d-zy [2005-12-29 16:49:17 +0000 UTC]

A sentence you should keep in mind.../
the thruth is REALLY hard to find./
So... if people tell you they don't lie.../
They already are./
but the thing the don't realise.../
those lies can stay as a scar./
But... noone will ever see.../
The wound that you will carry for eternity...//



ok

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happy-red-blood [2004-05-30 11:31:12 +0000 UTC]

this is more thoughts than it's a poem. meaning, i think you've got something there, but if you want it to be good, you need to sit down and really work on it. what i'm trying to say is that yoy've got the basics, but still not the poem. at least in my opinion.

and btw, you really should try and work with your self-worth. i know when you're down there, you dont want to get up, you just wanna be alone and perhaps even hurt yourself even more.. it becomes an attitude more than a mood. sorry if i'm wrong. i don't know you. that's just the impression i've got.

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redsephiroth [2004-05-28 22:50:09 +0000 UTC]

good structure, clear and to the point.

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kornskaterfreak [2004-02-22 17:44:32 +0000 UTC]

thats reallly awesome... Plus its very true...

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Elebridith16 [2004-01-27 17:12:52 +0000 UTC]

For your first piece this is really good, keep writing!

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