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sorentense β Spock's Ten Commandments
Published: 2009-08-11 01:39:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 4755; Favourites: 82; Downloads: 8
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1. I am Spock. Thou shalt remember this and not refer to me as 'the grouchy dude with pointy ears'.2. Thou shalt not mock my Vulcan hand salute. It is NOT funny.
3. Honor my mother, or thou shalt regret it.
4. Those pictures of Uhura were planted in my cabin by Dr. McCoy. Thou shalt stop writing fanfics based on this false information.
5. Thou shalt not force me to do a mind meld with any rodents, tribble, monkeys, or other ridiculous animals.
6. Thou shalt not 'huggle' me. Not only is this not really a word, but it is ridiculous, annoying, illogical, and disruptive.
7. I do NOT love your random Mary Sue*. Learn to accept this, and stop writing fluff about me.
8. Thou shalt NEVER slash pair me with either the Captain or Dr. McCoy (and especially not both of them). If thou hast watched the show, thou knowest how illogical this is.
9. Thou shalt not write anything in which my human half separates from my Vulcan half and wreaks havoc aboard the Enterprise.
10. Thou shalt not imply that Dr. McCoy is more handsome, intelligent, or competent than I am. Not only is this completely false, but the doctor is quite insufferable without your help.
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Comments: 235
Spock wants me to check and see if his assassins have gotten to you yet.
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Now what about Khan? Can you explain your actions, Mr. Spock?
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He probably can. But the author is a heathen who never saw the movies, so she cannot produce his answer.
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thank you for bringing some logic into the star trek fanbase. Sometimes I'd just like to search star trek spock on DA without seeing him in a 3 way with Kirk and McCoy (not a homophobe just don't like it when people take 2 characters who obviously have no romantic involvement and putting them together it annoys me with guys and girls together... long story short I don't like random shipping)Β
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Haha, thanks! Yeah, those ships never made sense to me, either. Spock/Uhura I could see, though.
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I know right I mean Kirk is by definition a womanizer for Spock it would be illogical to have a relationship with someone who would be unable to prolong his genetic line, and McCoy has a daughter an ex wife and several girlfriends
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captain these fangirls are most illogical... from what I have gathered much like the sand-bats of Manark IV they appear to be harmless until they attack. Their first offensive strategy appears to be some kind of sonic weapon known colloquially as a squee, then they will attempt to aggresively tackle their victim in what is known as a glomp. Their final form of attack is in writing fan fictions where character's act completely unlike their actual selves often pairing with Mary Sue characters. I am unclear as to how they communicate but I believe they use broken fragments of the old earth Japanese language.
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OMG if I couls favorite this twice I would in an instant!!!!
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So, number 10 is pretty much a glorified version of "I'm better than Dr. McCoy in all ways possible and if you think otherwise, you're illogical,"?Β
This is hilarious, btw.
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So we can ship you with anyone other than the Captain or McCoy?
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I object to being "shipped."
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What about coupled? Or Paired?! Or place on blind dates??
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Absolutely not.
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Ok then. Although your answer is highly illogical
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Shipping is highly illogical.
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I don't know. 
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I love this. Spot on. I agree 100 %. I will go add you to my watch list, now.
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Oh, thanks! I'm so glad you agree; poor Spock is greatly disgruntled, and it took a lot of courage (and alcohol) for him to admit it.
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sounds like a tough job getting him to admit it... if you need more romulan ale thinkgeek is the place to go
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A-freaking-Men. I am thrilled to no end about the new fans flooding in thanks to the reboot, but I think they all need to be issued with a copy of this. Particularly 8; you wouldn't believe the number of times I've been told by people who have never seen a single episode or even an original crew movie that I'm a blind prude for not knowing Jim and Spock are gay for each other. The fact that there has been more than one is a source of great depression, frankly. Anyway, very cool, both in utility and wit.
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Hahaha, thank you. I think even movie Spock would have said some of these (although they skipped his love-hate friendship with McCoy, which was sad). Number 8, yes. I haven't met anyone who contests 8 yet, but I don't go to a lot of discussion boards. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it so much!
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Spock, Im gonna do this just to irk you. *HUGGLE*
Spock: Get off me. Huggle is not even a real word.
Okay, if u don't like huggles, then i will do this. *GLOMP*
Spock: ...How did I miss that? *rewrite*
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Hehehe, true. I did forget to mention glomping. 
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Hehehe~~ Just goes to show ya, everything (almost) has a loophole~ Even with Mr. Spock~~
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I don't think Spock recognizes loopholes.
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Omg o3o Seriously??? x)
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he may be half human, but he has to show feeling, even denial, once in a while~~
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aw spocky. 6 and 7 just completely ruined my plans for this weekend.
but 9 gave me a strangely fascinating story idea.
10 i shall obey without further order >)
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You and half the other folks who've commented! 
I'd be very surprised to find 9 actually hadn't been done yet...
I don't obey 10. 
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aw poor spocky. i shall huggle him.
*rules were made to be broken*
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