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"I can't... I can't take it anymore... I-I can't..."

Vitani managed to whimper between hyperventilated breaths. Never did she think she was the type to have a panic attack. She had felt them coming before but had always kept them inside, thinking of them to be nothing more than intrusive glimpses of an irrational feeling. This time, however, she wondered how it felt to finally let one slip. She didn't care anymore, she hadn't cared for weeks.

Tiifu, nor anyone for that matter, had ever heard such fear in Vitani's voice. It was sudden and loud, like she'd been screaming bloody murder. Speaking of Tiifu, Vitani had unfortunately chosen her of all people to witness her episode. She never meant to put Tiifu through such distress, at least, she didn't mean it now...

Vitani profusely apologized to the stout lioness that had approached her. She apologized for everything. She'd been especially harsh with her Guard, snapping at them and her brother and even Tiifu a few times, she'd even caught herself mouthing off at the older adults of the pride. Everyone annoyed her and she didn't know why. She really didn't know why it felt so good to be such an obnoxious, callous jerk to anything and anyone that annoyed her lately. But she was very sorry now, and was back to complying and agreeing with everyone, hoping it would patch up possibly tarnished relationships.

It's like she'd just lost that little cautious voice in her that told her to be careful. It felt as if she wanted to show how unwell she was by showing everyone just how much she didn't care anymore. No more respect to authority figures, no more keeping personally cutting insults against friends and family inside, no more consistent sleep, and no more eating with the pride. She felt like she wanted to be ill in all aspects, be it physically and mentally, even socially if that was a thing. Any kind of escape, anything that would make her pain noticed, anything to excuse her from the piling stress, even though she, herself couldn't quite grasp what the source of that pain and stress was. The lioness, who was now nuzzling her, may have had the answer.

"Vitani, you often tend to be your own worst critic. No one here is ever going to treat you as badly as you treat yourself."

Vitani sobbed and glanced down, unable to find herself to respond. The only other worst critic Vitani had known was her very own mother. Could Vitani.... perhaps be internalizing Zira's grating words?

Vitani had only ever known criticism. There'd always be something negative to say about everything, like everyone was awful and not to be trusted, and that there'd be no such thing as a real accomplishment to be proud of. There was to be no slacking off, nourishment and rest would be earned, rather than a priority to come first to guarantee success with work. Crying was an annoyance and would not get you anywhere. There would never be time to truly express yourself, just the need to serve others without question.

These were all philosophies that Zira had said, and by no other authority figures Vitani had known. It made her realize that Zira's way of teaching was not at all normal, but it had been what she had grown up with, so it was not easy to shake that voice from her mind. It was probably to carry on her whole life. If it was going to stay in Vitani's mind, then she was not about to let her internal Zira manifest on the outside. That was the one thing she knew she could to not become what she feared...

Vitani let Tiifu keep nuzzling her, and even let Tiifu turn the nuzzle into a warm, loving embrace, but Vitani had been too stunned and in deep thought to return the gesture. Tiifu wasn't at all hurt by it, she knew very well that Vitani wasn't trying to be rude or unloving. She suggested that Vitani go find some time and a place to finally get some long-needed rest.

__________

Literally this whole picture and the fic written underneath it was me almost directly projecting all of my feelings as of late unto Vitani. Why Vitani and Tiifu? idk, I've always wanted to draw Vitani showing a softer, more vulnerable side to Tiifu

To clarify no, my mom isn't the problem parent, it's my dad if anything. But... my mom isn't really helping the dysfunction. I think I just... wanna spend less time with them. Not out of hatred but just, a natural, temporary loss of vibes I'm having with them. I'm an adult and they shouldn't feel the need to tell me who I am

Description
"I can't... I can't take it anymore... I-I can't..."

Vitani managed to whimper between hyperventilated breaths. Never did she think she was the type to have a panic attack. She had felt them coming before but had always kept them inside, thinking of them to be nothing more than intrusive glimpses of an irrational feeling. This time, however, she wondered how it felt to finally let one slip. She didn't care anymore, she hadn't cared for weeks.

Tiifu, nor anyone for that matter, had ever heard such fear in Vitani's voice. It was sudden and loud, like she'd been screaming bloody murder. Speaking of Tiifu, Vitani had unfortunately chosen her of all people to witness her episode. She never meant to put Tiifu through such distress, at least, she didn't mean it now...

Vitani profusely apologized to the stout lioness that had approached her. She apologized for everything. She'd been especially harsh with her Guard, snapping at them and her brother and even Tiifu a few times, she'd even caught herself mouthing off at the older adults of the pride. Everyone annoyed her and she didn't know why. She really didn't know why it felt so good to be such an obnoxious, callous jerk to anything and anyone that annoyed her lately. But she was very sorry now, and was back to complying and agreeing with everyone, hoping it would patch up possibly tarnished relationships.

It's like she'd just lost that little cautious voice in her that told her to be careful. It felt as if she wanted to show how unwell she was by showing everyone just how much she didn't care anymore. No more respect to authority figures, no more keeping personally cutting insults against friends and family inside, no more consistent sleep, and no more eating with the pride. She felt like she wanted to be ill in all aspects, be it physically and mentally, even socially if that was a thing. Any kind of escape, anything that would make her pain noticed, anything to excuse her from the piling stress, even though she, herself couldn't quite grasp what the source of that pain and stress was. The lioness, who was now nuzzling her, may have had the answer.

"Vitani, you often tend to be your own worst critic. No one here is ever going to treat you as badly as you treat yourself."

Vitani sobbed and glanced down, unable to find herself to respond. The only other worst critic Vitani had known was her very own mother. Could Vitani.... perhaps be internalizing Zira's grating words?

Vitani had only ever known criticism. There'd always be something negative to say about everything, like everyone was awful and not to be trusted, and that there'd be no such thing as a real accomplishment to be proud of. There was to be no slacking off, nourishment and rest would be earned, rather than a priority to come first to guarantee success with work. Crying was an annoyance and would not get you anywhere. There would never be time to truly express yourself, just the need to serve others without question.

These were all philosophies that Zira had said, and by no other authority figures Vitani had known. It made her realize that Zira's way of teaching was not at all normal, but it had been what she had grown up with, so it was not easy to shake that voice from her mind. It was probably to carry on her whole life. If it was going to stay in Vitani's mind, then she was not about to let her internal Zira manifest on the outside. That was the one thing she knew she could to not become what she feared...

Vitani let Tiifu keep nuzzling her, and even let Tiifu turn the nuzzle into a warm, loving embrace, but Vitani had been too stunned and in deep thought to return the gesture. Tiifu wasn't at all hurt by it, she knew very well that Vitani wasn't trying to be rude or unloving. She suggested that Vitani go find some time and a place to finally get some long-needed rest.

__________

Literally this whole picture and the fic written underneath it was me almost directly projecting all of my feelings as of late unto Vitani. Why Vitani and Tiifu? idk, I've always wanted to draw Vitani showing a softer, more vulnerable side to Tiifu

To clarify no, my mom isn't the problem parent, it's my dad if anything. But... my mom isn't really helping the dysfunction. I think I just... wanna spend less time with them. Not out of hatred but just, a natural, temporary loss of vibes I'm having with them. I'm an adult and they shouldn't feel the need to tell me who I am