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Published: 2005-01-18 22:11:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 604; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 52
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Description
Is it alright to cryFresh from the womb
When you are the apple
Of every eye in the room
A little wail
Is never repremanded
With anything less
Than a small bottle handed
Is it alright to cry
When you've just learned to walk
Fallen flat on your back
After perilous stalk
With mother and father
There to comfort your pain
Your sobs never bother
They never complain
Is it alright to cry
On your first day of school
When nap time is over
And you've broken a new rule
No one ever would dare
Turn their back on a child
So young, unprotected
Still thoughtless and wild
Is it alright to cry
When your grandfather dies
When the same salty tears
Fill everyone's eyes
Holding on to memories
Just tinged with regret
'Let her nose run,
She's not grown yet.'
Is it alright to cry
When a friend is just gone
No goodbye, no apology
Simply 'moved on'
When you wipe your eyes
And think back on those years
Suddenly this becomes
Your greatest fear
Is it alright to cry
When you just feel alone
When, by medical standards,
You are full grown
When people have troubles
And no times for yours
And you just want to talk
But they say you're a bore
Is it alright to cry
When you're addicted
To something so good
But at the same time, wicked
You've made your mistakes
And exausted your story
Those 'fake tears' are seen
As an attempt for glory
Is it alright to cry
Tell me, when should I stop?
I'll just lock it away
Soak them up with a mop
Is it alright to cry
When you're all that I need
But with this pain you keep causing
I'd rather just bleed
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Comments: 11
LinkinLuver13 [2005-02-04 21:57:16 +0000 UTC]
Very beautiful work, though it seems sort of repetitive nearing the end. It's alright to cry. I just wish more people would realize that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sleeper-Desolate In reply to LinkinLuver13 [2005-02-04 22:04:03 +0000 UTC]
Yeah... thank you. I sort of lost my creative... control at the end. It was just about what I was trying to say, no more carefully crafted metaphor.
Thank you very much for the comment! And I wholeheartedly agree with you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
poetic-abortion [2005-01-21 04:29:37 +0000 UTC]
"When the same salty tears
Fill everyone's eyes
Holding on to memories
Just tinged with regret
'Let her nose run,
She's not grown yet.'"
that part is so beautiful i love it. very very much.
and the ending came as a shock to me
i thought it was magnificent. a perfect ending. unexpected, but understandable.
the ending made me jolt and want to cry.
beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sleeper-Desolate In reply to poetic-abortion [2005-01-21 13:06:11 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much for the comment. I was just thinking about that piece this morning.
Glad to hear that you enjoyed it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
poetic-abortion In reply to Sleeper-Desolate [2005-01-24 04:04:37 +0000 UTC]
no problem beautiful work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Leherae [2005-01-20 00:24:32 +0000 UTC]
Beautiful...absolutely beautiful...I do believe this is one of your best!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sleeper-Desolate In reply to Leherae [2005-01-20 16:38:48 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much!
And thank you also for the favourite!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
urlilpixie [2005-01-19 03:39:44 +0000 UTC]
I try not to cry, or to wait till I'm alone. And then it seems perfectly futile and pathetic, because then I'm alone with my reprimanding mind, reminding me that my life and "suffering" are nothing compared to those of others...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sleeper-Desolate In reply to urlilpixie [2005-01-19 05:22:38 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I feel exactly the way that you do. I wish that things would change...
And thank you so much for the !!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Drowning-Sun [2005-01-19 01:56:11 +0000 UTC]
Crying is never wrong, it's how the species expresses the most extreme emotion. At the same time this simple thing can stand for so much Joy, Pain, and many others. Teardrops are the fuel of life.
The Poem was very well structured and you Rhymes are immpecable, I love this!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sleeper-Desolate In reply to Drowning-Sun [2005-01-19 02:31:41 +0000 UTC]
That was beautiful... 'tears are the fuel of life'... very eloquently put.
I'm very glad that you liked this... and thank you for the Favourite!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0








