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Published: 2011-03-27 06:41:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 207; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
Summer always brought me feelings of endless freedom. My whole life was pretty much endless and free. I grew up fast, always trying to slow myself down, but it never happened. I was in eighth grade hanging out with people in high school, smoking by the time I was 13 and drinking around the same age. My friends taught me to use the word fuck every other phrase and most of the time it wasn't even called for.Being with them though, made me cool, made me feel some of sense of security. They were headed nowhere and I was ready to just jump in the car and go for the ride too. We would cruise around with the windows down, the music loud, the smoke filling the backseat and our lungs just as quickly as we could light the cigarette. The bass would protrude through the ear canal and almost rupture the drum.
There were nights that would pass that I didn't even know the time. I would just sit there on the beach, sipping on a beer, and listen to the sound of the waves. My friends would build a fire pit, make out with the girls they met that day wearing baggy sweatshirts over their bathing suits. I would just sit there, watching everyone. The girls were giggling, trying to impress the guys. The guys would tell stories that they thought would capture the attention of these girls they weren't even sure they would encounter again.
It was summer. No one ever knew if they would see people again. Summer was for meeting new people, experiencing new things, before heading back to school where you're forced into a plastic seat learning about why the Civil War was so important. And it never occurred to me that the information being taught to me wasn't going to be of use. There wasn't going to be some kind of life test about the war and I didn't care.
The only thing I kept thinking about was how the waves looked when they crashed onto the shore. Water was always something that fascinated me. It could have been just simple rain, but I would still sit back and watch it. It was the flow, the formation, the way it had different effects depending on its temperature. I love how rain from clouds was different from the rain from someone's eyes. Mind you, I didn't see or cry too many tears growing up. When I did happen to catch someone in the act of doing so, it was intriguing. I couldn't help, but watch.
Water was a place I wanted to be my entire life. I wanted to live on the water if it were possible. I would have given up my legs for fins any day if I had the chance. I just needed to find some evil octopus by the name of Ursula who wanted my voice for a pair of fins rather than legs.
"Whathca thinking?" some girl with redish hair sat next to me. She only came close enough to be near me, but not enough to touch me.
"Excuse me?" I looked at her, trying to catch glimpse of who she was, but the only light was the flicker of the flames from the fire pit.
One thing about her I didn't like, she didn't introduce herself. To be part of a person's thoughts without proper introduction could mean so many things. Me, being the person I was, I gave her a disapproving look. My eyes squinted, my eyebrows furrowed and I found myself inching away from her, playing with the beer bottle in between the tips of my index finger and my thumb.
"Who you here with?" she asked me. Sipping quickly, I kept my eyes on her. The way her hair was pulled back and the curls were shaping her face. Her skin was white and I could see the freckles coming through the fire's flames.
"Who are you?" My voice sharp and my disposition was certainly annoyed, bothered, turned off; all words that were negative.
"Chelsea." Holding out her hand, I looked down and I could see she chewed her nails. The skin around her fingers was just about nonexistent. Peering at her, I took her hand. It was soft, cold and slightly clammy.
"Shamus."
We sat there, looking at each other, but I found myself continuing to be disinterested, so I looked at the sand. Digging my feet into the white pebbles, watching people out of the corner of my eyes, I felt trapped. I was trapped by the urge to stay, the desire to go, the feeling in my stomach that told me to just walk away. I didn't though. I sat there, playing with the label on the bottle, nearly picking at the sticky glue that was left behind when the sticker was peeled off.
"Who you here with?"
"Some friends of mine…" short and sweet. I figured it would get her to just leave.
"High school?"
"Huh?"
"You in high school?"
"Yeah."
I lied. It was the first time I was approached by someone who was obviously older than me. I could see it in the way she presented herself. She was confident, she was headstrong, unwilling to give up.
"I'm going to be a junior this year. Then there is only one year left before I can go out and see the world."
"Me too."
Lied again.
"What are you doing after high school? Any plans?"
Shrugging, I kept my eyes on the ground. I really wanted to say, "Look, I haven't even started high school yet. Maybe when I get through with the first year, I can worry about that."
Composed. I just looked at her, only giving her 50% of sincerity, 75% avoidance. "No, not yet. I would like to see things, but I'm not sure where I'm headed yet."
Boring. So boring.
Could I not think of anything better? I decided if I kept it uninteresting and completely closed off, she would leave me alone so I could go back to thinking about the ocean, how I loved the way the moon would shine right off the waves. It was somehow magical. I wanted to contemplate how many people would be staring at the sky the same time I was, and perhaps we would make a wish on the same star, maybe even the same wish.
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Comments: 3
Den12 [2011-03-27 07:14:29 +0000 UTC]
Dude you have a talent for writing. I was so caught up in this, seems like a set up for a romance but I can't be sure. Wonderful job can't wait for the next part.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
surrender-myself In reply to Den12 [2011-03-27 14:12:21 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for thinking so. I should have some more up soon. It's a story I'm enjoying writing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1

