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WhipsyDK — Friends?
Published: 2009-03-10 17:13:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 1078; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 2
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Description So I played the
good guy again
So I played the
good friend again
So I pressed the
chicken switch again
So I gave advice
that contradicted
every bone in
my body
again

So I lied,
not denied,
but not admitting
either

Wanted to say it
SCREAM IT

But I didn't.
Because I'm a good friend.
Because I'm a good guy
with a bleeding heart
and
good guys always finish last
before they start.
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Comments: 9

Sraiya [2009-05-11 18:13:35 +0000 UTC]

liiike this! it's really emotional, really restrained, maybe like how he feels and how he acts and what he holds dear...
lol being all weird. point is, love the ending especially, whole thing is lovely

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

WhipsyDK In reply to Sraiya [2009-05-11 20:15:59 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much.
Greatly appreciated.

Yeah, emotional restraint is definitely present here. And he curses himself a bit for ending in this situation for the umpteenth time.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

W-Uno [2009-03-20 08:58:56 +0000 UTC]

Oh, man, do I ever know how this one feels...

I kept those two boneheads together for over a year.

I feel like the last sentence in the first verse needs a little work, it's rather wordy.

On the other hand, I like the last few lines of the poem a lot. Like, a lot. Tres clever.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

WhipsyDK In reply to W-Uno [2009-03-20 22:09:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

Greatly appreciated.

Yeah, this is the worst feeling. And you feel stupid for letting it happen.

I sincerely appreciate your observations. And I agree that the last sentence of the first verse seems wordy, but that is fully intentional. I wanted to underline just how much of a repetition this act was for me. I guess it could have been done differently, but alas.
I wanted to throw the reader off a bit.

Thanks for the comment.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Pickled-Poppy [2009-03-10 17:15:27 +0000 UTC]

This is really coolio.
I really love the last few lines.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

WhipsyDK In reply to Pickled-Poppy [2009-03-10 19:18:47 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

The last few lines are also the ones I'm most satisfied with. But the first part shows the mess of thoughts in that situation leading up to that final realization. So while the first part seems somewhat fragmented, at least to me, it helps to accentuate the last part.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Pickled-Poppy In reply to WhipsyDK [2009-03-10 19:24:35 +0000 UTC]

Yep that really works pretty well.
Mind me looking trough your galery?
Feel free to look through mine

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

WhipsyDK In reply to Pickled-Poppy [2009-03-10 19:32:30 +0000 UTC]

Please, go right ahead!

Thanks, I took the liberty of already sneaking a peek at yours.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Pickled-Poppy In reply to WhipsyDK [2009-03-10 19:36:15 +0000 UTC]

Brillo I'll get right to it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0