his house in the compound.  I could see it in his eyes; I sighed and before I could react he grabbed my sister and slammed her against the wall I tried to scream, but nothing came out; he beat her, and did other terrible things to her.  When he was done, he did something he's never done before; he brought out a blade and plunged it into her letting the blade hit the floor he seemed to sober and say

"Oh god, oh god no," he looked at me and spat out "This is your fault Elijah! Your fault!" he grabbed me by the neck

"How", I said as he dropped me to the floor, "is it my fault?"

"You were supposed to protect her from everything! You are your sister's keeper!"
He started to drag her out of the room "well help me you, ungrateful bastard!"
I couldn't move until he made a move for me I grabbed her legs and started to help, my body moving involuntarily or so it seemed, I was in shock my mother woke up and my father gave her a look that she had seen many times before; one that said, don't you dare "DON'T YOU DARE say a fucking word, bitch!"  I knew it too.

                He dropped her into the back of the truck, nobody woke up it wasn't uncommon; dad had the run of his followers.  We both got in, him of his own free will I was shoved into the seat and let out a yelp of pain; fuck it hurt. It hurt bad enough that I had to hold back tears.  We drove out past the compound into the forest he stopped and ordered me to pick her up, from the truck bed I got out and did as I was told I started to sputter and cough and I landed in the dirt in my nightclothes.  "Damn it", I muttered and the next thing I knew I felt a hand slap across my face.

"What have I told you about that?" The drunkard spat

"Not to because the only man who can condemn is not a man but God"

"Exactly right. Now set her over there," he pointed to a clear patch in the dirt and help me dig" he got the shovels he kept in his truck out and tossed one to me.  I barely caught it and watched where he wanted me to dig before striking the dirt there myself.

It took what felt like hours I was soaked to the bone from my own sweat and the rain that was coming down. We finally finished and he tossed her into the grave, I felt like I wasn't even a part of this, and I didn't want to be; that's why I blocked it out, the whole event.

"If you tell a soul, son, and I mean any fucking soul' he said, the reek of alcohol coming from his mouth, "You'll join her."

                                                      ---------------

I came to and the ghost sat in front of me, the first words out of my mouth were

"I'm so sorry-I'm so sorry!"

She laughed an evil laugh and said, "That won't cut it, Elly. I came here for one reason and one reason alone."

"What was that?"

                                                       -------

                I hadn't seen him for weeks, it seems months, when I got the call from Decadent Falls Asylum, I had wondered where he had been, Ethan and I both wondered.  I went to the front desk and said, "I'm here to speak to Dr. Avi."
The nurse looked up at me "Who may I ask is seeking him?" she asked over her horn rimmed glasses.

"Airi Solando", I said looking at her in the eyes, Bitch, I thought as she picked up the phone.

"Yes, Doctor" she spoke in to the receiver, "I have a Mrs-"

"Missus"

The nurse gave me a "go to hell" look and said "MISSUS Solando here to speak to you"

                It didn't the doctor long, he shot out of the backroom and said "Thank you, thank you Ms. Solando for coming on such short notice."

"Yes.  Now Doctor, you said that had information on my friend Li."

"Yes, well you haven't seen him in…"

"Two months. Last thing I knew he was getting carted out of his house by an ambulance because a neighbor noticed that he hadn't come out in three days."
"Well, it seems your friend suffered from a psychotic breakdown when we found him, he was holding this."

The doctor handed me a piece of paper with the word Astrid written on it.
"Doctor, I don't know what this means."

"Well we were hoping you did," he said as we finally started to move back, "because that's all he will say now."

We were now face to face with a plate glass window and inside was my friend Elijah Walker, he was a dear friend to me but looking at him now it looked like he had not slept in months, all he was doing was rocking back and forth saying, "Astrid, Astrid, Astrid."

"I wish I knew, doctor, I really do." I put my hand to the glass and thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye but wished it off to my mind playing tricks, there were my answers and now I wish I had none.

Description
          My name is Elijah Walker. I'm twenty-four years old and for all intents and purposes, I'm alone. Sure I have my friends, but ever since my father and mother passed I feel like I'm alone in this world.  This could mean nothing to you, reader, or it could mean everything. You could be twenty four and struggling with their past, or you like I could of lost your parents at a younger age, at the writing of this I could really give a care less.  All I want to do is write down what I remember so that I never forget it. Because if I do, I know I will be forced to remember it again one day and I don't want history to repeat itself.  Please understand, I'm not admitting to killing anyone. Well not recently-no scratch that I haven't. I know I haven't, I blocked what I did because I thought I was responsible, but, recently I figured out differently. I know I may sound like I'm rambling, but trust me I'm not.  It's just this memory, it would eat at you if you'd had it too, eat at you like a cancer, but really I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me take you back to what happened that made me remember this…

                It was a Wednesday, just a normal Wednesday really. I had it off from my job at the local comic shop.  Yes I'm what you could call a geek, so are my friends.  We were gathered around the glass case at the front marveling at some new Spawn figures that had come in.  I was holding the case out to my friend Ethan, out of all of us he was the one who enjoyed Spawn the most the first to comment was Airi and I almost had to stifle a laugh, "Spawn, I still don't get it."

Ethan continued the conversation by saying "Well that's because you're a girl! You wouldn't understand morbid things." I had to laugh at this, and remind him

"Dude, she's a toxicology student!" he blushed and nodded.

                I had known these two for years.  They knew everything, well at least everything that I knew about myself.  As we left the store that day I felt something brush against me, I had no clue what it was, but I thought maybe someone had brushed up against me so I asked them "Ok who bumped into me?" They both looked at me quizzically and said "Neither". I shrugged it off.  Little did I know how important that one brush against me would be.

                We all sat around chit-chatting about high school when all of the sudden, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and thought to myself No, no it couldn't be, I almost ran out into the cold night air after the specter but decided that it would be foolish.  I sat there drinking my Smirnoff Ice and talking. Airi was the only one to notice anything off, like usual. When everyone departed for their houses she hung back and said:

"Alright Li," she had called me that for I don't know how long, "What's wrong? You looked shaken about half the night."

"Nothing," I said searching the night sky as we set out on my front stoop "nothing at all, I enjoyed tonight, didn't you?" I was trying to change the subject; I didn't want her to know what was really going through my head.
'That's bullshit, and you know it" she said looking at me with her brilliant green grey eyes.

"No, no it's not, Airi", I was visibly shaken; if what I had seen was true… "Just leave it be, for me this one time? Please?" I begged her

She looked like she was about to stab me for begging her, "God damn it Elijah, one of these days I'm going to use Sodium Pentothal on you. You know how I can't say no to you when you beg"

I smiled, "Thank you, sweetie." If I had thought about beforehand I would have asked her out right there, she was the most beautiful girl I knew and I couldn't help but look at her.

                Once she was left I was left to my own devices and of course upon that I started to search inward, of my past.  My dad, he had been leader of a cult at one time.  I never much spoke of him to my friends because if they knew I was related to him they would freak out, that and I was ashamed. My dad's religion was called The Goat of Civilization, he taught that many of God's old practices weren't done away with because of Jesus, he taught his followers to sacrifice. I spent most of my early formative years at a compound with most of his followers.  One day, while preaching he said he received a message that he was the Christ and not Jesus. I couldn't stand that, I ran away and stayed away at one of the old houses for a few weeks. The only thing that brought me back was his funeral.  At the funeral it seemed like I was floating through a fog.  The one thing I wanted in this whole world had just come true; my dad was dead, but so was my mom.  It seems they were riding into town when a semi sideswiped them, many of the followers gave their condolences; my aunts said they would look after me.  I got the house that I live in now, someone had asked about a sister I had; I didn't know what he was talking about.  As far as I could remember I had no siblings.

                I looked at myself in the mirror, at twenty-four I looked like my father, hazel green eyes, black hair standing about six one.  The only thing that distinguished me and my father was the scar I carried across my nose and lip.  I could never remember where I got it from, but according to Airi it made me "ruggedly handsome" in a way; of course I thought it made me look like I had been dropped on an axe or something.

                I stretched and started to walk toward the kitchen when it began; the lights flickered, my first thought was, Oh great another storm, but then I looked out the window and saw that there was not flashing of lightning or anything to signal a storm. Odd, I thought. I didn't have a second to think when something came flying at me next I barely moved out of the way to notice it was my den table "What the fuck?!" I screamed, the only thing I heard in response was a giggle.  I started to move when the lights went completely out; there was sound all around me I could barely make it out.

Fate

Fate

Too late!

"Who is that? Ethan is this a fucking joke?!"

Not Ethan, Elly the voice said, it was only then that I knew it was in my head, I ran to the front room in a rush.  I met the floor, "Fuck" I said, and the invisible voice giggled.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

Tsk, tsk, Elly you've forgotten me?!

"Well, I can't see you!"

Oh, well then, the being materialized in front of me. "Is this better Elly?" She was female, translucent, the size of a six or seven year old child, and if I could see colors I could swear she had the same hair as me "Do you recognize me now, Elly?"

"N-n-no, it can't be, you don't exist!"

"Oh but I do Elly!"

"I imagined you when I was younger!"

"Oh really?" her transparent arm turned into a skeletal arm, she grabbed me by the throat and I started to float back, to a night long forgotten
                                                   ---------------------

               I heard the thunder crack outside my window. I shook in my bed, I didn't like the rain much, and it sounded like claws on the roof to me.  I tossed and turned I couldn't get comfortable.  I heard something coming from the hall, I knew who it was and shot up in my bed "Dad, I sai- , " there standing in the door wasn't my dad, but my six year old little sister.

"Help me Elly, please" she begged and I wondered what was going on, I didn't need to wait for an answer bursting in the door came my father drunk, funny thing that, he often preached to his congregation not to drink but he drank like a fish when he was at his house in the compound.  I could see it in his eyes; I sighed and before I could react he grabbed my sister and slammed her against the wall I tried to scream, but nothing came out; he beat her, and did other terrible things to her.  When he was done, he did something he's never done before; he brought out a blade and plunged it into her letting the blade hit the floor he seemed to sober and say

"Oh god, oh god no," he looked at me and spat out "This is your fault Elijah! Your fault!" he grabbed me by the neck

"How", I said as he dropped me to the floor, "is it my fault?"

"You were supposed to protect her from everything! You are your sister's keeper!"
He started to drag her out of the room "well help me you, ungrateful bastard!"
I couldn't move until he made a move for me I grabbed her legs and started to help, my body moving involuntarily or so it seemed, I was in shock my mother woke up and my father gave her a look that she had seen many times before; one that said, don't you dare "DON'T YOU DARE say a fucking word, bitch!"  I knew it too.

                He dropped her into the back of the truck, nobody woke up it wasn't uncommon; dad had the run of his followers.  We both got in, him of his own free will I was shoved into the seat and let out a yelp of pain; fuck it hurt. It hurt bad enough that I had to hold back tears.  We drove out past the compound into the forest he stopped and ordered me to pick her up, from the truck bed I got out and did as I was told I started to sputter and cough and I landed in the dirt in my nightclothes.  "Damn it", I muttered and the next thing I knew I felt a hand slap across my face.

"What have I told you about that?" The drunkard spat

"Not to because the only man who can condemn is not a man but God"

"Exactly right. Now set her over there," he pointed to a clear patch in the dirt and help me dig" he got the shovels he kept in his truck out and tossed one to me.  I barely caught it and watched where he wanted me to dig before striking the dirt there myself.

It took what felt like hours I was soaked to the bone from my own sweat and the rain that was coming down. We finally finished and he tossed her into the grave, I felt like I wasn't even a part of this, and I didn't want to be; that's why I blocked it out, the whole event.

"If you tell a soul, son, and I mean any fucking soul' he said, the reek of alcohol coming from his mouth, "You'll join her."

                                                      ---------------

I came to and the ghost sat in front of me, the first words out of my mouth were

"I'm so sorry-I'm so sorry!"

She laughed an evil laugh and said, "That won't cut it, Elly. I came here for one reason and one reason alone."

"What was that?"

                                                       -------

                I hadn't seen him for weeks, it seems months, when I got the call from Decadent Falls Asylum, I had wondered where he had been, Ethan and I both wondered.  I went to the front desk and said, "I'm here to speak to Dr. Avi."
The nurse looked up at me "Who may I ask is seeking him?" she asked over her horn rimmed glasses.

"Airi Solando", I said looking at her in the eyes, Bitch, I thought as she picked up the phone.

"Yes, Doctor" she spoke in to the receiver, "I have a Mrs-"

"Missus"

The nurse gave me a "go to hell" look and said "MISSUS Solando here to speak to you"

                It didn't the doctor long, he shot out of the backroom and said "Thank you, thank you Ms. Solando for coming on such short notice."

"Yes.  Now Doctor, you said that had information on my friend Li."

"Yes, well you haven't seen him in…"

"Two months. Last thing I knew he was getting carted out of his house by an ambulance because a neighbor noticed that he hadn't come out in three days."
"Well, it seems your friend suffered from a psychotic breakdown when we found him, he was holding this."

The doctor handed me a piece of paper with the word Astrid written on it.
"Doctor, I don't know what this means."

"Well we were hoping you did," he said as we finally started to move back, "because that's all he will say now."

We were now face to face with a plate glass window and inside was my friend Elijah Walker, he was a dear friend to me but looking at him now it looked like he had not slept in months, all he was doing was rocking back and forth saying, "Astrid, Astrid, Astrid."

"I wish I knew, doctor, I really do." I put my hand to the glass and thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye but wished it off to my mind playing tricks, there were my answers and now I wish I had none.