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Published: 2003-03-20 01:04:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 246; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 16
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Description
I lay awake in my bedI\'m staring into space
The outer limits I\'ve met
With you
I\'m trying to figure out
What time you come home
I count the hours
In my head
When you cut
One inch away
From the vein
From your own side
Of history
You always were
A MYSTERY
A beautiful mystery...
To me.
You never really showed
Showed me this side before
I remember laughing
Laughing at your tears
Because your tears, they were...funny
And laughing at
The mistakes we made
They weren\'t really as funny
At the time.
You called me ugly then.
Though sweet music
Was our background
Children and dancing
This was love.
This was beauty
Our backseat beautiful lies.
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Comments: 5
benjilover31179 [2003-03-24 13:57:22 +0000 UTC]
this is an awesome poem...i love american beauty and i think that this poem...expresses feelings just like the movie..so they are both great...and beautiful i specially liked these words
When you cut
One inch away
From the vein
From your own side
Of history
You always were
A MYSTERY
A beautiful mystery...
To me.
Good Job.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
evilmacca [2003-03-20 19:47:22 +0000 UTC]
the first stanza has some good lines, i particularily like the counting down, but the lines referring to cutting don't really work for me. and the contrast between staring into the space above the bed to outer space works very well for me, the distance of thoughts that is contained in just a head. althought i feelt he middle part of the poem tails off abit, it just seems to rather lose the flow and power of the early lines.
but the lines:-
"Though sweet music
Was our background
Children and dancing
This was love.
This was beauty
Our backseat beautiful lies."
are bloody good. the picture created by sweet music and children and dancing is brilliant. i wish i'd written those lines, they remind me of the scene in Requim for a Dream ofthe black guy and his girlfriend having sex. i know that sounds quite juvenile but it has that power to it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
nostalgicstar [2003-03-20 11:55:10 +0000 UTC]
bahahaha ending is AMAZING, this line reminds me of dead bride:
When you cut
One inch away
From the vein
I said almost the exact same thing but its cool I love the whole analogy between beauty and relationship, i think you did a wonderful job expressing both. I LOVE YOU!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
timrkey [2003-03-20 01:31:28 +0000 UTC]
i FUCKING LOVE THE ENDING.
Our backseat beautiful lies.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
laurlooo [2003-03-20 01:22:08 +0000 UTC]
Jessie, I had to be cheesy, but this truly is beautiful. I can almost hear you saying this. Wonderful
👍: 0 ⏩: 0








