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StringOfCurses — When it rains..
Published: 2012-05-12 13:19:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 283; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 9
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Description Nothing is forever..
Neither joy, nor pain...
Neither rain, nor shine
Everything continues to change until it stops
All feelings are transient and all have a purpose
Remembering joy is vital when you are in pain
Pain reminds you to enjoy the moments of joy
The rain and the sun work together
Our feelings do the same....
So now.. I hold onto the fact that it hurts
but it won't hurt forever so I may sleep tonight
And tomorrow might be slightly better
And some day soon I will wake and feel joy
And I will really feel it because the hurt helped me
It helped me move forward, it helped..
It helped me understand that life requires change
It helped me see the things I should be glad for
When the rain falls it waters me
And when the sun shines I blossom..
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Comments: 29

Footnoting [2013-02-04 00:38:27 +0000 UTC]

Oh yes it is really poetry . . . darn right it is really poetry . . . it just hit me in the deepest part of my heart and I can assure you, only poetry is allowed to do that. Prose just doesn't do it for me. This is poetry . . . and not only it is poetry, it is the poetry I needed to hear today, and for the last month, as I deal with the loss of a lover.

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StringOfCurses In reply to Footnoting [2013-02-04 00:52:36 +0000 UTC]

Oh........... Well I hope it helped a little and didn't hit too much of a nerve there... I hope you find your sunshine soon x

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Footnoting In reply to StringOfCurses [2013-02-04 01:10:18 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. It's been rough. We broke up on Jan 2. It had not lasted too long, just short of a month, but it had been very intense. What I did not know, when I let her into my heart, was that she was a recovering heroin addict. (One would never have thought that, to see her.) There was a lot of inconsistencies that began to turn up in our conversations, and in our time together. (My daughter, who is an LPN, thinks my lover began to relapse either just before or just after she and I met.) She kept most of her life hidden from me, although I was up front in all things with her. On January 2, the final deception proved to be too much.

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StringOfCurses In reply to Footnoting [2013-02-04 02:19:40 +0000 UTC]

Awwwww.... that is rough.... and sometimes you can feel very intensely for someone you have not known for very long in terms of time as we understand it, but there are people you will meet in life who you *know* you just...... know... time is no guarantee of understanding someone, you can be with someone for years and not know them or be right for them, but you might meet someone and instantly feel a connection with. So I don't think that has any bearing on how you felt for her... hope that each day brings new hope and improvements for you.. x

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Footnoting In reply to StringOfCurses [2013-02-04 02:23:54 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the kind words. Actually, today, enjoying such beautiful photographs as you have shared, I spent very little time thinking about her. I have had to realize that she loved her addiction, and her subtle deceptions, much more than she loved me. My daughter thinks that my lover and I were both in love with the romance; but I wanted it too much and she did not want it enough.

Your beauty, however, sure does help me concentrate on beauty rather than on sorrow.

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StringOfCurses In reply to Footnoting [2013-02-04 02:29:41 +0000 UTC]

YVW..
It's usually the case with addiction, that the addiction matters more than people, more than the person themselves in fact :/ You will always be second or third to an addict.
TYVM, it's a lovely thing to say x

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Footnoting In reply to StringOfCurses [2013-02-04 02:41:13 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I learned that the hard way. When we first began our friendship, she had told me she was a single mother to two boys. That was true. But she did not bother to tell me, until several days into it, that one child had been taken, by her parents (who are pricks anyhow) in a custody battle, and that, in January, she was supposed to go to court to see if they got permanent custody. (I was out of her life by the time the court date came around, so I do not know.) She had led me to believe that her recovery attempt had been started, in part, for her kids' sake, but then I found out (again, after I was out of her life), that she was arrested for possession just two months before her younger son's second birthday.

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StringOfCurses In reply to Footnoting [2013-02-04 13:20:29 +0000 UTC]

OML.... very much the hard way.... I have a friend who had a similar problem but it lasted longer and ended much worse for him, so at least you found out sooner, rather than later x

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Footnoting In reply to StringOfCurses [2013-02-04 13:33:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for your reply to what must have seemed like a long and tedious story. Yes, I did find out sooner than later, and have probably, in some way, benefited from that. My head and my gut tell me it would have never worked out, but my heart, having already been given, does not seem to get the message yet. I do not know how to stop loving her.

My daughter, who seems to be wiser than I am in these matters, believes that I wanted too much from the relationship, and my lover did not want enough. A proof of this is that, for 48 hours after the break up, she had access to my phone number before I changed it, and she did nothing to try to resume communication. Also, she and my daughter had become friends, and had exchanged phone numbers, but she never called my daughter to help with a reconciliation, or to give an opinion on what happened. It was like she---my lover---had no problem ending the relationship, and does not miss it. Unlike me. I think she knew why I ended it, and I think she knew the specific deception that became the last straw, but she did nothing to try to restore or recover the relationship, and that hurt just as much as the initial loss.

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StringOfCurses In reply to Footnoting [2013-02-04 14:46:51 +0000 UTC]

Not all long and tedious...
You know... I strongly believe that the people who do not bring *gifts* bring lessons... which in the end amount to the same thing... everything happens for a reason even when it takes a long time for the lesson to be realised, especially when all you feel is pain... x

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Footnoting In reply to StringOfCurses [2013-02-04 15:14:38 +0000 UTC]

I sure do hope that is true. I don't doubt your word; I simply doubt my own situation.

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StringOfCurses In reply to Footnoting [2013-02-04 15:17:08 +0000 UTC]

I can understand that.... but you have been through stuff before and are still here.... so hold onto to that, always hold on to whatever positive you can lay your hands on... x

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Footnoting In reply to StringOfCurses [2013-02-04 15:47:31 +0000 UTC]

You are right. Before this, I had experienced four great loves, but the end of each of them was nothing compared to this one. I try to keep clinging to the positives, but, in this case, not too many of them seem to be turning up. This whole experience *feels* like something I have never encountered. The closest literary precedent I can find is Shakespeare's play, Troilus and Cressida, and that is a darn poor example.

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StringOfCurses In reply to Footnoting [2013-02-04 17:50:09 +0000 UTC]

Then you need to find the lesson... The one that you haven't learned yet and everything will make sense, why she came into your life and why she left.... x

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Ready2fight4You [2012-08-07 01:13:41 +0000 UTC]

if you Loved for no reason , your love well continue
because loving for a reason vanishes when the reason vanish .......

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StringOfCurses In reply to Ready2fight4You [2012-08-07 01:51:51 +0000 UTC]

x

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darksoultea2 [2012-07-29 11:52:03 +0000 UTC]

" The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all" ~ Mulan

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StringOfCurses In reply to darksoultea2 [2012-07-29 11:59:00 +0000 UTC]

true xxx

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darksoultea2 In reply to StringOfCurses [2012-07-29 12:09:49 +0000 UTC]

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StringOfCurses In reply to darksoultea2 [2012-07-29 12:11:56 +0000 UTC]

x

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carletto47 [2012-05-12 13:22:31 +0000 UTC]

Beautifully written and emotional
a lovely read.

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StringOfCurses In reply to carletto47 [2012-05-12 13:23:55 +0000 UTC]

TY, I can only write when I'm sad

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carletto47 In reply to StringOfCurses [2012-05-12 13:27:57 +0000 UTC]



You are welcome that's where the best poetry comes from the heart.

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StringOfCurses In reply to carletto47 [2012-05-12 13:31:49 +0000 UTC]

Yep... most of the stuff I wrote is lost now... still everything happens for a reason, right?

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carletto47 In reply to StringOfCurses [2012-05-12 13:35:42 +0000 UTC]

Yes may be a reason to write again

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StringOfCurses In reply to carletto47 [2012-05-12 13:40:24 +0000 UTC]

Maybe...

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carletto47 In reply to StringOfCurses [2012-05-12 13:41:06 +0000 UTC]

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StringOfCurses In reply to carletto47 [2012-05-12 13:42:53 +0000 UTC]

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carletto47 In reply to StringOfCurses [2012-05-12 13:45:00 +0000 UTC]

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