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Description
Timmy the Reaper
                 Created by Tyler Gates

Warning: This written series is overly ridiculous and may cause some readers to go "wtf". Oh, it also has some nasty themes and gore n' stuff too.
"Sweet Nightmares"
(o.o) Dream a little nightmare of me…

      Agent Shroom stands before an endless wall of notes involving the Reaper Case mixed with photos of documented victims. He hyperactivity darts his eyes along the wall, pointing at certain areas while he jitters his findings.
      "See!? There's definitely a connection here, definitely, I mean there are obvious hints! Not only that but I SAW it myself, I SAW it! Timmy the Reaper exists! Not only that, but there are clues here that make me believe that there's more than one. I mean by what I saw it was plain, sadistic butchery! No ifs, buts, penis, about it! They used some sort of magic to cover it, but it's still murder, and there can't be just one, it would take too long, I mean all the people who die in the world in just one day. No one reaper using those methods could kill all those people on their own! There's gotta be more, a league of reapers! A LEAGUE!"
      The agent catches his breath while he stares at Head-Agent RYE, who sits on a chair with a contemplating expression, finally replying with, "….So who the hell's she?" [(o.o) RYE's Hell Count: 11] RYE points to a pinned up picture of young woman in a kinky cat suit amongst the photos on the wall.
      Shroom quickly rips the photo down, "….Uhhh…. my girlfriend, anyway, SIR WE NEED TO STOP THE REAPERS!" [(o.o) Shroom's been playing too much Mass Effect I think ]
      "Sorry, what you say Shroom?" RYE's attention now on a portable player, watching Larry the Donkey's talk show, "…Hell, gotta respect this jackarse for tellin' it how it is." [(o.o) Hell Count: 12]

----------------------Later that night------------
      Outside the dark bedroom it rains cats and elephants while rumbling thunder quakes the sky. It's as if God had laryngitis and was talking to the earth with a raspy voice, making it hard for the earth to understand his order and so gave him the double-meat burger with crazy pickles, when he had asked for just the regular, sane kind. [(o.o) Are you feeling the intensity of the scene yet?]
      Anyway, so it's raining n shit as an old man, fast asleep in bed, snores like a truck while dreaming about the old days when he was a pixie princess. Suddenly he is woken up by a thud on his chest. His old crusty eyes open and stare upon a small, black-robed and hooded figure with bright scarlet eyes. His gaze fixated, he quivers in terror, "A-Are you …a nightmare?"
      The figure pulls its hood back, revealing the face of a little girl, with a perpetually unhappy expression, "The name's just Night, dipshit."
      "Night? Oh, that's a pretty nam-"The jagged-blade of her scythe penetrates the old man's gaping mouth mid-sentence, and impales right through the back of his skull with blood unnecessarily erupting like a pressurised pump all over.
      Slicing the scythe up through his skull and freeing it from the confines of bone, the little girl states with a moody tone, "And I'm a Reaper, dickhead. Consider yourself disembodied…hehe, I claim this kill." [(o.o) The lesson here kids, is that if you're going to be a little sadistic killer bitch, you got to have a cool name. Like, instead of Sarah, call yourself Spider, or Toaster, or if you're real badarse you might get away with Miss. Pink]
      Another figure then steps into the room - Timmy. Glancing at the scene, Scythe gives a childish complaint, "Heeeyyy~ That was our person to kill and stuff~ I DON'T LIKE YOU, WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS NOW!"
      Timmy sighs, "This isn't your domain Night, all Named in sector 78592947595.003-Rubber-Chicken, Beta is mine to disembody."
      Night huffs, "Well they're not making my lists long enough these days, so I get bored when I have no one to kill. So I thought I'd give you an unwanted hand and slaughter your people. But since you're not appreciative I'll go. You can sort this mess out, right?" Before Timmy can answer, the female reaper vanishes within a black vortex, leaving him to clean up.
     Timmy's face riddles with irritation, "I hate when she just vanishes like that."
     Scythe chuckles, "What a bitch~"

--------Onboard the Alien ship disguised as a floating elephant in space-------
      The abducted farmer, stark naked and bound with duct tape to a table, is surrounded by strange, obese grey aliens, which leak slime and appear as giant slugs. One alien speaks with a slurp sound, "Wei AR thee Obesians."
      The scruffy farmer yells in panic, "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME!?"
      He is answered by a second alien, "Welll, wei were goin tah stick ouR goglavolghs in your anUs cavity, but ouR plans hav changed…"
      The farmer sighs in relief, "Oh, thank God."
      "….OuR leadeR wus killed bi your eaRthanoid peoPles while he wus eating a wiener at one ov yah planetary cafeteria placez, cleverly disguised as a midget female." [(o.o) I told you that little girl was an alien, I told you! But no, you all thought I was crazy! CRAZY!!! Ahem…>.>]
      "Becuzz ov this, wei must now breed a NeW leader, and so ouR female must MaTe with you."
      The farmer stares wide-eyed upon the female Obesian as she is brought into the room, appearing as a gigantic slug covered in smelly ooze, with eight-hundred breasts.
      The farmer's mouth gapes open in shock, "Oh god….she's beautiful!" [(o.O)…]

To Be Disembodied…

(o.o) For those dumbshits who didn't get the reference under the title - allow me to make you less dumb…it's a reference to the 1930s song, "Dream a Little Dream of Me" popularly sung by Mama Cass. The title itself references the song, "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)", clever huh?
P.S. You'd be surprised how comfortable this straightjacket is…

:P (Lick) — Description
Timmy the Reaper
                 Created by Tyler Gates

Warning: This written series is overly ridiculous and may cause some readers to go "wtf". Oh, it also has some nasty themes and gore n' stuff too.
"Sweet Nightmares"
(o.o) Dream a little nightmare of me…

      Agent Shroom stands before an endless wall of notes involving the Reaper Case mixed with photos of documented victims. He hyperactivity darts his eyes along the wall, pointing at certain areas while he jitters his findings.
      "See!? There's definitely a connection here, definitely, I mean there are obvious hints! Not only that but I SAW it myself, I SAW it! Timmy the Reaper exists! Not only that, but there are clues here that make me believe that there's more than one. I mean by what I saw it was plain, sadistic butchery! No ifs, buts, penis, about it! They used some sort of magic to cover it, but it's still murder, and there can't be just one, it would take too long, I mean all the people who die in the world in just one day. No one reaper using those methods could kill all those people on their own! There's gotta be more, a league of reapers! A LEAGUE!"
      The agent catches his breath while he stares at Head-Agent RYE, who sits on a chair with a contemplating expression, finally replying with, "….So who the hell's she?" [(o.o) RYE's Hell Count: 11] RYE points to a pinned up picture of young woman in a kinky cat suit amongst the photos on the wall.
      Shroom quickly rips the photo down, "….Uhhh…. my girlfriend, anyway, SIR WE NEED TO STOP THE REAPERS!" [(o.o) Shroom's been playing too much Mass Effect I think ]
      "Sorry, what you say Shroom?" RYE's attention now on a portable player, watching Larry the Donkey's talk show, "…Hell, gotta respect this jackarse for tellin' it how it is." [(o.o) Hell Count: 12]

----------------------Later that night------------
      Outside the dark bedroom it rains cats and elephants while rumbling thunder quakes the sky. It's as if God had laryngitis and was talking to the earth with a raspy voice, making it hard for the earth to understand his order and so gave him the double-meat burger with crazy pickles, when he had asked for just the regular, sane kind. [(o.o) Are you feeling the intensity of the scene yet?]
      Anyway, so it's raining n shit as an old man, fast asleep in bed, snores like a truck while dreaming about the old days when he was a pixie princess. Suddenly he is woken up by a thud on his chest. His old crusty eyes open and stare upon a small, black-robed and hooded figure with bright scarlet eyes. His gaze fixated, he quivers in terror, "A-Are you …a nightmare?"
      The figure pulls its hood back, revealing the face of a little girl, with a perpetually unhappy expression, "The name's just Night, dipshit."
      "Night? Oh, that's a pretty nam-"The jagged-blade of her scythe penetrates the old man's gaping mouth mid-sentence, and impales right through the back of his skull with blood unnecessarily erupting like a pressurised pump all over.
      Slicing the scythe up through his skull and freeing it from the confines of bone, the little girl states with a moody tone, "And I'm a Reaper, dickhead. Consider yourself disembodied…hehe, I claim this kill." [(o.o) The lesson here kids, is that if you're going to be a little sadistic killer bitch, you got to have a cool name. Like, instead of Sarah, call yourself Spider, or Toaster, or if you're real badarse you might get away with Miss. Pink]
      Another figure then steps into the room - Timmy. Glancing at the scene, Scythe gives a childish complaint, "Heeeyyy~ That was our person to kill and stuff~ I DON'T LIKE YOU, WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS NOW!"
      Timmy sighs, "This isn't your domain Night, all Named in sector 78592947595.003-Rubber-Chicken, Beta is mine to disembody."
      Night huffs, "Well they're not making my lists long enough these days, so I get bored when I have no one to kill. So I thought I'd give you an unwanted hand and slaughter your people. But since you're not appreciative I'll go. You can sort this mess out, right?" Before Timmy can answer, the female reaper vanishes within a black vortex, leaving him to clean up.
     Timmy's face riddles with irritation, "I hate when she just vanishes like that."
     Scythe chuckles, "What a bitch~"

--------Onboard the Alien ship disguised as a floating elephant in space-------
      The abducted farmer, stark naked and bound with duct tape to a table, is surrounded by strange, obese grey aliens, which leak slime and appear as giant slugs. One alien speaks with a slurp sound, "Wei AR thee Obesians."
      The scruffy farmer yells in panic, "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME!?"
      He is answered by a second alien, "Welll, wei were goin tah stick ouR goglavolghs in your anUs cavity, but ouR plans hav changed…"
      The farmer sighs in relief, "Oh, thank God."
      "….OuR leadeR wus killed bi your eaRthanoid peoPles while he wus eating a wiener at one ov yah planetary cafeteria placez, cleverly disguised as a midget female." [(o.o) I told you that little girl was an alien, I told you! But no, you all thought I was crazy! CRAZY!!! Ahem…>.>]
      "Becuzz ov this, wei must now breed a NeW leader, and so ouR female must MaTe with you."
      The farmer stares wide-eyed upon the female Obesian as she is brought into the room, appearing as a gigantic slug covered in smelly ooze, with eight-hundred breasts.
      The farmer's mouth gapes open in shock, "Oh god….she's beautiful!" [(o.O)…]

To Be Disembodied…

(o.o) For those dumbshits who didn't get the reference under the title - allow me to make you less dumb…it's a reference to the 1930s song, "Dream a Little Dream of Me" popularly sung by Mama Cass. The title itself references the song, "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)", clever huh?
P.S. You'd be surprised how comfortable this straightjacket is…