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whatstuffequal — ouch.
#angsty #poetryemotional #sadness #poetryfreeverse
Published: 2018-04-09 03:13:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 231; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
I couldn’t move.I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t feel.
Except pain.
Pain in my head.
Pain in my hands.
Pain in my heart.
My arms were numb.
Reality
Existence
All was growing numb.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think.
I gave my heart to you.
You gave your heart to me.
The pain buffers my suffocating thoughts.
Processing through the form of hiccups.
It hurts.
The pain of separation.
The pain of guilt.
New lines open up my skin.
New patterns trace themselves along my arms.
New lines that burn.
New lines to pay for guilt.
Only pain.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
It won’t get out of my head.
You won’t get out of my head.
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Comments: 3
Ouch, that sounds like it was rough. Don't let it get you down though. The way I see things is this: Bad things happen, but it will get better. Once you hit the bottom, the only place to go is up. Naturally you have to go down again eventually, but hey, you'll eventually get to go up again. The best thing to do is move forward no matter what. Eventually things won't even drag you down. Screw the setback, we are going to keep moving forward.
On a side note: you would not believe the bouts of exestential depression I have been having. But I was able to get through them. And now I deal with them as they come and don't linger on them. Trust me, I know what it is like to be in a funk with anxiety and turmoil eating at you.
Now as for them poem: You did an excellent job of conveying emotion. My favorite aspect is the repetition at the end. Turmoil and stress can do that. You end up dwelling on that negative experience and it feels like it won't go away.
You are showing a good amount of potential for poetry.
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Not with the best of judgement, but I think, that your poetry holds something authentic, not something you see anymore.
On that note, I hope you're somewhat better than you were when creating it.
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thanks m8. although feelings like this suck ass, they do indeed create pure, raw, emotional works of art, which i think is an excellent outlet for powerful and violent emotions and experiences. hope you're doing well and hope you're taking care of yourself. much thanks.
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