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Sleeper-Desolate — __Maybe
Published: 2005-02-12 06:43:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 395; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 5
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Description
When I fall asleep, I'd like to say you're all I seeAnd I could speak about the times your eyes captivate me
In the glow of being near you I feel like I am finally free
But when I'm alone you're only maybe
I'd like to talk about the way your hair falls on your face
And I could tell you 'bout the way I dream of just one warm embrace
When I see her by your side, I wish I could take her place
But tonight you're just a maybe
Maybe I could love you
Maybe we could be
Maybe you could be the one
To complete me
Maybe I could save you
Make you feel so free
Maybe it's destiny
Only maybe
I'd like to say I dream of your smile
Cause it illuminates my life, but only for awhile
Pictures of your shining face I would compile
But I feel like only maybe
Now I'd love to feel your lips
Brush against my fingertips
Drink you up in endless sips
But you're fading into maybe
Maybe I could love you
Maybe we could be
Maybe you could be the one
To complete me
Maybe I could save you
Make you feel so free
Maybe it's destiny
Only, only
Only for a little while
Only when I see your smile
The happiness inside my heart
Just fades away when we part
It's only maybe
Maybe I could love you
Maybe we could be
Maybe you could be the one
Could you complete me?
Maybe I could save you
Make us feel so free
Maybe it's destiny
Only maybe
Maybe I could love you
Maybe we could be
Maybe you could be the one
To complete me
Maybe I could save you
Make you feel so free
Maybe it's destiny
Only maybe
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Only maybe
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You're only maybe
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Only maybe
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Could you complete me?
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Comments: 12
I love the idea of this one, it takes a common theme and twists it just enough so that it can still be recognized, but is VERY different. Well-done, bravo on that. Lines like
"When I fall asleep, I'd like to say you're all I see" and
"I'd like to say I dream of your smile" really bring out the theme without beating it to death.
In a couple of places, this falls into cliche a bit, but mostly it's a fresh take on an old topic and I really like it. Good job! I'd love to hear it someday...tell me when you put out your first album
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:d Wow... thank you! 
Some bits were cliche, and as I'm reading it over I'm grimmacing at bits. 
I'd love to put out an indie CD for kicks, because my voice isn't any great shakes at all. 
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Heh you're welcome, I believe in comments that are somewhat useful, I'm glad someone appreciates them.
I know what you mean about rhyming and laziness, I get in that trouble a lot lol.
Huzzah for guitar players! Stringsters, UNITE! 
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YAY! Guitar is so amazing!
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Hmmm...*counts on fingers* I've been playing for, um, 26 months ha ha. I'm a total addict, though - I just got done being sick for a week and being too weak to play my guitar was my biggest complaint, ha ha. (it's sad when throwing up isn't all that bad, except as a sign that you can't play guitar...)
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Yeah, yeah, yeah...
i can see the goo goo dolls singing this!!!!, it has a real pop rock sound to it.
very very good....as usual
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"...Now I'd love to feel your lips
Brush against my fingertips
Drink you up in endless sips
But you're fading into maybe..."
Beautiful...that was my favorite part. Keep up the good work, kid...I love your works.
Oh...and as a side note....
CALL ME DAMMIT 
And good job, again.
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Oh wow.
A bit too pop-ish for me, but I could definitely hear it. It works really well.
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Yeah, it is sort of pop-ish. But it still sounds nice. 
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there are rhyming thesauruses online
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