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The casting call was for a trade show gig for a contortionist. The goal in a trade show is to draw a crowd and hold their attention until the sales pitch starts. Usually that means performing a simple contortion routine wearing a minimum of clothing while perched near, or on, the product being touted. It's not a gig I relish because the company's product is the star of the show and I'm just a lead in act, but it's the kind of gig that pays the rent.
I warmed up while waiting my turn at the audition, and mentally ran through the routine I wanted to show them. When I got into the audition room though I found the small stage was entirely taken up by four Plexiglas boxes in a range of sizes. Several people were sitting at a table facing the stage. As I came in one of them stood up, introduced himself, and explained the audition process.
"Hello Katie, I'm Graham Smith, the head of the marketing department for Acme Appliances. We're looking for a contortionist to work with us at an upcoming trade show, but we're not looking for a typical contortion routine. We're focused on just one thing. How small a space can you squeeze into? As you can see we have an assortment of box sizes on stage. We want you to start with the largest box and continue down the line until you reach the smallest size that allows the lid to be closed and latched. You will need to stay in each box for a few minutes so that we can take a few pictures and make notes. You may start any time you're ready. Take your time. We realize you're not familiar with these boxes and you're allowed to make more than one attempt at a box if you need to."
I'd never encountered an audition like this before, but I've used a Plexiglas box to do an enterology routine. I've also got a small suitcase to pop out of for a dramatic entrance. I stripped off my street clothes getting down to the thong bikini I'd worn assuming that they would want sex appeal. I stepped on stage and surveyed the boxes. Each was a cube with a front opening door. There was quite a range of sizes from the first, which was an easy warm up, to the fourth, which looked impossible.
I tried not to think about the fourth box and went to work on the first box. With a bit of room to work with I decided to do it as a front bend with my feet behind my neck since it would show off my assets in my thong bikini much better than if I were scrunched into a ball. I got myself into position and pulled the door shut. Someone latched the door shut to make sure it was securely closed and then snapped pictures from every angle. I saw the people at the table took a few notes and signaled the gentleman on the stage to open the latch so that I could get out.
The second box was also a sure thing. I had to be careful as to how I positioned my legs, but bunching up into a ball allowed my to get the door closed without a struggle. The latch was easily snapped shut, more pictures and notes were taken.
The third box was close to the size I use for my enterology routine. To the layman it looked much to small for me to get into but that is really the whole idea behind enterology. The trick is to take advantage of the longer diagonal dimensions of the box to accommodate the length of the legs. When I do my routine on stage I ham it up a bit, making it look like more of a struggle than it really is. For the audition however I wanted to show off my agility so I twisted and wiggled into the box as quickly as I could manage. This time they spent more time taking pictures, taking and making notes before I was released.
After getting out of the third box I spent a couple of minutes stretching. I was also working out in my mind a strategy for cramming myself into a box that was smaller than anything I'd previously attempted. I was wishing I were much shorter, much slimmer, and that my legs were made of rubber. I began by trying to get my left leg into position, but even diagonally it did not seem to fit. I was tempted to give up but I was pretty sure that if I could get into this box the gig was mine. I could also incorporate it into my act and have one of the best enterology routines in the business. Stay calm I told myself. Enterology is not only a matter of flexibility, it involves planning how to fit the long leg bones in, and where to put every piece of the body. I turned my torso ever so slightly, twisted my ankle up until I thought it might snap and managed to get my left leg into the box. Now for the right leg which was going to be even harder. I pointed my toes to try and wiggle my foot into place. I twisted, turned, wiggled, pulled and pushed but after ten minutes of struggling I was tired, out of breath, and still not close to being able to close the door. I hated to admit defeat but I knew I had to stop and rethink my approach. I managed to extricate myself from the box and shakily stood up. Grahame said "Katie that was a most impressive effort. I'm sorry that you weren't quite able to get in. We thank you for coming in to audition and we will be in touch to let you know our decision."
"I'm not giving up yet. You said I could make more than one attempt. I just need a minute or two to catch my breath." After being doubled over so tightly in that tiny box I did indeed need to catch my breath, but what i really needed most was a few minutes to think. I needed a better plan for packing myself in if I were to have any hope of succeeding. In my mind I ran through what I knew about enterology. I visualized squeezing myself into my Plexiglas box, and being packed into my suitcase backstage, stepping into it, doubling over and feeling the stagehand leaning hard on the cover to get it closed.
"May I ask a you a couple of questions about the ground rules?"
"Certainly"
"Do I have to leave the box in that position? May I turn it on its side?"
"Put it in any position you please"
"If I do get into that box I'm going to be in a very difficult position. May I ask for an assistant to help in closing the door?"
The gentlemen at the table conferred, whispering among themselves for a minute before he answered.
"We hadn't thought of that, but as long as you end up inside the box with the door latched we're satisfied."
I turned the box so that the door was facing upward. This would allow me to get my legs in place first which is the hardest part. It would also put gravity in my favor, pushing me down into the box.
"Would one of you be so kind as to come up on stage and help me with the door closing? When I'm in place and ready I'll ask you push the door closed and sit on it while the latch is being closed."
I stood in the box, crossed my legs so that my feet were in opposite corners of the box and slowly sat down as far as I could go. I took several minutes of slowly wiggling and twisting my legs into position but I gradually kept working lower and lower, gradually working my body into the box. When I finally got my legs in position I worked one arm under them and used it to pull my upper body forward and into the box. The other arm was tucked behind my back. I wasn't sure if the door could be closed but this was as good a chance as I was likely to get.
"OK, please close the door" came my muffled voice from inside the box. I felt the door against my back and a moment later I felt the pressure increase dramatically as he sat on it. I felt a moment of panic and wanted to push back against it but I disciplined myself to relax and pull myself even tighter into the box. In a moment the latch was closed. I could hardly believe I had been able to pack myself in such a small space. I was pressed tightly up against the box on all sides. It was difficult to breathe. I tried to stay calm and take shallow breaths, telling myself I would be out soon. Unfortunately they were just as amazed as I was and took their time examining the way I had managed to pack myself in. Finally they finished taking pictures and notes and pulled on the latch to open the door. My heart stopped when I heard someone say the latch was jammed due to the pressure on it. There was a lot of pulling and tugging on it but it wouldn't budge until someone thought to sit on the door again so that the latch would be loose enough to open.
I sat up a bit in the box and take a few deep breaths of air. I heard Graham say "That was a remarkable display of skill, agility and determination. There is no doubt that you're the contortionist we've been looking for to work with us at the trade show and possibly in the subsequent marketing campaign. Please come by my office tomorrow morning and we'll go over what we have in mind and get a contract signed.""

Chapter 2 The Contract

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

The casting call was for a trade show gig for a contortionist. The goal in a trade show is to draw a crowd and hold their attention until the sales pitch starts. Usually that means performing a simple contortion routine wearing a minimum of clothing while perched near, or on, the product being touted. It's not a gig I relish because the company's product is the star of the show and I'm just a lead in act, but it's the kind of gig that pays the rent.
I warmed up while waiting my turn at the audition, and mentally ran through the routine I wanted to show them. When I got into the audition room though I found the small stage was entirely taken up by four Plexiglas boxes in a range of sizes. Several people were sitting at a table facing the stage. As I came in one of them stood up, introduced himself, and explained the audition process.
"Hello Katie, I'm Graham Smith, the head of the marketing department for Acme Appliances. We're looking for a contortionist to work with us at an upcoming trade show, but we're not looking for a typical contortion routine. We're focused on just one thing. How small a space can you squeeze into? As you can see we have an assortment of box sizes on stage. We want you to start with the largest box and continue down the line until you reach the smallest size that allows the lid to be closed and latched. You will need to stay in each box for a few minutes so that we can take a few pictures and make notes. You may start any time you're ready. Take your time. We realize you're not familiar with these boxes and you're allowed to make more than one attempt at a box if you need to."
I'd never encountered an audition like this before, but I've used a Plexiglas box to do an enterology routine. I've also got a small suitcase to pop out of for a dramatic entrance. I stripped off my street clothes getting down to the thong bikini I'd worn assuming that they would want sex appeal. I stepped on stage and surveyed the boxes. Each was a cube with a front opening door. There was quite a range of sizes from the first, which was an easy warm up, to the fourth, which looked impossible.
I tried not to think about the fourth box and went to work on the first box. With a bit of room to work with I decided to do it as a front bend with my feet behind my neck since it would show off my assets in my thong bikini much better than if I were scrunched into a ball. I got myself into position and pulled the door shut. Someone latched the door shut to make sure it was securely closed and then snapped pictures from every angle. I saw the people at the table took a few notes and signaled the gentleman on the stage to open the latch so that I could get out.
The second box was also a sure thing. I had to be careful as to how I positioned my legs, but bunching up into a ball allowed my to get the door closed without a struggle. The latch was easily snapped shut, more pictures and notes were taken.
The third box was close to the size I use for my enterology routine. To the layman it looked much to small for me to get into but that is really the whole idea behind enterology. The trick is to take advantage of the longer diagonal dimensions of the box to accommodate the length of the legs. When I do my routine on stage I ham it up a bit, making it look like more of a struggle than it really is. For the audition however I wanted to show off my agility so I twisted and wiggled into the box as quickly as I could manage. This time they spent more time taking pictures, taking and making notes before I was released.
After getting out of the third box I spent a couple of minutes stretching. I was also working out in my mind a strategy for cramming myself into a box that was smaller than anything I'd previously attempted. I was wishing I were much shorter, much slimmer, and that my legs were made of rubber. I began by trying to get my left leg into position, but even diagonally it did not seem to fit. I was tempted to give up but I was pretty sure that if I could get into this box the gig was mine. I could also incorporate it into my act and have one of the best enterology routines in the business. Stay calm I told myself. Enterology is not only a matter of flexibility, it involves planning how to fit the long leg bones in, and where to put every piece of the body. I turned my torso ever so slightly, twisted my ankle up until I thought it might snap and managed to get my left leg into the box. Now for the right leg which was going to be even harder. I pointed my toes to try and wiggle my foot into place. I twisted, turned, wiggled, pulled and pushed but after ten minutes of struggling I was tired, out of breath, and still not close to being able to close the door. I hated to admit defeat but I knew I had to stop and rethink my approach. I managed to extricate myself from the box and shakily stood up. Grahame said "Katie that was a most impressive effort. I'm sorry that you weren't quite able to get in. We thank you for coming in to audition and we will be in touch to let you know our decision."
"I'm not giving up yet. You said I could make more than one attempt. I just need a minute or two to catch my breath." After being doubled over so tightly in that tiny box I did indeed need to catch my breath, but what i really needed most was a few minutes to think. I needed a better plan for packing myself in if I were to have any hope of succeeding. In my mind I ran through what I knew about enterology. I visualized squeezing myself into my Plexiglas box, and being packed into my suitcase backstage, stepping into it, doubling over and feeling the stagehand leaning hard on the cover to get it closed.
"May I ask a you a couple of questions about the ground rules?"
"Certainly"
"Do I have to leave the box in that position? May I turn it on its side?"
"Put it in any position you please"
"If I do get into that box I'm going to be in a very difficult position. May I ask for an assistant to help in closing the door?"
The gentlemen at the table conferred, whispering among themselves for a minute before he answered.
"We hadn't thought of that, but as long as you end up inside the box with the door latched we're satisfied."
I turned the box so that the door was facing upward. This would allow me to get my legs in place first which is the hardest part. It would also put gravity in my favor, pushing me down into the box.
"Would one of you be so kind as to come up on stage and help me with the door closing? When I'm in place and ready I'll ask you push the door closed and sit on it while the latch is being closed."
I stood in the box, crossed my legs so that my feet were in opposite corners of the box and slowly sat down as far as I could go. I took several minutes of slowly wiggling and twisting my legs into position but I gradually kept working lower and lower, gradually working my body into the box. When I finally got my legs in position I worked one arm under them and used it to pull my upper body forward and into the box. The other arm was tucked behind my back. I wasn't sure if the door could be closed but this was as good a chance as I was likely to get.
"OK, please close the door" came my muffled voice from inside the box. I felt the door against my back and a moment later I felt the pressure increase dramatically as he sat on it. I felt a moment of panic and wanted to push back against it but I disciplined myself to relax and pull myself even tighter into the box. In a moment the latch was closed. I could hardly believe I had been able to pack myself in such a small space. I was pressed tightly up against the box on all sides. It was difficult to breathe. I tried to stay calm and take shallow breaths, telling myself I would be out soon. Unfortunately they were just as amazed as I was and took their time examining the way I had managed to pack myself in. Finally they finished taking pictures and notes and pulled on the latch to open the door. My heart stopped when I heard someone say the latch was jammed due to the pressure on it. There was a lot of pulling and tugging on it but it wouldn't budge until someone thought to sit on the door again so that the latch would be loose enough to open.
I sat up a bit in the box and take a few deep breaths of air. I heard Graham say "That was a remarkable display of skill, agility and determination. There is no doubt that you're the contortionist we've been looking for to work with us at the trade show and possibly in the subsequent marketing campaign. Please come by my office tomorrow morning and we'll go over what we have in mind and get a contract signed.""

Chapter 2 The Contract