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Part 1: Mugen

Kanda walked into his room, rather annoyed. He could never just go down to the dining hall and eat something with out either the Moyashi or the Usagi bothering him. He could tolerate Allen, though. Usually Kanda just pretended that he was listening while he was off in his own little world. With Lavi, Kanda actually had to respond since the stupid rabbit asked him questions. Most of the time, Kanda just snapped at him to not ask him anything, but Kanda still needed to be cognizant of the conversation to know when to snap. Even worse still, Lavi liked to follow Kanda back to him room.

Kanda went straight for Mugen. He wanted to slice the rabbit to bits. He grabbed his sword, whipped around, and unsheathed it. But as soon as he did, he froze completely. Lavi looked at Kanda, who could only stare at his blade with wide, scared eyes. Lavi also got scared. Nothing shocked Kanda, ever. It was like a rule of nature! For something to have stopped Kanda in his tracks must be bad.

"Yuu...? Kanda?" Lavi asked gently, trying to slowly bring the samurai back. "What happened?"

Kanda didn't answer. The sheath dropped from his hands and clattered to the hard wood floor. Kanda was in enough of his right mind to make sure that he wouldn't hurt himself on his sword as he dropped to his knees. As soon as he was down, Kanda let go of Mugen, letting it fall on the ground. Kanda fell forward again, catching himself on his hands. He was hyperventalating, and his entire body was shaking.

It was when Mugen got on the ground that Lavi saw what frightened Kanda so. All long one side of the blade, written in crude black ink, was Japanese writing. A quick translation in Lavi's head made him gasp. The message was short and to the point, but it was anything but sweet.

"Yuu Worthless Samurai"

Lavi knelled down next to Kanda and gently place a hand on his shoulder. He felt Kanda jump under his hand and began to rub Kanda's back soothingly. Kanda took a deep breath and sat back on his haunches, letting Lavi pull him into a hug. Kanda didn't reciprocate, but he dry sobbed into Lavi's shoulder.

"Yuu?" Lavi asked gently in Kanda's ear. "Am I going to have to talk you off the ledge like I did in the Ark?"

Kanda just shook his head. He remembered that day very well...

~*A few months earlier*~

"Lavi."

Lavi stopped and turned around, seeing Kanda almost looking sheepish. Lavi looked ahead to see Allen and Chaoji leaving to find Lenalee and Cross. Lavi went back over to Kanda, a little worried about the samurai. Before Lavi could ask anything, Kanda handed him a little bag that held the shattered pieces of Mugen.

"Take this back to Hevlaska for me," Kanda said, not looking Lavi in the eye.

"Yuu, you can take it back yourself," Lavi said, pushing it back into Kanda's hands.

"No, I can't," Kanda insisted, handing it back. "I'm not going back with you guys."

"Wha?!" Lavi gasped, looking at Kanda in shock. Kanda's eyes were set in determination that scared Lavi. "Yuu, what do ya mean?!"

"I mean just what I said!" Kanda snapped. He pulled a dagger out of his boot, holding it up for Lavi to see. "I'm staying here."

"Yuu no!" Lavi cried, slapping the dagger out of Kanda's wrist. Kanda was too shocked by the sudden outburst that he let Lavi grab his upper arms and start shaking him. "What are you thinking?! Seppuku!? Really?!? You did nothing that could warrant something like that!"

"I failed!" Kanda snapped, making Lavi jump a little. "If the room i was in hadn't collapsed when it did, Skin would have killed me! Not only that, I let my Innocence get destroyed in the process! I don't deserve to be an Exorcist..." Kanda's tense figure melted away, revealing a side of Kanda that Lavi hadn't seen since they were kids. Kanda looked up to Lavi, almost with tears in his eyes. The hopeless look on Kanda's face shattered Lavi's heart just like his hammer. "I'm worthless. I'm a sorry excuse for a Second Exorcist..."

"No you're not," Lavi said gently, pulling Kanda into a hug. "Yuu, you are the most talented person I have ever met. I have seen a lot of swordplay in my time, and never have I seen someone handle a blade like you. Not only that, have you seen the number of times you have saved my ass on the battle field. I don't think that's worthless." Lavi pulled back enough to look Kanda in the eye. he gently thumbed a tear off Kanda's cheek and continued. "There is no way someone as amazing as you can be worthless. It defies nature."

"You think so?" Kanda asked, his voice hopeful. Lavi could almost feel Kanda's need to hear the answer, like it was his lifeline, and it probably was.

"I know so," Lavi said with a smile. He took Kanda's hand and started to pull him along in the direction Lavi and Chaoji went before. "Come on, if we don't save Lenalee from General Cross, we're all going to feel worthless!!"

As Kanda was dragged along behind Lavi, he did something he didn't normally do. Kanda smiled, a real, heartfelt smile. He thought it a shame that Lavi missed it. Oh well, Kanda swore to himself that he would keep living, if only to make sure that Lavi could see his smile again.

~*Present time*~

Kanda sighed deeply. Again, he was feeling worthless. Worthless and terrified. Someone had the guts to break into his room, deface his sword, and then get away. Lavi could feel the uncertainty radiating off Kanda and hugged him tighter.

"Yuu, just calm down," Lavi said gently, still rubbing Kanda's back. "Come on, don't think about it. Remember? You're not useless..."

"I will be now," Kanda choked out. "I'll be too ashamed to use Mugen in battle now... I can't go on missions..."

"Let me see it," Lavi said, reaching over to grab Mugen. He looked at the ink and hummed. "It's not etched in, just painted on. It'll come off with some WD-40 and turpentine."

"You sure?" Kanda asked, not really believing him.

"I'm positive!" Lavi said triumphantly. He helped Kanda to his feet and said, "Come on, we gotta go tell Komui."

Kanda nodded and stood up. He walked out of his room with Lavi. Kanda closed the door and brushed his fingers over the lock. Lavi heard the click of a lock moving into place. He was a little confused, but shrugged it off, opting instead to take Kanda's hand and lead him down to the Science Division.