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TheWeakWriter — Subconsciousness
#literature #mind #past #poem #subconscious #subconsciousness #weeklychallenge #weeklyactivities
Published: 2016-09-22 23:02:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 239; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 0
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Description
Trust in the presentThe shape of a mind
Understand every incident
you're standing behind
An unfulfilled pact
A lingering thought
Might as well act
as the past that you fought
I might take a stand
My will might seem free
But the one in command
is the ten year old me
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Comments: 10
Wow my mind was just blown by how talented you are with words!
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You are too kind! Though, I really appreciate your compliment!
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Your welcome! You have the skills that I hope to achieve one day.
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Greetings!
We, The Writer Gang, would like to add your work to our group!
We are looking every day for writers, and seek to help them spread their works far and wide (For our art has fallen into obscurity).
If you would like to know more about us, please drop by our group! It is small at the moment, but is growing by the day with help from writers like you! ^^
We hope to hear from you soon!
~Wanderer Fehn
Ambassador of the Writer Gang
thewritergang.deviantart.com
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Sounds great! Never give up the search for writers!
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Welcome to the world of published poetry! You certainly got yourself off to a good start. It's nice and to-the-point, and I think the final two lines really put the entire piece into a new light; I read those lines and I see a mind in the past trying to keep the body from living in the present. It paints a battle of wills taking place to decide what will become of one being.
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Thanks a lot for the warm welcome, and the feedback! It felt natural to end it on those two lines, and it's interesting to see what others makes out of it. I will surely post more things in the future!
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Looking forward to it! I always do enjoy poems that allow me to think hard about what they mean and leave a lot of guessing open.
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That is the kind of poems I enjoy the most. The ones open for interpretation. Probably the kind I will stick to!
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