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Description
EDIT: AAAAHHHHHH WE WOOOOOON.

Fufufufufu SURPRISE.

UM UM UM UM... UM, BECAUSE.

Seriously. Lion's Way... oh gads. Lion's Way was tempting. But I want you all to think back to that fateful day when we found out these stallions would eventually be up for auction--when Conclude was a 3yo and we were all fangirling over GAQ and her ponies like little tards. Think back to the Time Before Poltergeist and Devil's Reign, Lion's Way and Baptism, when the hottest stallion on the block was the only creature who could touch Brazen Field's famous filly.

RAINING ROSES, YOU GUYZ. YES I AM FEELING POETIC.

I have been waiting for this boy ever since.

Thus, I give you my auction bid for one of the most awesome-tastic creatures in HARPG Auction history! You want big muscly Distorted Humor-looking baby? I give you big muscly Distorted Humor-looking baby. Complete with bulgy Distorted Humor muscles and the famous DH butt. However, I gave him a slightly longer barrel than DH (granted, not much, but it's there) because Langfuhr is significantly longer in the spine and I wanted to show his Langfuhr blood. X3

BECAUSE I AM A LANGFUHR FANTARD.

Auction located here . Normally I would say go participate, but I really want this baby so I'm just going to go sulk in a corner and glare.

Also: LANGFUUUUHRRR.

Keegan Michaelson, auction manager of BCC Stables, dragged himself into his small cabin, dropped the luggage that seemed to get heavier by the second, walked into his small bedroom and fell face-first onto his dusty pillows.

Two weeks. Two. Freaking. Weeks. That's how long he had been gone. Didn't they have enough bloody horses running around as is? Why did they need more? Even Rafe was rolling his eyes in exasperation at this point, and yet TJ kept demanding the ponies. Why did TJ keep demanding the ponies?

He buried his face in his pillows and inched his body farther onto the bed until only his shoes hung over the edge. It didn't matter. All he cared about now was getting sleep. He was home and there were no more scheduled auctions for another three weeks. That was good enough for him. As it was only eight am (he had been on a plane all night and had never been able to sleep during a flight), he wouldn't be needed for at least another six hours.

Six glorious hours of sleep.

Keegan's breathing deepened and he blissfully let himself fall into that black pit of nothingness.

But as his mind stood on that precipice, ready to drop, the clatter of heavy feet outside his window jerked him back to consciousness, quickly followed by a frantic pounding on his door.

"Keegan!" a very excited, very female voice called through the wood, loud enough that he could hear it quite clearly in his bedroom. Keegan groaned in despair. "Keegan! Keegan, I know you're in there! I saw you stumble in! Open this door, Keegan, or I will!"

"Whyyyyy," he moaned into his pillow. That beautiful little bubble of six straight hours of sleep popped before his eyes as his boss continued to pound on his door. He groaned once more, but dutifully flopped out of bed and straggled to the door to fling it open. Without a second's pause, a very pregnant TJ waddled her way into his cabin, belly-first.

"Good MORNING, Keegan!" Her smile was blinding. Why couldn't she be like every other pregnant woman on Earth: miserable and always unhappy? But no, lucky him had to deal with the single woman in the world who became extra happy (for the most part) when pregnant. "How was your flight? I hope you got lots of sleep because we have a very busy day ahead of us!"

Keegan just stared.

"I have a job for you."

More staring.

"It's a private sale. For a stallion, you know? But not just any stallion, oh no. You see, Raining Roses was just put on the market. RAINING ROSES, KEEGAN!"

He winced from the volume of that shout. Damn, but TJ had a set of lungs on her.

"I want you to fly out in an hour to go finalize the sale."

That got him moving. "What? An hour? Can't it wait?"

TJ's happy, smiling face disappeared at a truly alarming rate. "Wait? You want me to WAIT? Are you insane?! This is Raining Roses we're talking about here! If someone else gets him before we do, I. Will. Reign. Such terror. Upon. Your. Head." Each word was punctuated by one of her deadly fingernails jabbing into his chest. "Do you understand me?" Was that a whimper? Yes, he did in fact just whimper in despair.

"Yes," he said miserably. "Flight in one hour. Pay anything they ask."

And just like that, the blinding smile was back. "Great! Have fun! Come home with that horse or don't come home at all! Enjoy your flight!" And with that, Hurricane TJ blew itself out of his cabin as fast as it had appeared.

Pregnant women. Would he ever understand them?

Bio
Name: Raining Roses
Barn Name: Black, the Roseman
Gender: Stallion
Height: 16.2hh
Color: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Markings: None
Build: Raining Roses is physically more typical of his grandsire's get than of his sire's. He has Distorted Humor's stamps all over him: huge, powerful quarters, phenomenal hind legs, great slope to his shoulder. It can be argued that his pasterns are a little too long or that his head looks rough, but he seems to have overcome his faults just fine.
Breed: Thoroughbred
Bloodlines: Flower Alley x Casanova Move, by Langfuhr [link]
Discipline: Flat racing
Genes: EE Ata
Dosage Index: 2.64
Temperament: Fiery and stubborn off the track, Raining Roses was infamous among hotwalkers as a horse to which one gives a wide berth if one values one's potential for offspring. He's a kicker and a biter, but once he got on a racetrack, he was a running machine, focused on nothing else. In fact, a central point of his personality is his intense focus: once fixed on something, nothing will sway him.
Stable: Black Creek Crossing Stables
Breeding Restrictions: May only be bred to realistic horses of realistic breed and color.
Stud Status: OPEN

Foals
None

Background Story

Racing Stats at Retirement
State or Country Bred: TBA
Total Wins: TBA
Graded Stakes Wins: TBA
Career Earnings (in US currency): $TBA
Titles: TBA
Racing Style: Frontrunner, versatile (7-12f)
Retired: TBA

Previous Pictures/Stories
April 3yo season
May 3yo season
June 3yo season

Art and Characters (C) Me
Ref: Distorted Humor with Raining Roses and Langfuhr upgrades

Description
EDIT: AAAAHHHHHH WE WOOOOOON.

Fufufufufu SURPRISE.

UM UM UM UM... UM, BECAUSE.

Seriously. Lion's Way... oh gads. Lion's Way was tempting. But I want you all to think back to that fateful day when we found out these stallions would eventually be up for auction--when Conclude was a 3yo and we were all fangirling over GAQ and her ponies like little tards. Think back to the Time Before Poltergeist and Devil's Reign, Lion's Way and Baptism, when the hottest stallion on the block was the only creature who could touch Brazen Field's famous filly.

RAINING ROSES, YOU GUYZ. YES I AM FEELING POETIC.

I have been waiting for this boy ever since.

Thus, I give you my auction bid for one of the most awesome-tastic creatures in HARPG Auction history! You want big muscly Distorted Humor-looking baby? I give you big muscly Distorted Humor-looking baby. Complete with bulgy Distorted Humor muscles and the famous DH butt. However, I gave him a slightly longer barrel than DH (granted, not much, but it's there) because Langfuhr is significantly longer in the spine and I wanted to show his Langfuhr blood. X3

BECAUSE I AM A LANGFUHR FANTARD.

Auction located here . Normally I would say go participate, but I really want this baby so I'm just going to go sulk in a corner and glare.

Also: LANGFUUUUHRRR.

Keegan Michaelson, auction manager of BCC Stables, dragged himself into his small cabin, dropped the luggage that seemed to get heavier by the second, walked into his small bedroom and fell face-first onto his dusty pillows.

Two weeks. Two. Freaking. Weeks. That's how long he had been gone. Didn't they have enough bloody horses running around as is? Why did they need more? Even Rafe was rolling his eyes in exasperation at this point, and yet TJ kept demanding the ponies. Why did TJ keep demanding the ponies?

He buried his face in his pillows and inched his body farther onto the bed until only his shoes hung over the edge. It didn't matter. All he cared about now was getting sleep. He was home and there were no more scheduled auctions for another three weeks. That was good enough for him. As it was only eight am (he had been on a plane all night and had never been able to sleep during a flight), he wouldn't be needed for at least another six hours.

Six glorious hours of sleep.

Keegan's breathing deepened and he blissfully let himself fall into that black pit of nothingness.

But as his mind stood on that precipice, ready to drop, the clatter of heavy feet outside his window jerked him back to consciousness, quickly followed by a frantic pounding on his door.

"Keegan!" a very excited, very female voice called through the wood, loud enough that he could hear it quite clearly in his bedroom. Keegan groaned in despair. "Keegan! Keegan, I know you're in there! I saw you stumble in! Open this door, Keegan, or I will!"

"Whyyyyy," he moaned into his pillow. That beautiful little bubble of six straight hours of sleep popped before his eyes as his boss continued to pound on his door. He groaned once more, but dutifully flopped out of bed and straggled to the door to fling it open. Without a second's pause, a very pregnant TJ waddled her way into his cabin, belly-first.

"Good MORNING, Keegan!" Her smile was blinding. Why couldn't she be like every other pregnant woman on Earth: miserable and always unhappy? But no, lucky him had to deal with the single woman in the world who became extra happy (for the most part) when pregnant. "How was your flight? I hope you got lots of sleep because we have a very busy day ahead of us!"

Keegan just stared.

"I have a job for you."

More staring.

"It's a private sale. For a stallion, you know? But not just any stallion, oh no. You see, Raining Roses was just put on the market. RAINING ROSES, KEEGAN!"

He winced from the volume of that shout. Damn, but TJ had a set of lungs on her.

"I want you to fly out in an hour to go finalize the sale."

That got him moving. "What? An hour? Can't it wait?"

TJ's happy, smiling face disappeared at a truly alarming rate. "Wait? You want me to WAIT? Are you insane?! This is Raining Roses we're talking about here! If someone else gets him before we do, I. Will. Reign. Such terror. Upon. Your. Head." Each word was punctuated by one of her deadly fingernails jabbing into his chest. "Do you understand me?" Was that a whimper? Yes, he did in fact just whimper in despair.

"Yes," he said miserably. "Flight in one hour. Pay anything they ask."

And just like that, the blinding smile was back. "Great! Have fun! Come home with that horse or don't come home at all! Enjoy your flight!" And with that, Hurricane TJ blew itself out of his cabin as fast as it had appeared.

Pregnant women. Would he ever understand them?

Bio
Name: Raining Roses
Barn Name: Black, the Roseman
Gender: Stallion
Height: 16.2hh
Color: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Markings: None
Build: Raining Roses is physically more typical of his grandsire's get than of his sire's. He has Distorted Humor's stamps all over him: huge, powerful quarters, phenomenal hind legs, great slope to his shoulder. It can be argued that his pasterns are a little too long or that his head looks rough, but he seems to have overcome his faults just fine.
Breed: Thoroughbred
Bloodlines: Flower Alley x Casanova Move, by Langfuhr [link]
Discipline: Flat racing
Genes: EE Ata
Dosage Index: 2.64
Temperament: Fiery and stubborn off the track, Raining Roses was infamous among hotwalkers as a horse to which one gives a wide berth if one values one's potential for offspring. He's a kicker and a biter, but once he got on a racetrack, he was a running machine, focused on nothing else. In fact, a central point of his personality is his intense focus: once fixed on something, nothing will sway him.
Stable: Black Creek Crossing Stables
Breeding Restrictions: May only be bred to realistic horses of realistic breed and color.
Stud Status: OPEN

Foals
None

Background Story

Racing Stats at Retirement
State or Country Bred: TBA
Total Wins: TBA
Graded Stakes Wins: TBA
Career Earnings (in US currency): $TBA
Titles: TBA
Racing Style: Frontrunner, versatile (7-12f)
Retired: TBA

Previous Pictures/Stories
April 3yo season
May 3yo season
June 3yo season

Art and Characters (C) Me
Ref: Distorted Humor with Raining Roses and Langfuhr upgrades