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Published: 2013-03-13 02:54:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 671; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Charlie stopped just before entering the dining hall to admire his costume.Everything about it looked authentic. The emblem. The color scheme. The patterns. Hell, even the HOOD seemed authentic.
If he didn’t know any better, Charlie would have assumed he was actually wearing a real Team Magma hoodie and outfit.
The dining hall was surprisingly empty, save for a large number of tables and chairs. The only person there was a small girl that Charlie assumed to be his opponent, was wearing what appeared to be a very well-made Mawile outfit, complete with a large mouth sprouting from her head. “Excuse me!” he asked loudly. “Are you,” he checked his SmartDex, “Maylynne Tickern? Am I pronouncing that right?”
“You betcha!” the little girl said, rushing over to meet Charlie. Once she got close enough, she looked him over. “You aren’t actually a member of Team Magma, are you? That’s your costume?”
“Yeah, yeah this is my costume,” Charlie replied. “Although I have to say, yours looks MUCH better. It’s very creative.”
“Thank you!” Maylynne said, giving a little curtsy. “I like it too. It was the only one that really fit me.”
“Isn’t your dad or mom here with you?” Charlie asked. He got down on one knee to better see her.
“Nope! I was here for the last tournament, and I did alright by myself.” She smiled and it soon proved to be infectious, with Charlie breaking out into a grin as well.
“Well, I’m sure you did.”
“You’re my opponent, right? That means we’re going to fight! Which side do you want?” Charlie had never seen someone so eager to get into a Pokémon fight. She was swaying back and forth on her feet, impatiently waiting for a response.
“Uhm…I’ll take this side,” Charlie said, pointing to the side he had entered. “And let’s make this a Double fight, instead of a Triple?”
“Sounds good to me!” a third voice said aloud. Charlie and Maylynne looked up and saw the Magnemite announcing crew arrive behind them. “And it looks like we’ve got our next battle,” one of the Magnemites said. “Charlie Martin versus Maylynne Tickern in a 4v4 Double Battle!”
“0H SHUT Y0UR TR4P MIK3 4ND L3T’S G3T THIS ST4RT3D 4LR34DY!” the brash, slightly battered Magnemite shouted. “I W4NT T0 G3T 0UT 0F H3R3 4S4P 4ND G3T S0M3 FIN3 B4B3 4CTI0N!”
“…very well, B3RT,” Mike said. “Contestants! If you will please take your positions!”
Charlie and Maylynne both got to their spots. “Remember now,” Mike said, “that if any of your Pokémon exit the arena, or otherwise damage the area outside the arena, you WILL be disqualified. Understood?”
“TH3Y FR34KING UND3RST4ND N0W SHUT UP 4ND GO!”
Charlie took that as the starting sign. “Duke! Leonardo! Go ahead!” The Arcanine and Feraligatr were released from their Pokéballs, Leonardo letting loose a loud Howl.
Maylynne sent out her Pokémon as well. “Go on, Marky! Go Howell!” A Vigoroth and a Samurott emerged from her Pokéballs. Both became Intimidated by Leonardo, but Howell Flint, dressed to the nines in his pirate outfit, hid it well.
“ARGH! Well, well, what have we here, mateys? Looks like we got us a fierce-looking landlubber on our hands! So who dares stand before the Captain Howell Flint?” he shouted.
“I am Leonardo, good captain. And this is my ally, Duke.” Duke gave a polite, disinterested wave. “I wish you both good luck in this fight,” Leonardo exclaimed. “Put up your best show, sir captain!”
“You got good manners for a landlubber!” Howell replied. “Marky! Deal with this one! I got that ugly gator over there!”
“Leonardo! ExtremeSpeed! Duke, Scary Face!”
“Howell, use Swords Dance! Marky, Slash!”
Leonardo quickly rushed up to Marky, knocking him back several feet, just barely staying inside the arena. Marky soon got up and jumped for a chance to Slash at his opponent. He would have normally gone for Flamethrower, but that would have been pointless against a Fire-type. The Slash hit, but only seemed to knick the Arcanine. “A good hit!” Leonardo exclaimed, before hitting Marky with a Fire Fang. “But you need to focus! Try and land another!”
“Oh my, B3RT, this fight is certainly turning interesting. The Arcanine seems to have pulled ahead a bit with its attacks on the Vigoroth. Certainly an unexpected take on the fight. Would have thought that the Samurott would have attacked, given the type advantage and all.”
“CL34RLY THIS M34NS TH4T TH3 W4NN4-B3 PIR4T3 IS BR4IN-D4M4G3D.”
Howell Flint prepared his Swords Dance, readying his Scalchops for use. Duke remained where he was, contorting his face into a nightmarish figure that gave even the always ready captain pause.
“Don’t worry, Howell!” Maylynne cheered. “You can do it! Fight him! Use Night Slash!” Howell nodded and charged, letting loose a dramatic battle cry. Duke remained where he was.
“Duke! Crunch!” Duke was able to strike first, capitalizing on Howell’s lack of speed from the Scary Face he gave. The Crunch hit Howell in his bracers, injuring his front right leg. Howell yowled in pain in frustration, but sliced at Duke with Night Slash. The move seemed to hit very well, causing the Feraligatr to take a few steps back from the collision.
“A bit of a trade-off, there,” Mike commentated. “The Samurott has been hurt, and that’s going to hinder its defense. On the other hand—“
“TH4T G4T0R G0T H0S3D!!! D4MN H3 G0T B34T D0WN, DID Y0U S33 TH4T?”
Marky was starting to feel the Burn effects from Leonardo’s Fire Fang. Maylynne saw this as well. “Howell, keep giving that Feraligatr pressure! Marky, use Yawn! Make it sleepy!”
How is she able to keep track of everything? thought Charlie. “Uhm…Duke! Use…use Water Gun! Leonardo, knock that Vigoroth out of the arena! It’s an instant win if we do! Strength!”
Leonardo obliged, using Strength to rush at the Vigoroth and send it flying. As it slid towards the boundary, however, he used ExtremeSpeed to run behind it and prevent it from exiting. Marky looked up in confusion. “If we are going to win, we shall do so in battle! Not by exploiting these loopholes!” Leonardo exclaimed. “Now, get up, and we shall continue.”
Marky, however, just smiled. “You really don’t have any idea how these things work, huh?” He gave a Yawn that instantly made the Arcanine drowsy, barely able to stay on his feet and awake.
Duke sent out a Water Gun that splashed against Howell Flint, who laughed the attack off. “Ye think ye can scare off Howell Flint with but a wee splash? Har! You’re a funny guy!”
“I don’t try to be,” Duke replied. “Guess you have a weird sense of humor.”
“Don’t impugn me honor, boy!” Howell shouted back, and began to charge for another Night Slash. Duke stood ready, taking the attack but also landing another Crunch, which hurt Howell’s Defense even more.
What do I focus on, what do I focus on? Charlie thought. He went with his gut. “Leonardo! Flamethrower!”
Before he collapsed into sleep, Leonardo opened his mouth and let loose a Flamethrower, scorching the Vigoroth before him. Marky yelled, and eventually fainted. Leonardo, unable to stop himself, fell asleep on top of him.
“And the Vigoroth goes down, but leaves the Arcanine wide open for attack!” Mike exclaimed.
Howell wasted no time. He rushed over to Leonardo. “Go, Howell! Use Razor Shell!” The Samurott hit Leonardo with the attack hard, using its Scalchops to land a solid blow on the defenseless Arcanine. Leonardo woke up from the attack, mostly in shock, but soon fainted.
“And now we’re tied up, with each trainer having only three Pokémon left!” Mike announced into the microphone. Maylynne and Charlie both called back their fainted Pokémon. You deserve a nice, long rest, Leonardo, thought Charlie. He also called back Duke. “Hang back, Duke. Let’s let some of the others have a chance, huh?”
“Good work, Howell! You did great knocking out that Arcanine!” the cheery twelve-year-old said as she called back her Pokémon.
Alright you two, you both better be on good behavior, Charlie thought nervously, pulling up and down the hood of his costume in a fit of nervousness. “Trouble! Pallas! Go on out!” The Absol and Pidgeot burst from their Pokéballs, both energetic and ready to fight.
Maylynne just smiled. I think I got this. I THINK I GOT THIS! She laughed and clapped her hands, happy to see how things had developed. “Robby! Rush! You two can handle this, I know it!”
Robby came out first, and at first Charlie was just confused. A Heracross? Didn’t she know how badly Flying-types trumped Bugs? Especially Bug/Fighting types? But his confusion ceased when he saw “Rush”.
Charlie had, over the course of his life, seen some rare Pokémon. From his extensive travels, it was to be expected. But he had never, EVER, in all his life, seen a Heatran. He had heard stories of them, yeah, even heard of people who had used them as their own Pokémon. But he would never have expected a twelve-year-old girl, of all people, to be in possession of one. This…this could get ugly, he thought. Even his own Pokémon were astounded at the Heatran’s appearance.
“Pallas!” Charlie called out, snapping everyone back into focus. “Use Fly, and focus on the Heracross! Trouble, distract that Heatran!”
Pallas obeyed, but not without complaining. “Whoever heard of fighting in someplace with a ceiling??? This is so lame!” She used Fly, preparing to strike against the Heracross. Trouble, meanwhile, used Taunt and Double Team, making appear as though multiple Absols were giving Rush a very rude hand gesture.
“Trouble! There’s a child present!” Charlie admonished. “Keep your insults PG!”
Maylynne took advantage of Charlie’s distraction. “Robby! Use Smack Down!” Robby tore a small chunk of the floor off and sent it flying up towards Pallas, who was unprepared for the attack and crashed back down to the floor, still within the boundaries, but heavily injured. “Way to go, Robby! Show that bird who’s the boss!”
Oh no, oh no! Charlie was starting to panic. “Pallas! Don’t use Fly! Use Gust! Knock him out of the arena!”
Pallas sent a Gust Robby’s way, who took the attack hard but stood his ground, if only barely. Rush, in the meantime, was letting loose several Returns, rushing forward to try and hit Trouble. Trouble was eventually able to hit a solid Sucker Punch, but it seemed to have next to no effect on the giant tank of a Heatran. “Use Iron Head, Rush!” Rush hit Trouble with a solid Iron Head. “Good job, Rush!” Rush beamed with pride that Maylynne was praising him for doing well.
“Pallas! Air Slash!” Pallas landed on the Heracross, knocking him behind Rush, leaving him winded and barely able to stand.
“Rush! Lava Plume!” Rush roared and shoved Trouble back towards Pallas, before letting loose an inferno of flames before the two Pokémon, knocking both of them out and somehow staying inside the boundaries of the arena.
“And now BOTH of Charlie’s Pokémon are out, leaving just the Feraligatr that we’ve seen earlier, and three of Maylynne’s Pokémon are left!” Mike exclaimed.
“GR4NT3D, TW0 0F TH3M 4R3 D34D 0N TH3IR F33T, BUT TH4T 0NE C4N PR0B4BLY KICK 4LL KINDS 0F BUTT!”
“Thank you for your…frank…analysis, B3RT.”
Only one left…I hope this works… Charlie called out Duke incredibly close to his side, leaving Rush and Marky far on the other half of the arena.
“Hey, come on, what’s the big idea?” Robby called out, exhaustion clear in his voice. “Keeping your distance might work for now, but it will only get you so far!”
Maylynne seemed to see an opportunity. “Rush! Robby! Charge after it! Brick Break and Iron Head!” The two charged at the Feraligatr, who remained calm in the face of their attacks.
Charlie decided it was time to let loose. “DUKE! SURF!” It was what Duke would have done anyway. The arena ground became swamped with water, and a wave appeared, sweeping over Robby and Rush. It knocked Robby out, leaving him collapsed on the ground, and tripped Rush over, leaving his belly exposed. Duke let out yet another Surf that sent the prone Heatran back.
And out of the Arena.
“No,” Maylynne whispered.
“Yes,” Charlie cried out, falling to his knees in shock and happiness.
“AND THE HEATRAN IS OUT OF THE ARENA! MAYLYNNE IS DISQUALIFIED! THE WINNER IS CHARLIE MARTIN!”
Charlie called back Duke, taking a few seconds to have his heart stop beating out of his chest. That kid, Maylynne, was good. Probably a prodigy. All of her Pokémon had clearly been trained well, particularly her Heatran. It was a nice change of pace from the last round.
When he looked over at her, she saw that she had gone over to her Pokémon and seemed to be rubbing its belly. It seemed to produce a calming effect on the Legendary Pokémon. Charlie walked up to the two, hoping that he could talk with her for a second. When she noticed him coming, she smiled. “That was a really good fight!” she said, her giant Mawile mouth not hiding her smile. “Your Pokémon are really good! Do you fight often?”
“Actually, no,” Charlie confessed. “I’m mostly a caretaker for them. I help Pokémon find good homes and trainers to care for them.”
“That’s really cool!” Maylynne said. She backed away from Rush, who seemed a bit disappointed that his belly rub had ended. “It’s ok, Rush. I want you to meet my new friend, Charlie. Go ahead, Charlie, he won’t hurt you.”
Charlie decided to take the risk and rubbed the Heatran’s belly softly. It let out a pleased sigh. “He seemed a bit upset at first that he had let me down, but he always gets into a better mood with a belly rub,” Maylynne explained.
“You certainly are taking this loss rather well. When I was your age, I would have been devastated,” Charlie admitted.
“It was a great battle. We both did our best, and that’s all I can ask for.” She smiled again and offered her hand. “I hope you do well in your next round!”
Charlie smiled and shook her hand. “Thank you, Maylynne. I hope your Pokémon trainer career goes well too.”
“Well isn’t this lovely!” Mr. Sinnohmin and Vera Anne walked into the dining hall, both still in their costumes. “It’s so nice to see two competitors shake hands and be respectful after a fight, isn’t it Pecha Bun?” Vera asked.
“It always is, Lum Tart. It always is.” Sinnohmin walked up to Charlie and Maylynne and said “A good fight, a VERY good fight. I can’t wait to watch all of it on video later. And I must say, your costumes are ASTOUNDING! They should be, since I had them commissioned.”
“Could I please keep this Team Magma hoodie outfit, Mr. Sinnohmin?” Charlie asked.
“Why in the world would you want to keep it?”
“So that I don’t charge you and your fiancée for kidnapping and drugging everyone onto this ship.”
Sinnohmin seemed to cringe at that. “Oh. Yes. Well…”
“Charlie.”
“Charlie, yes, well, you see—“
“Oh, of COURSE you can, Charlie,” Vera interrupted. “Please, accept it as my personal apology for deceiving you like I did earlier. It was unbecoming of me. I truly hope you could forgive me.”
Charlie looked into Vera’s innocent eyes and gave in. “Alright. Thank you very much! Well, I need to get back and see how my other Pokémon are doing. If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Sinnohmin. Miss Vera Anne. Maylynne.” He gave them each a polite nod of the head and walked out, making his way back to his designated room and passing by a few spectators who seemed to be watching a recording of another match-up on their phones.
When he arrived at his room, Charlie found Barra standing nervously at the door. She rushed over to him, pulling him by the leg towards the door. “Alright, Barra, alright! I’m coming, don’t worry.” When he looked inside, he saw Tyson standing motionless in the middle of the room, the door to the closet completely wrecked. “Tyson? You alright?” Tyson simply looked back at him, his eye full of anger, and then turned his head away again. Charlie walked forward. “Hey, Tyson, what’s wrong?”
Tyson angrily turned around and stormed out, violently shoving Charlie back with his shoulder. As Charlie watched Tyson walk off, Barra flew in and landed right next to Charlie, checking to see if he was alright.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked her.
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Comments: 5
ThePuertoRicanDragon [2017-08-18 15:21:27 +0000 UTC]
I've got to give this a good look again!
How could I miss Maylynne's Mawile outfit? I never would have thought of giving her one... or set the round in a costume ball in the first place! That's one fine alliteration you did with giving Maylynne a Mawile outfit, by the way. You've not only got her personality and background spot-on, but, in a few sentences, went above and beyond in ways that not even I would have thought of, and I am the one who made the character!
I admit, I snickered at B3RT's lines. What types of hot babes would he want or would be interested in him is something else entirely. Also, you'd think that the contestant that had already battled in tournaments and are in a fancy party already understand the rules.
Howell Flint's lines still make me laugh out loud even after all these years. His managing to hide the Intimidate was true to him, actually. He was also headstrong to his disadvantage here, something that you had one of the Magnemite point out here. Marky was wonderfully pragmatic and thoughtful, keeping type advantages and even the rules in mind. I liked that comment Marky did after Leonardo decided to forgo Charlie's command in favor of a more honorable standoff, actually helping Marky get back on the stage. That's something that Marky wouldn't just stay quiet on. I also laughed a bit at how Leonardo ended up landing on top of Marky in his sleep. You even exploited the type advantage that you seemed to have forgone earlier.
The dynamics with the four in the initial setup are very strong. You paired up the delusional Howell Flint with the more practical Marky, despite Samurott being normally more dignified and Vigoroth being more hyper. Howell Flint also faced off against the polite Duke while Marky went with Leonardo, who kept honor and the rules in mind. Even Charlie's confusion in battle was a good foil to Maylynne knowing what everything is. Honestly, I never thought of her that way. I never saw of her as a frequent battler, but rather someone who normally plays with her Pokémon.
I like how the story paused when focusing on Rush and the fact that he was a freakin' Heatran! You managed to get Rush's affection for his trainer and Robby's reserved teaching across.
Trouble certainly gave "trouble" at Charlie at the start, right? Robby's Smack Down was a surprise in how he did it. Having Rush knock out both Trouble and Pallas at the same time, pushing Charlie to one injured Pokémon, managed to top that! I feared for Charlie here, but disqualifying her by managing to knock that heavy Heatran out of the stage was genius! What a great use of foreshadowing from Leonardo's comment there! Looking at this again, Duke exposed Rush's belly but did not specifically attack him there. The Surf attack instead washed Rush out of the arena, instead. You're great at leading the reader to one thing before revealing another.
That part after the battle was cute. You brought out both how Maylynne was a fun competitor and how Rush was close to his trainer and just a big softie. Charlie's "bribe" to Mr. Sinnohmin was not only funny but reality-inducing. That just made the scene with Tyson all the more cutting.
If I were to nitpick, I think that Maylynne's “Way to go, Robby! Show that bird who’s the boss!” would have been better if it was in its own paragraph, though. Also, when you said "Rush and Marky", you probably meant "Rush and Robby". Another thing would be that Robby wouldn't have tried to teach Duke on keeping his distance since he was his opponent.
In all, I was smiling and laughing all the whole time I read this part. You manage to show and expand on characterization in such few words. Seriously, you wrote my characters in ways that not even I have thought of! You actually made me learn about them!
You were a wonderful opponent back then. I could learn from your writing a lot.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ThePuertoRicanDragon [2013-03-13 04:50:53 +0000 UTC]
Right now, I shall say that I was smiling throughout this part. I was laughing at Howell Flint's lines here. I was surprised that you opted to attack Rush's underbelly rather than take advantage of his weakness to having the underbelly rubbed... then you got Rush to have his underbelly rubbed after the battle! I feel so much better!
Frankly, you were excellent in handling the opponent's characters!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
VariableNature In reply to ThePuertoRicanDragon [2013-03-14 15:49:22 +0000 UTC]
Glad to know that you liked it so much! Thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ThePuertoRicanDragon In reply to VariableNature [2013-03-14 23:43:14 +0000 UTC]
I meant to say that I feel relieved about my possibility of losing due to the way you handled my characters here.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1