HOME | DD

ShutterbugShots — Bells
Published: 2009-10-12 22:04:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 183; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description She’s a smear
Of angry red lipstick
On the back of his neck
She lies beneath
The charcoal sky
Of swallowed dreams
As heaven oozes out
From a million pinpricks
Gouging the atmosphere

The angels peek through
With a curious stare
A thousand eyes
On the girl staring back
An angel with no wings
And no song to call her home

She’s finding another ride home
Inhale
Another drag
Exhale
Her thoughts
Are higher than home tonight
Mascara staining
Paled cheeks
Unseeing eyes
Following different lights
Stop signs
One way
(WRONG WAY!!)
Dead end: scraping her off the pavement
She’s home again
Related content
Comments: 4

xXxExsanguinatioNxXx [2009-11-28 19:04:36 +0000 UTC]

i love the concept of angels, and wings, staining and pricking. Very creative. Love it to piecess.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ShutterbugShots In reply to xXxExsanguinatioNxXx [2012-04-23 09:23:04 +0000 UTC]

I burned up the thesaurus trying to get all the right words here

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Bahama-dreams [2009-10-14 07:52:04 +0000 UTC]

The first stanza uses the word sky three times. I'd try Gouging the heavens in place of Gouging the sky makes it flow more. Overall I like the word usage here and it paints a vivid mental picture for your reader. Nice!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ShutterbugShots In reply to Bahama-dreams [2012-04-23 09:21:34 +0000 UTC]

Changed ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0