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shadowsofthought — The Last Rite
Published: 2009-05-25 06:24:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 301; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 1
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Description
Stress of the heartBetrayed
Torn apart
Begging to hit restart
But only to be left apart
As the light drains
From this world
And only darkness seems
To remain
We unworthy humans
Are left chained
Out in a relentless rain
For we go against
Those who have built a defense
No matter, for we all know better
They need us
So they can keep up
Their unholy fuss
For they see not
Through the veil
Where their god
Rots
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Comments: 3
As the light drains
From this world
And only darkness seems
To remain
is a bit cliche
but for the rest
you use good punctuation and spacing
nice words
i think you don't really need to rewrite it
kinda would undo the work you did then right
nice job and keep em coming
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
hehe I knew it was cliche but when i wrote it out...It was fitting still is. Thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
remember cliche doesn't mean it's bad
👍: 0 ⏩: 0