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silentpixie — Torn
Published: 2003-01-10 00:36:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 234; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 18
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Description
In this momentAs I speak
As I hold you
You are complete
Lifeless, plastic
So perfect, so glossy
And as would have been stated
\"You have no flaws\"
I stare into your face
And as I stare, I notice
That your smile no longer
Lends me comfort
No, not anymore
Not like last summer
I mean to set you down
I mean to hide you
Bury you
But, as I stare, I realize
That I am tired of staring
And so I make one tear
One tear right down the middle
Of your beautiful face
A tear similar to the one
Right down the middle of my heart
In this moment
As I cry
And oddly, as I smile
I am holding only two parts
I am holding
Two split halves of you
And these two halves alone
Are more than you were
And more than the boy
You insisted upon being
These two halves alone
Are more than how I acted
Are one result of me
From being around you
I honestly hate myself
When I am around you
You see, as I stare
I am starting to believe
That I don\'t want to hate myself
I tear you once again
I split both your middles
I attempt to destruct
These two mocking blue eyes
I attempt to destroy
These old beaten memories
In this moment
As I laugh
As I am relieved
I gather your scattered pieces
Your eyes
Your lips
And I tuck them away
As I no longer stare
I begin to welcome
The bittersweet emptiness
The bittersweet truth
That this is the new torn you
I\'ll carry with me.
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Comments: 4
jessie... that gives me a sense of morbid satisfaction ... just from reading it very kreepy-ified i love it!!! and that part that donna quoted....
And so I make one tear
One tear right down the middle
Of your beautiful face
A tear similar to the one
Right down the middle of my heart
...yea that... that was my favorite part
along with...
And these two halves alone
Are more than you were
And more than the boy
You insisted upon being
great work!!!!
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I did that to an ex's picture once--only I burnt it. The damn thing left a burnmark in the bathroom sink (made of plastic alloy)! So now, a burnt spot where I wash my hands and face is all that's left of her...
...hey, I should have written a poem about this!!! lol
This is strong. Steroids strong. The flow is constant, which is vital in an open-form poem. No grammatical or spelling errors, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with the form. This is an absolutely great poem! The screenshot, indeed, adds to it, too: the face he made for the pic has that look in his eyes--the look that says, "This picture is destined to be crucified."
Very good job! Ubetyourboots.
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I LOVE this poem!! Nice job! I'm adding it to my favorites!
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wow that gaves me goosebumps!!
this stanza, sounds like smoething i wrote a while ago about JACOB coincidentally (dickless not yours) COSMIC!:
And so I make one tear
One tear right down the middle
Of your beautiful face
A tear similar to the one
Right down the middle of my heart
This is an automatic fave, i love the feeling.. and i know that i can truely understand this because you have LET me understand how you feel. love hurts, but at the same time it can be the best feeling in the world. its a shame that falling out of love isnt as easy as falling in love
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