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*Muffled voices*

Why, what's in there?

*muffled voice*

Fine, I'll go step on it.

*walks in the room, sees interviewer, does an about "NOPE" but gets the door slammed in his face* FFFF-

Oh heyyyyy... Whatever it is... I didn't do it. Wait, is this about the cockroach in the women's bathroom?

Oh... this is an interview? ...Um, suuuure... but never repeat that. Ever.

Q: What is your name?
I'm Carth Dieter.

Q: ...
...

Q: Anything else you'd like to add on that?
...Hey, you just asked for my name, pretty lady. Hm? OH. OH. UM... I am SO sorry sir! Uh...
...
...Well shit.

Q: *sigh*
Your voice is really high for a dude, you know that?

Q: ...
*awkward shifting in seat*

Q: Alright... next question... What can you tell us about yourself?
Well, I'm an infected like everyone else in this base. My parasite is some ancient pig called an entelodont, which you may know as the "terror pig" which fits mine quite well. I grew up in some apartment in the slums, but when I was four I was dropped off at "Love'n'Cherish" orphanage. Don't really remember my ma'h physically, but I was told was that she had thick black hair like me. My ma'h was addicted to cocaine, and I know nothing about my dad. The only thing I remember about him is that he use to give me tootsie rolls the few times he visited. They fought a lot, and I do remember that they use to shout, a lot. I don't know if they ever got physical, since they always put me in my room. And that's all I can remember about my childhood before the orphanage.

Um, I'm highly allergic to coconut, but I only react to it if I ingest it. I can touch it, but once it comes into contact with my mouth I get a mild case of hives. Artificially flavored is alright, but if any trace of the real stuff is in it then no way. I hate snails with a passion. They're not gross, just evil little mother fu- freakers. More? I like long walks on the beach with a Mojito in my hand and surrounded by chicks. Next.

Q: Do you have any friends or other family members?
I made a lot of friends in the orphanage, and five of them practically became family. Names? Well, there was J.T., he was like the oldest brother of the group, kind of like our dad. He left the orphanage a couple years before I was able to, but once each of us left we all joined him and managed to form a "brotherhood" of sorts. Then there was Todd, crazy guy and daredevil. Broke his leg once when we were kids because he was trying to find a "cool way" to jump off a roof onto the ground. Josh was mostly the brains of our group, since he was pretty good with math and taught us how to conserve money better. But man could he street dance. Smartest street dancer this side of the river. Once teased that he used math to figure out his next move, and I have to say I believed him. *laughs* Let's see I have J.T, Josh, Todd, Mike! Mike was a good guy. He was the prankster and kind of a bad influence on me since I took some of those skills and put them to use. Although when it came to women he was the classiest mother fu- ah sorry, street talk- the classiest man you'd ever meet. Treated every woman like they were princesses. Before I became an infected he was datin' this girl named Lydia, beautiful lady but fiesty. She wasn't one of those girls who would flip when their man spoke to another women, no, but she would try and fight his fights if he got into trouble. Matt and Lydia were the same age as J.T., so Lydia was like our mom. Met her years before I left the orphanage and she spoiled me rotten as a kid. Then there was Jared. *he starts laughing* Oh man, he was more of a lady's man than Matt. Had girls over all the time, but he always went for the rich girls, who turned their noses away once they saw how poor he was. Starstruck dude, but he always treated them respectfully. Never once shouted back at a girl while she was screaming at him. Jared was always a hard worker though and was the guardian of the group. Anyone came to mess with us, he was right in the front lines.

Q: Interesting, but keep your answers a bit shorter. We're short on time.
Ah, sorry sir.

Q: Can you tell me more about your parasite?
*silent for a bit* Eh, not something I really want to talk about. I absolutely hate my parasite, and he knows it. Named him Ebbe, because apparently you need to name it so people know who it is. The parasite is a dumb thing who forgets things within a day. He also mumbles a lot; gets angry a lot. When I first came to the base they had to lock me up for quite a while because the damn thing kept coming out... Can we skip this, please?

Q: Alright. Do you have any new friends?
...I think I detect a bit of bitterness in that question. Anyway, yes, I do. Made quite a few new friends once I was finally able to get my own living quarters. I've met Pris or "lil' shorty", Ava, nicest person you'll ever meet. Nitzah... crazy woman. Funny, but unpredictable. There's some others I've only come into contact with once or twice. I've also met Xena... but I don't think she's interested in being friends. I think she'd cut my hand off if I waved it in greeting. Good teacher, but I'm winding up in the medical bay as much as I use to. Mint practically knows me from the inside out she's patched me up so much. I'm like the medical bay regular.

Q: Do you have any crushes?
Oh, heh, not yet. *nervously rubs at his sternum* There's a lot of nice gals here, but I think they're all taken. Ah well, no one would want a guy who can't even control his parasite very well.

Q: Have you gotten into any fights?
I get into a fight at least three times a week because of my damn parasite. It's like... a black coil that you can't get out of. The only way I can get out is if someone literally beats him into submission, which is how I end up in the medical bay. As an F.Y.I., I hate fighting. Despise it. When I was un-infected my gang use to run from fights, but we teased the opposing gang all the way because they could never catch us once we climbed to the rooftops. Bonus of learning parkour. But, yeah... *slumps down in seat* Next question.

Q: Are there certain things that annoy you?
Like my parasite? Yeah. Pretty much the only thing that annoys me anymore. *leans back in seat* Any happier questions? I don't want to think on the negative.

Q: Alright, any likes?
Ah, much better. I am a sucker for tootsie rolls. Make me drool like a rabid animal, jus', not down the face. Also love parkouring, although I haven't done it in a while because of my private training lessons. I also go spear fishing. Was the best in the brotherhood, not to brag or nuttun, er, anything. Heh, street talkin' again. Grew up playing basketball, so the game is practically a part of my soul I love it so much. Also love to play field hockey, and street dancing. Back then my gang would occasionally run into this one friendly gang and we use to have dance battles to see who would own this certain abandoned block for a week. There was nothing in the buildings since they were all gutted out, but it was just a fun territory game. Also... I find I enjoy golf. Yeah, right? A big, street guy like me playing golf? Well, my gang never really had the money to play it, but at school for gym we had a few classes where we practiced how to hit a golf ball. After that some kids would occasionally break into the golf course in the city area, but we would only take the golf balls and one club for each person, and only make a second run if the club breaks. Yeah, I know, stealing is bad, but that rich country club had so many things in it I don't think they ever knew anything was missing.

Q: Do you like to talk a lot?
Hey, you said you wanted an interview. I'm just answering. Wait, is that camera behind you recording?! WHAT? Gah! Delete that thing! You can't? Then they'll know about the cockroaches! DAMN.

Q: Any closing statements?
*leans forward and points at camera* Trevor triple-dog dared me to do it.

*video cuts off with a girl screaming outside the door about large roaches in the women's bathroom and Carth booking it out of the room*

Description
*Muffled voices*

Why, what's in there?

*muffled voice*

Fine, I'll go step on it.

*walks in the room, sees interviewer, does an about "NOPE" but gets the door slammed in his face* FFFF-

Oh heyyyyy... Whatever it is... I didn't do it. Wait, is this about the cockroach in the women's bathroom?

Oh... this is an interview? ...Um, suuuure... but never repeat that. Ever.

Q: What is your name?
I'm Carth Dieter.

Q: ...
...

Q: Anything else you'd like to add on that?
...Hey, you just asked for my name, pretty lady. Hm? OH. OH. UM... I am SO sorry sir! Uh...
...
...Well shit.

Q: *sigh*
Your voice is really high for a dude, you know that?

Q: ...
*awkward shifting in seat*

Q: Alright... next question... What can you tell us about yourself?
Well, I'm an infected like everyone else in this base. My parasite is some ancient pig called an entelodont, which you may know as the "terror pig" which fits mine quite well. I grew up in some apartment in the slums, but when I was four I was dropped off at "Love'n'Cherish" orphanage. Don't really remember my ma'h physically, but I was told was that she had thick black hair like me. My ma'h was addicted to cocaine, and I know nothing about my dad. The only thing I remember about him is that he use to give me tootsie rolls the few times he visited. They fought a lot, and I do remember that they use to shout, a lot. I don't know if they ever got physical, since they always put me in my room. And that's all I can remember about my childhood before the orphanage.

Um, I'm highly allergic to coconut, but I only react to it if I ingest it. I can touch it, but once it comes into contact with my mouth I get a mild case of hives. Artificially flavored is alright, but if any trace of the real stuff is in it then no way. I hate snails with a passion. They're not gross, just evil little mother fu- freakers. More? I like long walks on the beach with a Mojito in my hand and surrounded by chicks. Next.

Q: Do you have any friends or other family members?
I made a lot of friends in the orphanage, and five of them practically became family. Names? Well, there was J.T., he was like the oldest brother of the group, kind of like our dad. He left the orphanage a couple years before I was able to, but once each of us left we all joined him and managed to form a "brotherhood" of sorts. Then there was Todd, crazy guy and daredevil. Broke his leg once when we were kids because he was trying to find a "cool way" to jump off a roof onto the ground. Josh was mostly the brains of our group, since he was pretty good with math and taught us how to conserve money better. But man could he street dance. Smartest street dancer this side of the river. Once teased that he used math to figure out his next move, and I have to say I believed him. *laughs* Let's see I have J.T, Josh, Todd, Mike! Mike was a good guy. He was the prankster and kind of a bad influence on me since I took some of those skills and put them to use. Although when it came to women he was the classiest mother fu- ah sorry, street talk- the classiest man you'd ever meet. Treated every woman like they were princesses. Before I became an infected he was datin' this girl named Lydia, beautiful lady but fiesty. She wasn't one of those girls who would flip when their man spoke to another women, no, but she would try and fight his fights if he got into trouble. Matt and Lydia were the same age as J.T., so Lydia was like our mom. Met her years before I left the orphanage and she spoiled me rotten as a kid. Then there was Jared. *he starts laughing* Oh man, he was more of a lady's man than Matt. Had girls over all the time, but he always went for the rich girls, who turned their noses away once they saw how poor he was. Starstruck dude, but he always treated them respectfully. Never once shouted back at a girl while she was screaming at him. Jared was always a hard worker though and was the guardian of the group. Anyone came to mess with us, he was right in the front lines.

Q: Interesting, but keep your answers a bit shorter. We're short on time.
Ah, sorry sir.

Q: Can you tell me more about your parasite?
*silent for a bit* Eh, not something I really want to talk about. I absolutely hate my parasite, and he knows it. Named him Ebbe, because apparently you need to name it so people know who it is. The parasite is a dumb thing who forgets things within a day. He also mumbles a lot; gets angry a lot. When I first came to the base they had to lock me up for quite a while because the damn thing kept coming out... Can we skip this, please?

Q: Alright. Do you have any new friends?
...I think I detect a bit of bitterness in that question. Anyway, yes, I do. Made quite a few new friends once I was finally able to get my own living quarters. I've met Pris or "lil' shorty", Ava, nicest person you'll ever meet. Nitzah... crazy woman. Funny, but unpredictable. There's some others I've only come into contact with once or twice. I've also met Xena... but I don't think she's interested in being friends. I think she'd cut my hand off if I waved it in greeting. Good teacher, but I'm winding up in the medical bay as much as I use to. Mint practically knows me from the inside out she's patched me up so much. I'm like the medical bay regular.

Q: Do you have any crushes?
Oh, heh, not yet. *nervously rubs at his sternum* There's a lot of nice gals here, but I think they're all taken. Ah well, no one would want a guy who can't even control his parasite very well.

Q: Have you gotten into any fights?
I get into a fight at least three times a week because of my damn parasite. It's like... a black coil that you can't get out of. The only way I can get out is if someone literally beats him into submission, which is how I end up in the medical bay. As an F.Y.I., I hate fighting. Despise it. When I was un-infected my gang use to run from fights, but we teased the opposing gang all the way because they could never catch us once we climbed to the rooftops. Bonus of learning parkour. But, yeah... *slumps down in seat* Next question.

Q: Are there certain things that annoy you?
Like my parasite? Yeah. Pretty much the only thing that annoys me anymore. *leans back in seat* Any happier questions? I don't want to think on the negative.

Q: Alright, any likes?
Ah, much better. I am a sucker for tootsie rolls. Make me drool like a rabid animal, jus', not down the face. Also love parkouring, although I haven't done it in a while because of my private training lessons. I also go spear fishing. Was the best in the brotherhood, not to brag or nuttun, er, anything. Heh, street talkin' again. Grew up playing basketball, so the game is practically a part of my soul I love it so much. Also love to play field hockey, and street dancing. Back then my gang would occasionally run into this one friendly gang and we use to have dance battles to see who would own this certain abandoned block for a week. There was nothing in the buildings since they were all gutted out, but it was just a fun territory game. Also... I find I enjoy golf. Yeah, right? A big, street guy like me playing golf? Well, my gang never really had the money to play it, but at school for gym we had a few classes where we practiced how to hit a golf ball. After that some kids would occasionally break into the golf course in the city area, but we would only take the golf balls and one club for each person, and only make a second run if the club breaks. Yeah, I know, stealing is bad, but that rich country club had so many things in it I don't think they ever knew anything was missing.

Q: Do you like to talk a lot?
Hey, you said you wanted an interview. I'm just answering. Wait, is that camera behind you recording?! WHAT? Gah! Delete that thing! You can't? Then they'll know about the cockroaches! DAMN.

Q: Any closing statements?
*leans forward and points at camera* Trevor triple-dog dared me to do it.

*video cuts off with a girl screaming outside the door about large roaches in the women's bathroom and Carth booking it out of the room*