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Chapter 3: Give them more to write on my grave

In the next week that followed Dudley had met most of the cousins, began to learn spells, and learned new things about his magic. They learned that his eyes glowed when he used magic and the goop they’d found him in actually had magic suppressing ingredients.
He didn't say anything after that, he didn't express his confusion or the fact that this terrified him. They’d told him their theories from the idea of someone against Harry kidnapping him to get at him to the theory of cloning.

This was the one that Dudley was the most frightened of, that he might be a clone, it sounded even more probable than de-aging. Harry and Ginny assured him that even if he was a clone they’d love him regardless. Harry also expressed that cloning didn't give him perfect memories of the person cloned.

Wizards hadn't even managed to clone or learned to give someone memories directly. Trapped memories were just watched by others not experiencing the memory. This allowed Dudley to at least sleep better. For now they were trying to figure out how to explain his eye color and what to say for a cover up once people saw.

Dudley sat at the dining table, soundlessly writing notes and summaries of the stack of books he read. He was strangely better at reading now then in the past. It was odd but he didn't dare to think about it too much or he’s find more reasons to be a clone.

Dudley was doing this on his own since he figured that it was better to keep the most important facts in the books than bring an entire stack of books.

He’d taken to annotating all his books and everything he highlighted would go in his notes journal along with his own comments and explanations. Somehow it felt good, it was relaxing to get out of his own head and focus on something else. And once he got into a groove he could do this for hours.

He jumped when a hand fell on his shoulder “I’m sorry, Dudley, didn't mean to scare you” he relaxed when he found it was Hermione.

“Um no problem, just writing notes” he said gesturing to the book and her eyes shined.

“You’re very studious” she said sincerely “keep it up, I actually have some information for you about your eyes and how we can explain it” she switched topics smoothly. He nodded so she could continue “I was reading about appearance related conditions and special abilities with wizards when I came across the Magus sections. This refers to people like Teddy, he’s an animorphmagus which is very rare and almost always obtained through blood and can’t be acquired through spell work” she started.

“Where he can change color and his body?” Dudley asked.

Hermione nodded “yes, the basic name is a magus, Animagus refers to a wizard who can turn into an animal, Animorphmagus is changing features and color in human form but there are several branches of Magus. One form refers to change in the eye color with the usage of magic. Novomagus, the form used to be really common in Arthurian times specifically with wizards and witches which is why most people thought that changing eye color was a sure sign of a witch. It is partly true because Novomagus can only be accessed if that person has magic” Hermione explained.

“So I somehow obtained it?” Dudley asked.

Hermione’s eyes lit up and she smiled excitedly “no I think you were born with it, Dudley. I think that from the moment you were born you were a wizard. Incidentally I was also looking up cases about accidental magic and childhood magic. It turns out that most children’s magic become often and unpredictable if the child is in a hostile environment” she explained.

Dudley didn't see her point “okay but I never had magic growing up in the first place and I certainly didn’t blow up anything. Harry was the one doing that” he pointed out and she was still giddy.

“I know, Harry was which was why in this book there are rare instances where magic does the exact opposite it would normally do. Instead of blowing up it will become repressed. Dudley, growing up you never did the normal child activities did you? Never watched movies with magic or fairy tale books because your parents fear of Harry discovering what he was. You never had that moment where you got to pretend and that repressed your magic deep. You never performed any magic so Hogwarts would never have known you had it and therefore never performing magic meant your eyes never changed to the Novomagus status” she explained.

He was quiet, that did make sense but he wasn’t all convinced yet “Dudley, did you notice how your eyes changed their color? I’ve seen old photographs and your eyes are nothing like them in the photos. It’s because the magic literally resides in your eyes. Just like the magic is in different spots allowing Teddy to change. I think you can change the color of your eyes if you practice” she explained.

Dudley sighed heavily and put his head on the table, slightly exhausted from the overload of information that he now had to think about. Hermione laughed and ruffled his hair “well that’s all I had to say, I’m going to explain to Ginny and Harry now” she said.

Later that night he couldn’t get to sleep, after a long time of closing his eyes and tossing he decided it was a lost cause and turned on his lamp and decided to read one of his books. He settled on the magical history about Merlin, he managed a few hours of reading before he got bored. He got out of bed and sat in front of his dresser which had a mirror.

It was odd to him, something that he hadn’t even considered the possibility. Like a child knowing he can’t fly even if he didn’t try because people can’t fly and everyone knew that. Dudley huffed out a laugh thinking it was ironic how that Dudley was the weird one even among wizards when his parents were always desperate to be normal.

Dudley stared at his reflection, he concentrated for a second to change the color but it didn’t work. He shook his head remembering he had to believe he could do it or it wouldn’t work. He focused on red and was surprised when his eyes shifted, they actually changed. He smiled and for another hour he was changing his eye color to different shades and mixes of colors and everything he could think of until his eyes started to become heavy.

He turned off the light and climbed into bed, sleeping easily this time. The very next morning he climbed out of bed later than usual and was sluggish sitting at the table beside Lily. Eggs were placed in front of him with a piece of toast “tha-” he yawned loudly wiping away tears “kyou” he completed.

Ginny smiled “welcome, you slept in” she mentioned.

“Mmm, I couldn’t get to sleep for a while” he replied eating some of his eggs, he couldn’t help but think of his mom, would she hate him now that he was like this? He didn’t think he’d be able to take it if she did.

“Lots to think about” Harry agreed.

Dudley finished off his eggs and started on his toast, what if he asked if he could see his parents? Would they let him, he wasn’t so sure.

“Something on your mind?” Harry asked seeing how zoned he was.

Dudley fidgeted, suddenly very self-conscious “I- would you be offended if I wanted to see my parents again?” he asked.

Harry and Ginny looked at each other “of course not, Dudley, they’re your parents regardless of their actions towards Harry. Of course it’s probably best you stay at our home however-” Ginny began to explain.

“No, I don’t mean to stay with them just see them, I like living with you” he amended.

“Yes, let’s go see them today, I have the day off so todays perfect if you like” Harry said.

“Harry-”

“I’ll be fine, they may not like me but they wouldn’t actually hurt me. I’ll be with him the whole time so if it gets bad then I’ll be there” Harry said firmly and Ginny sighed rolling her eyes.

“Stop interrupting me, you two” she said sharply “Dudley I’m sure you already entertained the idea of your parents treating you differently. If they do and worse scenario happens then you have the rest of us and know we love you dearly” she said choosing her words carefully but with a lot of love.

Dudley blushed and nodded, he was a little afraid to say anything and he was glad that Lily chose not to mention it. Once noon hit, Dudley was dressed in his blue hoodie, jeans, and shoes. He’d grown attached the hoodie since James told him he could keep it.

Dudley took Harry’s hand once out the door and they apparated into the tunnel near the park. Dudley shivered remembering the last time he’d been here. Harry noticed but didn’t comment, they both walked and Dudley felt more like a teenager than ever because here he was with Harry again walking to his house. Or more like just Number 4 Privet Drive because he didn’t live there anymore.

Dudley was really nervous when they reached the front of the house. It looked just like he left it, his mothers petunias and other flowers in the garden and green yard. He walked up the driveway followed by Harry and rang the doorbell before he could talk himself out of it.

The door opened moments later and it was his mother, she was older with more than a few grey hairs and wrinkles but still his mum. “Harry” she stopped glancing at Harry then at him, Dudley wasn’t what to do or say. Because he was paralyzed and tears collected in his eyes because he missed her.

All she had to do was slam the door and Dudley would fall to pieces. No matter how aware Dudley was of his parents faults and characters and mistakes he loves them. Her expression held shock and she was quiet, “Diddy?” she asked touching his cheek and he chokes.

“Mum” he replies and immediately her arms around him and hugs her just as tight as she’s hugging him. Her hand are going through his hair and when they pull away she takes in his features. “How?” she asked looking at Harry, not with contempt but patient concern.

“It’s a long story, can we come inside?” Harry asked calmly.

“Of course” she steps aside and looks at Dudley like she can’t hardly believe he exists then calls for his dad. Dudley tenses because his dad hates magic and if he hates magic more than he loves his own son than Dudley will never see his father again.

Vernon is more preoccupied with Harry though and says “you- what the bloody-”

“Vernon!” his mother says in a sharp tone and it’s times he misses because Dudley likes his mother best when she calls the shots.

Vernon is ready to argue when he spots Dudley, he looks at him and for a moment Dudley is sure that his father isn’t going to recognise him. Then he goes pale and his eyes go wide “Dudley?” he asks.

“Hi dad” Dudley says a little awkwardly and is surprised by the crushing hug he gets and he’s glad to get it because even growing up hugs were pretty much nonexistent between men in the family.

So after the exchange is over, his mom drags his dad into the kitchen and they all sit at the table and it’s really weird because Dudley can remember when Harry would serve bacon while his dad read the news and it’s all very strange.

“So um, I guess I’ll start at the beginning” Harry said and proceeded to explain how they found Dudley in goo and explained how Dudley was a wizard now. As this was being explained, Dudley couldn’t look at his parents. He focused on the table, studying the pattern and color and texture of the wood. And somehow focusing calmed him down, like just the act of think about just one thing made him relax.

“Dudley” he turned his head to look at Harry “focus for a sec, yeah?” he said.

“Sorry- I- sorry” Dudley stammered, feeling like a socially awkward loser again.

“We’re not going to lose you again” his mother said and his eyes snapped to his parents again “I made that mistake with my sister and when I let her go I lost her for good because I let my jealousy get ahead of what was important” she added.

Dudley nodded not sure what to say.

“Dudders, I… I’m not good at this, you know and I refuse to hang around with his lot but… I love you even if you are one of them. You’re my son” he said. Dudley nodded again, that was a lot for his dad to say especially after years of hating his cousin and hating magic.

“When you do go to Hogwarts then?” his mother asked relaxing a little into a lighter topic.

“After the summer, I have a lot to catch up on if I’m going to be with 5th years. I’ll have to skip 4 levels of school” he said.

“You were always clever Dudley, if I’m being honest after all these years, you just had to pull your head out of your arse and you would’ve been the smartest in the class” she said.

Dudley went red and Harry laughed out loud and Dudley punched his arm lightly. “I don’t know, are you sure?” Harry asked smirking. “Definately, until his grades dropped in in his 3rd year of Primary school they wanted him to skip a grade” Petunia said and both boys or rather boy and man gaped at her.

“What?” Dudley asked.

“You’ll do great at Hogwarts, Dudley, I bet you’re just as clever as my sister” she said.

Dudley smiled “you’ll tell me about her, right?” he asked glancing at Harry who looked a little sad but happy at the same time.

“Of course” she agreed and for once Harry and Dudley felt the same age again as she began to talk about Lily Evans Potter. They both left the house quiet and happy knowing they were told about the Aunt and Mother they never got to know.

“Do you want to know about what happened that year?” Harry asked.

“Yes, I thought it was painful though so I was afraid to ask” he said.

“It was but it was just as painful when you went missing knowing that the last family member that actually made an effort to show kindness was gone” Harry explained.

“Do I- um, do I have a grave?” Dudley asked.

Harry’s face fell a little “um… after 7 years or something of a person being missing they ask the family members if they want closure because they’re presumed dead. Your parents wanted that, a little bit of closure, they spent long years looking for you Dudley. Making sure there were posters and when your mother came to me desperate to find you because muggles couldn’t. Yes, you have a grave” Harry said.
Dudley took that in and sighed shakily, it was difficult to imagine that. “Where?” he asked.

“Godric’s Hollow near my parents grave” Harry said.

“Can we go?” Dudley asked, Harry offered his hand and they were apparated to it. Walking down the street he paused, a house that was broken and blacken with ash and fire damage. He swallowed, if Harry’s parents were buried in Godric’s Hollow than his parents probably lived here and that was the house.

He was silent staring for another long moment like acknowledging it and then they moved toward the cemetery again. He caught sight of a statue and read the plaque, all these things in Harry’s life and he never saw them. After a moment he found the grave, “Dudley Dursley” with his birth date and unknown at the end. “He is loved by friends and family” it also read.

Dudley’s eyes started to water and he felt like throwing up, he choked out a sob trying to keep it all in but failing miserably and sobbing into his hands. His chest is too tight and he hasn’t ever cried like this, most times he’s so emotionally stunted he can’t bring himself to make the right emotions at the right times.

He never cries and only time he cried like this the first time was alone in his room after the dementors. He’s shaking like a leaf and he doesn’t resist when he can feel arms pulling him into a hug. He cries because he missed his life, not missed it as in he wishes he had it back but he was late for it. He cried because he hated his old self more than he hates himself now.

Because of all the things they had to write on the grave was he was loved. He didn’t want it, he wanted people to be able to write more than that. The fact was he wasn’t loved by his friends at all, he got them by beating people up and it wasn’t a good feeling. It just makes him sob harder and he feels so stupid and useless and he can’t take it anymore.

“Breath!” Harry commands and Dudley obeys taking a deep breath that he needs to calm down. It felt like the long he sat there crying, the worse his misery got, wasn’t crying supposed to feel relieving or something? “It’s alright” Harry told him.

Dudley is on the ground, they both are and he finally lets himself relax and leans against Harry’s shoulder breathing evenly but still quivering. “I want people to be able to say more on my gravestone” he said.

“You want to hear about that year now?” Harry asked him as Dudley able to stand and they go sit at the foot of the statue of Harry’s parents. He agrees and Harry starts to tell him, it takes hours and after it Dudley’s drained and, annoyingly, still shaking.

“I’m going to change my name” he announces to him.

“Dudley” Harry looks concerned.

“Dudley Evans” he adds wiping his eyes “there are probably enough people who’d get confused if I used my real name to ask questions. I’ll be given a second change like being reborn almost” he explained.

“Dudley, you need to open up this time, alright?” he said.

“I’ll do my best, can’t say that I’ll not take a bit of pushing” he said.

“I’m like that too, come on let’s go home” Harry said taking his hand and finally they were home. Dudley’s eyes were still red as he sat on couch next to Ginny who was reading a book and had set it aside when he entered. He hesitated before laying on the couch with his head in her lap.

He didn’t even react when she ran her gentle fingers through his hair and fell asleep to Harry telling Ginny about their exhausting day.

Description
Chapter 3: Give them more to write on my grave

In the next week that followed Dudley had met most of the cousins, began to learn spells, and learned new things about his magic. They learned that his eyes glowed when he used magic and the goop they’d found him in actually had magic suppressing ingredients.
He didn't say anything after that, he didn't express his confusion or the fact that this terrified him. They’d told him their theories from the idea of someone against Harry kidnapping him to get at him to the theory of cloning.

This was the one that Dudley was the most frightened of, that he might be a clone, it sounded even more probable than de-aging. Harry and Ginny assured him that even if he was a clone they’d love him regardless. Harry also expressed that cloning didn't give him perfect memories of the person cloned.

Wizards hadn't even managed to clone or learned to give someone memories directly. Trapped memories were just watched by others not experiencing the memory. This allowed Dudley to at least sleep better. For now they were trying to figure out how to explain his eye color and what to say for a cover up once people saw.

Dudley sat at the dining table, soundlessly writing notes and summaries of the stack of books he read. He was strangely better at reading now then in the past. It was odd but he didn't dare to think about it too much or he’s find more reasons to be a clone.

Dudley was doing this on his own since he figured that it was better to keep the most important facts in the books than bring an entire stack of books.

He’d taken to annotating all his books and everything he highlighted would go in his notes journal along with his own comments and explanations. Somehow it felt good, it was relaxing to get out of his own head and focus on something else. And once he got into a groove he could do this for hours.

He jumped when a hand fell on his shoulder “I’m sorry, Dudley, didn't mean to scare you” he relaxed when he found it was Hermione.

“Um no problem, just writing notes” he said gesturing to the book and her eyes shined.

“You’re very studious” she said sincerely “keep it up, I actually have some information for you about your eyes and how we can explain it” she switched topics smoothly. He nodded so she could continue “I was reading about appearance related conditions and special abilities with wizards when I came across the Magus sections. This refers to people like Teddy, he’s an animorphmagus which is very rare and almost always obtained through blood and can’t be acquired through spell work” she started.

“Where he can change color and his body?” Dudley asked.

Hermione nodded “yes, the basic name is a magus, Animagus refers to a wizard who can turn into an animal, Animorphmagus is changing features and color in human form but there are several branches of Magus. One form refers to change in the eye color with the usage of magic. Novomagus, the form used to be really common in Arthurian times specifically with wizards and witches which is why most people thought that changing eye color was a sure sign of a witch. It is partly true because Novomagus can only be accessed if that person has magic” Hermione explained.

“So I somehow obtained it?” Dudley asked.

Hermione’s eyes lit up and she smiled excitedly “no I think you were born with it, Dudley. I think that from the moment you were born you were a wizard. Incidentally I was also looking up cases about accidental magic and childhood magic. It turns out that most children’s magic become often and unpredictable if the child is in a hostile environment” she explained.

Dudley didn't see her point “okay but I never had magic growing up in the first place and I certainly didn’t blow up anything. Harry was the one doing that” he pointed out and she was still giddy.

“I know, Harry was which was why in this book there are rare instances where magic does the exact opposite it would normally do. Instead of blowing up it will become repressed. Dudley, growing up you never did the normal child activities did you? Never watched movies with magic or fairy tale books because your parents fear of Harry discovering what he was. You never had that moment where you got to pretend and that repressed your magic deep. You never performed any magic so Hogwarts would never have known you had it and therefore never performing magic meant your eyes never changed to the Novomagus status” she explained.

He was quiet, that did make sense but he wasn’t all convinced yet “Dudley, did you notice how your eyes changed their color? I’ve seen old photographs and your eyes are nothing like them in the photos. It’s because the magic literally resides in your eyes. Just like the magic is in different spots allowing Teddy to change. I think you can change the color of your eyes if you practice” she explained.

Dudley sighed heavily and put his head on the table, slightly exhausted from the overload of information that he now had to think about. Hermione laughed and ruffled his hair “well that’s all I had to say, I’m going to explain to Ginny and Harry now” she said.

Later that night he couldn’t get to sleep, after a long time of closing his eyes and tossing he decided it was a lost cause and turned on his lamp and decided to read one of his books. He settled on the magical history about Merlin, he managed a few hours of reading before he got bored. He got out of bed and sat in front of his dresser which had a mirror.

It was odd to him, something that he hadn’t even considered the possibility. Like a child knowing he can’t fly even if he didn’t try because people can’t fly and everyone knew that. Dudley huffed out a laugh thinking it was ironic how that Dudley was the weird one even among wizards when his parents were always desperate to be normal.

Dudley stared at his reflection, he concentrated for a second to change the color but it didn’t work. He shook his head remembering he had to believe he could do it or it wouldn’t work. He focused on red and was surprised when his eyes shifted, they actually changed. He smiled and for another hour he was changing his eye color to different shades and mixes of colors and everything he could think of until his eyes started to become heavy.

He turned off the light and climbed into bed, sleeping easily this time. The very next morning he climbed out of bed later than usual and was sluggish sitting at the table beside Lily. Eggs were placed in front of him with a piece of toast “tha-” he yawned loudly wiping away tears “kyou” he completed.

Ginny smiled “welcome, you slept in” she mentioned.

“Mmm, I couldn’t get to sleep for a while” he replied eating some of his eggs, he couldn’t help but think of his mom, would she hate him now that he was like this? He didn’t think he’d be able to take it if she did.

“Lots to think about” Harry agreed.

Dudley finished off his eggs and started on his toast, what if he asked if he could see his parents? Would they let him, he wasn’t so sure.

“Something on your mind?” Harry asked seeing how zoned he was.

Dudley fidgeted, suddenly very self-conscious “I- would you be offended if I wanted to see my parents again?” he asked.

Harry and Ginny looked at each other “of course not, Dudley, they’re your parents regardless of their actions towards Harry. Of course it’s probably best you stay at our home however-” Ginny began to explain.

“No, I don’t mean to stay with them just see them, I like living with you” he amended.

“Yes, let’s go see them today, I have the day off so todays perfect if you like” Harry said.

“Harry-”

“I’ll be fine, they may not like me but they wouldn’t actually hurt me. I’ll be with him the whole time so if it gets bad then I’ll be there” Harry said firmly and Ginny sighed rolling her eyes.

“Stop interrupting me, you two” she said sharply “Dudley I’m sure you already entertained the idea of your parents treating you differently. If they do and worse scenario happens then you have the rest of us and know we love you dearly” she said choosing her words carefully but with a lot of love.

Dudley blushed and nodded, he was a little afraid to say anything and he was glad that Lily chose not to mention it. Once noon hit, Dudley was dressed in his blue hoodie, jeans, and shoes. He’d grown attached the hoodie since James told him he could keep it.

Dudley took Harry’s hand once out the door and they apparated into the tunnel near the park. Dudley shivered remembering the last time he’d been here. Harry noticed but didn’t comment, they both walked and Dudley felt more like a teenager than ever because here he was with Harry again walking to his house. Or more like just Number 4 Privet Drive because he didn’t live there anymore.

Dudley was really nervous when they reached the front of the house. It looked just like he left it, his mothers petunias and other flowers in the garden and green yard. He walked up the driveway followed by Harry and rang the doorbell before he could talk himself out of it.

The door opened moments later and it was his mother, she was older with more than a few grey hairs and wrinkles but still his mum. “Harry” she stopped glancing at Harry then at him, Dudley wasn’t what to do or say. Because he was paralyzed and tears collected in his eyes because he missed her.

All she had to do was slam the door and Dudley would fall to pieces. No matter how aware Dudley was of his parents faults and characters and mistakes he loves them. Her expression held shock and she was quiet, “Diddy?” she asked touching his cheek and he chokes.

“Mum” he replies and immediately her arms around him and hugs her just as tight as she’s hugging him. Her hand are going through his hair and when they pull away she takes in his features. “How?” she asked looking at Harry, not with contempt but patient concern.

“It’s a long story, can we come inside?” Harry asked calmly.

“Of course” she steps aside and looks at Dudley like she can’t hardly believe he exists then calls for his dad. Dudley tenses because his dad hates magic and if he hates magic more than he loves his own son than Dudley will never see his father again.

Vernon is more preoccupied with Harry though and says “you- what the bloody-”

“Vernon!” his mother says in a sharp tone and it’s times he misses because Dudley likes his mother best when she calls the shots.

Vernon is ready to argue when he spots Dudley, he looks at him and for a moment Dudley is sure that his father isn’t going to recognise him. Then he goes pale and his eyes go wide “Dudley?” he asks.

“Hi dad” Dudley says a little awkwardly and is surprised by the crushing hug he gets and he’s glad to get it because even growing up hugs were pretty much nonexistent between men in the family.

So after the exchange is over, his mom drags his dad into the kitchen and they all sit at the table and it’s really weird because Dudley can remember when Harry would serve bacon while his dad read the news and it’s all very strange.

“So um, I guess I’ll start at the beginning” Harry said and proceeded to explain how they found Dudley in goo and explained how Dudley was a wizard now. As this was being explained, Dudley couldn’t look at his parents. He focused on the table, studying the pattern and color and texture of the wood. And somehow focusing calmed him down, like just the act of think about just one thing made him relax.

“Dudley” he turned his head to look at Harry “focus for a sec, yeah?” he said.

“Sorry- I- sorry” Dudley stammered, feeling like a socially awkward loser again.

“We’re not going to lose you again” his mother said and his eyes snapped to his parents again “I made that mistake with my sister and when I let her go I lost her for good because I let my jealousy get ahead of what was important” she added.

Dudley nodded not sure what to say.

“Dudders, I… I’m not good at this, you know and I refuse to hang around with his lot but… I love you even if you are one of them. You’re my son” he said. Dudley nodded again, that was a lot for his dad to say especially after years of hating his cousin and hating magic.

“When you do go to Hogwarts then?” his mother asked relaxing a little into a lighter topic.

“After the summer, I have a lot to catch up on if I’m going to be with 5th years. I’ll have to skip 4 levels of school” he said.

“You were always clever Dudley, if I’m being honest after all these years, you just had to pull your head out of your arse and you would’ve been the smartest in the class” she said.

Dudley went red and Harry laughed out loud and Dudley punched his arm lightly. “I don’t know, are you sure?” Harry asked smirking. “Definately, until his grades dropped in in his 3rd year of Primary school they wanted him to skip a grade” Petunia said and both boys or rather boy and man gaped at her.

“What?” Dudley asked.

“You’ll do great at Hogwarts, Dudley, I bet you’re just as clever as my sister” she said.

Dudley smiled “you’ll tell me about her, right?” he asked glancing at Harry who looked a little sad but happy at the same time.

“Of course” she agreed and for once Harry and Dudley felt the same age again as she began to talk about Lily Evans Potter. They both left the house quiet and happy knowing they were told about the Aunt and Mother they never got to know.

“Do you want to know about what happened that year?” Harry asked.

“Yes, I thought it was painful though so I was afraid to ask” he said.

“It was but it was just as painful when you went missing knowing that the last family member that actually made an effort to show kindness was gone” Harry explained.

“Do I- um, do I have a grave?” Dudley asked.

Harry’s face fell a little “um… after 7 years or something of a person being missing they ask the family members if they want closure because they’re presumed dead. Your parents wanted that, a little bit of closure, they spent long years looking for you Dudley. Making sure there were posters and when your mother came to me desperate to find you because muggles couldn’t. Yes, you have a grave” Harry said.
Dudley took that in and sighed shakily, it was difficult to imagine that. “Where?” he asked.

“Godric’s Hollow near my parents grave” Harry said.

“Can we go?” Dudley asked, Harry offered his hand and they were apparated to it. Walking down the street he paused, a house that was broken and blacken with ash and fire damage. He swallowed, if Harry’s parents were buried in Godric’s Hollow than his parents probably lived here and that was the house.

He was silent staring for another long moment like acknowledging it and then they moved toward the cemetery again. He caught sight of a statue and read the plaque, all these things in Harry’s life and he never saw them. After a moment he found the grave, “Dudley Dursley” with his birth date and unknown at the end. “He is loved by friends and family” it also read.

Dudley’s eyes started to water and he felt like throwing up, he choked out a sob trying to keep it all in but failing miserably and sobbing into his hands. His chest is too tight and he hasn’t ever cried like this, most times he’s so emotionally stunted he can’t bring himself to make the right emotions at the right times.

He never cries and only time he cried like this the first time was alone in his room after the dementors. He’s shaking like a leaf and he doesn’t resist when he can feel arms pulling him into a hug. He cries because he missed his life, not missed it as in he wishes he had it back but he was late for it. He cried because he hated his old self more than he hates himself now.

Because of all the things they had to write on the grave was he was loved. He didn’t want it, he wanted people to be able to write more than that. The fact was he wasn’t loved by his friends at all, he got them by beating people up and it wasn’t a good feeling. It just makes him sob harder and he feels so stupid and useless and he can’t take it anymore.

“Breath!” Harry commands and Dudley obeys taking a deep breath that he needs to calm down. It felt like the long he sat there crying, the worse his misery got, wasn’t crying supposed to feel relieving or something? “It’s alright” Harry told him.

Dudley is on the ground, they both are and he finally lets himself relax and leans against Harry’s shoulder breathing evenly but still quivering. “I want people to be able to say more on my gravestone” he said.

“You want to hear about that year now?” Harry asked him as Dudley able to stand and they go sit at the foot of the statue of Harry’s parents. He agrees and Harry starts to tell him, it takes hours and after it Dudley’s drained and, annoyingly, still shaking.

“I’m going to change my name” he announces to him.

“Dudley” Harry looks concerned.

“Dudley Evans” he adds wiping his eyes “there are probably enough people who’d get confused if I used my real name to ask questions. I’ll be given a second change like being reborn almost” he explained.

“Dudley, you need to open up this time, alright?” he said.

“I’ll do my best, can’t say that I’ll not take a bit of pushing” he said.

“I’m like that too, come on let’s go home” Harry said taking his hand and finally they were home. Dudley’s eyes were still red as he sat on couch next to Ginny who was reading a book and had set it aside when he entered. He hesitated before laying on the couch with his head in her lap.

He didn’t even react when she ran her gentle fingers through his hair and fell asleep to Harry telling Ginny about their exhausting day.