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Description
The English language can be so damn frustrating sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, there are uncountable little gems that jump out at you every so often, and I love them to death, but they're just so few and far between. Most of the time it's fairly simple to get a point across, though, and so usually writing is easy if you know what you want to say.

Sometimes, though, it's as hard as a brick, a diamond, a steel wall, to get what you really want to say across. Anything complex you have to use multiple words, arranging them precariously so that the delicate and unpredictable connotations swing your way and somehow form into something greater than their own definitions.

I must admit that I can usually do this with a bit of effort. I know a lot of words, I've got a lot of those gems up my sleeve, and I can break them out as needed.

But not with you.

I can't describe it; literally, I can't do it. The way I feel when I think about you—about us—just can't be put into any words I know. Not even if I try to stack a tower of poetic deliberations, arranging each one just so, so that it will come close to the full extent of what I'm trying to say.

And love just doesn't cut it. It works as a fall-back, a catch-all, something one can say and the other will know what the one means. A reverse euphemism. It works, yes, but in the same way it doesn't. I'm a poet; I don't want to stop there. I want to find it—the way to say exactly what I mean, in the fullest sense, without any filter of ambiguity or vagueness. Clear-cut, textbook, no doubt possible.

I don't know why...I guess it's because I want to tell you. I want to be able to put down on a page exactly—exactly—what I mean to say, what I feel, this emotion that so many people lump into “love” because they just don't know any other way to say it.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I feel like if I can't completely express my feelings to you then there's no way for me to be sure you know just how much I do care about you, and how much you mean to me.

I don't care if it takes a hundred thousand words, or if it takes just one. I want to know what I have to do to make it a hundred percent indisputable what I feel.

This is what's frustrating; there's only so many words in the English language, and unless there's one I haven't come across yet, one of those precious jewels of language, that can perfectly sum up everything I feel, or at least give me some kind of foothold on which to build something that can, I'm going to have to keep wrestling with it until I eke out some kind of pattern, some kind of blueprint to a perfect match of the missing words in my heart.

You know what I wish most? I wish there was something more than love to describe it. It needs another tier. In Spanish they have three: gustar, a crush; querer, a familial affection; and amar, the highest and deepest level.

If there was something like that in English, some word X that could just say everything at once and mean something like love but even further than that, that would be perfect.

Then I could say to you, simply, “I X you.”

And you could smile, blush, and tell me “I X you too.”

Description
The English language can be so damn frustrating sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, there are uncountable little gems that jump out at you every so often, and I love them to death, but they're just so few and far between. Most of the time it's fairly simple to get a point across, though, and so usually writing is easy if you know what you want to say.

Sometimes, though, it's as hard as a brick, a diamond, a steel wall, to get what you really want to say across. Anything complex you have to use multiple words, arranging them precariously so that the delicate and unpredictable connotations swing your way and somehow form into something greater than their own definitions.

I must admit that I can usually do this with a bit of effort. I know a lot of words, I've got a lot of those gems up my sleeve, and I can break them out as needed.

But not with you.

I can't describe it; literally, I can't do it. The way I feel when I think about you—about us—just can't be put into any words I know. Not even if I try to stack a tower of poetic deliberations, arranging each one just so, so that it will come close to the full extent of what I'm trying to say.

And love just doesn't cut it. It works as a fall-back, a catch-all, something one can say and the other will know what the one means. A reverse euphemism. It works, yes, but in the same way it doesn't. I'm a poet; I don't want to stop there. I want to find it—the way to say exactly what I mean, in the fullest sense, without any filter of ambiguity or vagueness. Clear-cut, textbook, no doubt possible.

I don't know why...I guess it's because I want to tell you. I want to be able to put down on a page exactly—exactly—what I mean to say, what I feel, this emotion that so many people lump into “love” because they just don't know any other way to say it.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I feel like if I can't completely express my feelings to you then there's no way for me to be sure you know just how much I do care about you, and how much you mean to me.

I don't care if it takes a hundred thousand words, or if it takes just one. I want to know what I have to do to make it a hundred percent indisputable what I feel.

This is what's frustrating; there's only so many words in the English language, and unless there's one I haven't come across yet, one of those precious jewels of language, that can perfectly sum up everything I feel, or at least give me some kind of foothold on which to build something that can, I'm going to have to keep wrestling with it until I eke out some kind of pattern, some kind of blueprint to a perfect match of the missing words in my heart.

You know what I wish most? I wish there was something more than love to describe it. It needs another tier. In Spanish they have three: gustar, a crush; querer, a familial affection; and amar, the highest and deepest level.

If there was something like that in English, some word X that could just say everything at once and mean something like love but even further than that, that would be perfect.

Then I could say to you, simply, “I X you.”

And you could smile, blush, and tell me “I X you too.”