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SilverWynd — Escape
by-nc-nd
Published: 2010-06-04 02:10:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 759; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 18
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Description
She was the one in shades of black & bluewaiting enigmatically for the final train
her poor veiled eyes watched without a clue.
Navy blue duffle bag luggage soaked in the rain
lost among the crowd and totally alone
deep inside she'll never erase the reoccurring stain.
Her eyes turn upon the clock and contemplate the phone
feeling the weight all everything that will be left behind
cold skin like cold feet and fears like her hair wind blown.
Heavy metallic doors echo through her mind
and she hesitates for what seems like a life time
jarred as suddenly the gears begin to grind.
Still hovering half-way between escape the bells chime
almost a moment too late she says a last good-bye
and prepares to enter the great unknown sublime.
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Comments: 19
Congratulations on the DLD 
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Oh wow, this is fantastic.
Only criticism I can come up with it the use of "reoccurring" - I think it should be "recurring"? Not sure reoccurring is a real word, heh. But it's perfectly clear what you mean, so... I'll just stop being pedantic and fave this ^_^
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Thank you, hmmm recurring may sound better though reoccurring is indeed actually a word.
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ah, my mistake. Didn't have a dictionary on me to check xD
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Saying a little can often tell readers a lot, particularly when that little is contained within a traditional form. Congratulations on the DLD.
(In the second line of the third stanza might "of" be substituted for "all"?)
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Thank you very much, and yes, it is meant to be of, I proof read this too a couple of times.
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You're very welcome.
Proof reading is difficult, you see what you expect to see. My watchers have become adept at spotting typos!
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Yes that is quite true at times!
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Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) and has been selected as our “ Pick of the Day”. It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.
Keep writing and keep creating.
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Oh wow thank you very much, it is an honor.
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It was our pleasure.
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I'm a sucker for the imagery you have in this poem. Really enjoyed it.
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I like this a lot, the description and narrative are very interesting and intriguing, good work my friend...
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Thank you very much!
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You're welcome, it was a great poem...
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