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Description
I wonder, am I a selfless man that god abandoned by ceasing to exist, packing karma in his suitcase? Or am I simply a man of poor judgement.

Maybe nice guys finish last. Maybe if I were to use my instinct and bias to guide others, if I were to influence them, I'd be better off. Maybe they'd trust me despite using my place of trust to attach my puppet strings to their minds and begin the manipulation. Maybe what comes around doesn't really go around. I sincerely hope not. I hope I haven't wasted my time.

Or, the alternative, perhaps it's my judgement, perhaps I'm right, and perhaps those who I've helped in the past were blinded by ignorance, and chose to make the worst possible choices, spitting in my face and damning their own well being for scum that will never care about them the way they should. Maybe I'm better off planting every ounce of bias I can, no matter how vulnerable and impressionable the person is. Sounds flattering, and better than the former, but in the end kind of selfish.

All I know is that honesty, integrity, and drawing a firm line between my personal beliefs and the core values I preach, fight for, and know to be true, has led me only to disappointment. I've seen my choices only lead to the same thing. I suffer, they make the same mistakes Makes you wonder if the good guys really win in the end.

Description
I wonder, am I a selfless man that god abandoned by ceasing to exist, packing karma in his suitcase? Or am I simply a man of poor judgement.

Maybe nice guys finish last. Maybe if I were to use my instinct and bias to guide others, if I were to influence them, I'd be better off. Maybe they'd trust me despite using my place of trust to attach my puppet strings to their minds and begin the manipulation. Maybe what comes around doesn't really go around. I sincerely hope not. I hope I haven't wasted my time.

Or, the alternative, perhaps it's my judgement, perhaps I'm right, and perhaps those who I've helped in the past were blinded by ignorance, and chose to make the worst possible choices, spitting in my face and damning their own well being for scum that will never care about them the way they should. Maybe I'm better off planting every ounce of bias I can, no matter how vulnerable and impressionable the person is. Sounds flattering, and better than the former, but in the end kind of selfish.

All I know is that honesty, integrity, and drawing a firm line between my personal beliefs and the core values I preach, fight for, and know to be true, has led me only to disappointment. I've seen my choices only lead to the same thing. I suffer, they make the same mistakes Makes you wonder if the good guys really win in the end.