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Published: 2011-01-17 18:48:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 4419; Favourites: 151; Downloads: 35
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Description
I wake up to the smell of steeland the sight of white mist in the air
my wrists gone too numb to feel
my eyes beyond seeing, to care
I blink with bloodshot eyes
fighting the urge to cry
where the hell am I?
all I see is ice...
Someone tied me up
I have shackles on my wrists
who would be that fucked up?
that also sew my lips
It's so cold in here
there is no exit near
and I'm beginning to fear
the footsteps that I hear
My lips being sewn
it seems I can't scream...
light appears from the moon
and he walks in
I couldn't see his face
there was a shadow in its place
it drew me like bait
marking my dreaded fate
He spoke a foreign language
and I just nodded to please him
it seemed like I was his wish
for he couldn't hide his grin
Just when I thought he's nice
he took out a knife
my heart sunk like ice
for I knew he'd end my life
I was taken by surprise
when blue blood poured out my vein
was this why I was locked in ice?
to, with cold, suppress my pain?
Now he spoked and I understood
saying I was a sacrifice for his youth
that I'm a Nephilim since childhood
and that if I wanted, kill him, I could
After collecting my blue blood
he disappeared into the light
my shackles began to rust
as I took in my might
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Comments: 41
Trampandwolf [2011-01-19 16:41:11 +0000 UTC]
Brilliant imagery and emotive language, however there were some points where the flow seemed to stutter.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
jj126 [2011-01-18 00:28:32 +0000 UTC]
very nice,as i read i felt the emotions like i was there!!! awsome poem
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
furby4537568 [2011-01-17 22:29:06 +0000 UTC]
Very well written poem!
It seems like a narrative style poem, I'm not sure as we haven't exactly written one in English.
The image is very suiting as well~
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
UrDeadlyDesire In reply to Krlytz [2011-01-17 22:31:31 +0000 UTC]
Glad someone read it...people seem to be faving over the pic which other people call me art thief over it, which I'm not-I wouldnt like doing something I wouldnt like myself :/
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ShadowBrokenMirrors [2011-01-17 22:24:01 +0000 UTC]
Very lovely. Sends shivers up my spine--the picture fits the poem perfectly. :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
007Balel [2011-01-17 22:12:31 +0000 UTC]
I really love the poem.
The imagery and the emotions and the way it ends.... its amazing.
I love how you have put this together to fit perfectly.
Even the picture.
Great job!!
(I will fav, for I liked the poem )
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
UrDeadlyDesire In reply to Ph03n1x-Orion [2011-01-17 20:46:22 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
UrDeadlyDesire In reply to Skull-Killer [2011-01-17 20:32:33 +0000 UTC]
Glad you like it, thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Skull-Killer In reply to UrDeadlyDesire [2011-01-17 20:36:00 +0000 UTC]
your welcome i write poems all the time but i haven't posted anything yet!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
UrDeadlyDesire In reply to Skull-Killer [2011-01-17 20:46:45 +0000 UTC]
=o I cant live without poetryy x_x
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Skull-Killer In reply to UrDeadlyDesire [2011-01-17 20:48:58 +0000 UTC]
same!! i would die a slow painful death if i had to stop writing!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
aw3se4 [2011-01-17 19:17:01 +0000 UTC]
There is something that really bothered me... Ice is less dence than water, therefore it floats. So saying your heart sank like ice doesn't make any sence.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
UrDeadlyDesire In reply to aw3se4 [2011-01-17 19:21:25 +0000 UTC]
who said it was on water though?
It could sink as is falling; without the need of water
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
aw3se4 In reply to UrDeadlyDesire [2011-01-17 19:27:47 +0000 UTC]
Mmmh. Yes. But it kind of threw me off, cause ice doesnt generally sink. That's all. it was good though. Nice job.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Noctelux [2011-01-17 19:07:06 +0000 UTC]
"no way adri did that!"
thats what i thought when i saw the preview x3
awesome poem btw sis
no surprise tough x3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
UrDeadlyDesire In reply to Noctelux [2011-01-17 19:11:33 +0000 UTC]
LOL yeah just the poem is mine xP
Andthanks sis^^
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