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Twilight Rewrite: A Bromance Tale

Chapter 1:
Deer's blood again. I'm thankful that we can hunt in peace without catching the attention of humans, but would it kill Carl to seek out other game?
I guess I shouldn't complain. At least there isn't a shortage of blood in this hilly forest. And to be honest, I really don't mind being a Mortalis Misericordia, a "human sympathizer". The term is used as an insult among vampires, but honestly, it's a good alternative if you want to stay alive, and more importantly, stay a secret from humans. Alice once joked that it made us "vegetarians", as we only feed on vegetarians, such as deer. Of course, that would only make sense if we only drank things like tomato juice. Which doesn't work, by the way. Blood is the most readily available source of life force, which is what vampires truly feed upon. Vegetables simply don't have the required life force, or at least not enough to bother with.

Human vegetables might, but only a fledgeling would be foolish enough to try something like that.

With breakfast done, it was time for school. After being around for a century, there's really no academic need for it, but Carl insists that it's to keep up appearances, and since he's the Master of the coven, whatever he says, goes. Besides, going to school meant that the day would be nice and cloudy. Contrary to popular myth, vampires don't avoid sunlight because they'd catch on fire. We avoid it because we....sparkle. Thanks to the crystalline properties of our granite-hard skin, whenever we come into contact with sunlight, we sparkle and glitter like a Lisa Frank sticker. I'm still convinced that vampires stay out of the light, not because of self-preservation, but out of embarrassment. Rosalie and Alice are perfectly fine with it, so all the more power to them.

The only thing that would make cloudy days better is if those damn Quileute weren't around. Especially that mangy dog, Jacob. I swear, he only goes to Forks High instead of a school on his reservation to annoy me. As you might have guessed, vampires and werewolves don't really get along. At first, it was because we both competed for humanity as a food source, and later on, we struggled against each other for territory. In this modern day and age, both sides have mellowed somewhat, but that doesn't mean we dislike each other any less. Sure, there have been some exceptions; one vampire managed to turn a werewolf victim, and somehow created a hybrid. It was a complete disaster for both the vampire coven and the werewolf coven that attacked the victim. The two of them are most likely still around, but thankfully they're nowhere near this area. That catalyst for catastrophe can stay on the other side of the world, thank you very much.

Anyway, the day would be perfect if Jacob's long, unkempt hair and stupid big nose weren't there to sully it.

As we got to the school, a gaggle of students were gathered at the front, all in a tizzy over something. As we got closer, the reason became apparent: a new student had arrived. It was just some plain, rather unremarkable girl. I didn't even bother to comment; the less contact with humans, the better, I always say.

Little did I know that I would soon have no choice in the matter.

Description
Twilight Rewrite: A Bromance Tale

Chapter 1:
Deer's blood again. I'm thankful that we can hunt in peace without catching the attention of humans, but would it kill Carl to seek out other game?
I guess I shouldn't complain. At least there isn't a shortage of blood in this hilly forest. And to be honest, I really don't mind being a Mortalis Misericordia, a "human sympathizer". The term is used as an insult among vampires, but honestly, it's a good alternative if you want to stay alive, and more importantly, stay a secret from humans. Alice once joked that it made us "vegetarians", as we only feed on vegetarians, such as deer. Of course, that would only make sense if we only drank things like tomato juice. Which doesn't work, by the way. Blood is the most readily available source of life force, which is what vampires truly feed upon. Vegetables simply don't have the required life force, or at least not enough to bother with.

Human vegetables might, but only a fledgeling would be foolish enough to try something like that.

With breakfast done, it was time for school. After being around for a century, there's really no academic need for it, but Carl insists that it's to keep up appearances, and since he's the Master of the coven, whatever he says, goes. Besides, going to school meant that the day would be nice and cloudy. Contrary to popular myth, vampires don't avoid sunlight because they'd catch on fire. We avoid it because we....sparkle. Thanks to the crystalline properties of our granite-hard skin, whenever we come into contact with sunlight, we sparkle and glitter like a Lisa Frank sticker. I'm still convinced that vampires stay out of the light, not because of self-preservation, but out of embarrassment. Rosalie and Alice are perfectly fine with it, so all the more power to them.

The only thing that would make cloudy days better is if those damn Quileute weren't around. Especially that mangy dog, Jacob. I swear, he only goes to Forks High instead of a school on his reservation to annoy me. As you might have guessed, vampires and werewolves don't really get along. At first, it was because we both competed for humanity as a food source, and later on, we struggled against each other for territory. In this modern day and age, both sides have mellowed somewhat, but that doesn't mean we dislike each other any less. Sure, there have been some exceptions; one vampire managed to turn a werewolf victim, and somehow created a hybrid. It was a complete disaster for both the vampire coven and the werewolf coven that attacked the victim. The two of them are most likely still around, but thankfully they're nowhere near this area. That catalyst for catastrophe can stay on the other side of the world, thank you very much.

Anyway, the day would be perfect if Jacob's long, unkempt hair and stupid big nose weren't there to sully it.

As we got to the school, a gaggle of students were gathered at the front, all in a tizzy over something. As we got closer, the reason became apparent: a new student had arrived. It was just some plain, rather unremarkable girl. I didn't even bother to comment; the less contact with humans, the better, I always say.

Little did I know that I would soon have no choice in the matter.