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  There’s no such thing as silence anymore. There hasn’t been since I was a child I don’t know when they showed up but they’re always here now always here and talking to me always whispering sometimes shouting sometimes singing Delilah sings she likes to sing sometimes. There’s no such thing as alone anymore. I’m never alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t have myself. I can’t have private thoughts. Sometimes I wonder how much of my thoughts is really me. Sometimes I wonder how much of me is me. How much is them. How much is my parents. How much is society. When it comes down to it, so little of myself really belongs to me.

            They tell me I’m theirs. That I’ll never escape them. They’re right. I know by now they’re right. The only way to be free is to die, but I don’t want to die. I’m too afraid. I’m a coward. They tell me that, too. Don’t run don’t run don’t fight us if you die we die don’t kill us you can’t coward you spineless trash you worthless shit. I’m not allowed to talk back. They don’t give me the opportunity to respond. They talk talk talk in my head all day and I just have to. Shut up and take it.

            They aren’t all bad. Well They aren’t all horrible. They don’t like me. They tell me I’m useless. Coward coward stupid boy stupid useless stupid coward Never be on your own never make it never be loved never be wanted. Delilah shushes them. She tells me stay hopeful and maybe someday. Says you’re young and you’ll learn maybe there’s hope. She’s like the mother I never had. Or a mother who wants me. Wouldn’t that be something. I gave her the name Delilah. I gave them all their names. I gave them faces, too. In school, I would fill the pages of my notebooks with their faces and their words just to get it out to prove they were there I wasn’t crazy it was easier this way if they were realer if they had faces names voices they’re real I’m not crazy! I didn’t make them I didn’t bring them here but they don’t go away.

            There’s only one I didn’t name. He had a name when He arrived. He’s the worst one… The others insult me degrade me push me and hurt my head… He’s the only one that actually makes threats. He scares me. He says he’ll hurt me, tells me to do things, tells me to hurt myself, to hurt other people. His voice is hard and harsh he’s a monster he’s so strong I feel like I can’t control myself against him. He tells me to do things and I have no choice anything I’ll do anything to get rid of him I ‘ll do anything to make him stop stop STOP! Leave me alone don’t hurt me don’t hurt me go away, Naetus go away don’t hurt me I’m sorry I’m sorry!!

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

  There’s no such thing as silence anymore. There hasn’t been since I was a child I don’t know when they showed up but they’re always here now always here and talking to me always whispering sometimes shouting sometimes singing Delilah sings she likes to sing sometimes. There’s no such thing as alone anymore. I’m never alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t have myself. I can’t have private thoughts. Sometimes I wonder how much of my thoughts is really me. Sometimes I wonder how much of me is me. How much is them. How much is my parents. How much is society. When it comes down to it, so little of myself really belongs to me.

            They tell me I’m theirs. That I’ll never escape them. They’re right. I know by now they’re right. The only way to be free is to die, but I don’t want to die. I’m too afraid. I’m a coward. They tell me that, too. Don’t run don’t run don’t fight us if you die we die don’t kill us you can’t coward you spineless trash you worthless shit. I’m not allowed to talk back. They don’t give me the opportunity to respond. They talk talk talk in my head all day and I just have to. Shut up and take it.

            They aren’t all bad. Well They aren’t all horrible. They don’t like me. They tell me I’m useless. Coward coward stupid boy stupid useless stupid coward Never be on your own never make it never be loved never be wanted. Delilah shushes them. She tells me stay hopeful and maybe someday. Says you’re young and you’ll learn maybe there’s hope. She’s like the mother I never had. Or a mother who wants me. Wouldn’t that be something. I gave her the name Delilah. I gave them all their names. I gave them faces, too. In school, I would fill the pages of my notebooks with their faces and their words just to get it out to prove they were there I wasn’t crazy it was easier this way if they were realer if they had faces names voices they’re real I’m not crazy! I didn’t make them I didn’t bring them here but they don’t go away.

            There’s only one I didn’t name. He had a name when He arrived. He’s the worst one… The others insult me degrade me push me and hurt my head… He’s the only one that actually makes threats. He scares me. He says he’ll hurt me, tells me to do things, tells me to hurt myself, to hurt other people. His voice is hard and harsh he’s a monster he’s so strong I feel like I can’t control myself against him. He tells me to do things and I have no choice anything I’ll do anything to get rid of him I ‘ll do anything to make him stop stop STOP! Leave me alone don’t hurt me don’t hurt me go away, Naetus go away don’t hurt me I’m sorry I’m sorry!!