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This Eclipse in Edwards POV. All of Chapter 1 to be exact.

Chapter 1: Time

Charlie’s thoughts began to become clearer as I swerved around the corner and onto their street. They were discussing colleges again. It seemed as though Bella had received another acceptance letter. Many times I had told her that it would be no inconvenience for me to pay her tuition. And that we had time to wait. But no matter how many times I asked, almost begged, she would not give in. Her mind was wrapped around the date after graduation.

As I knocked on the front door Charlie grumbled unhappily to himself. His mind an open book.
Great. He’s here. He thought. Keep it cool, though. You don’t want to upset Bella.
Even though his thoughts towards me were on the lighter side these last couple of weeks, there was no mistaking his hostility. But I did not complain. In a way, I welcomed it. Because Bella would never have the heart to yell at me for leaving her. My mind struggled to grasp the concept of how this beautiful, selfless creature could possibly love me. A monster. And as much as I was elated to have her back safely in my arms, it pained me at how easily she had forgiven me. I was not deserving of that. I have never been. However, I could see it in her eyes how deep she hurt - though she would never speak it. I tried not to leave her as much as possible. Tearing myself away from her to hunt only when it was vitally necessary. Especially those first few months of my return. - No, it was completely inappropriate to simply call it a ‘return’. The more proper and fitting title would be rescue.

I could hear her stumbling towards the door. Her heart beating rapidly in her chest and her breathing accelerating. And even though her thoughts were blind to me, the beat of her heart and the blush on her cheek always gave her away.
“Hey” she said, trying to regain her breath.  I brushed her newly flourished cheek softly with our intertwined hands. It always surprised me how warm and soft she was. “How was your afternoon?”
“Slow”
“For me as well.”
I could not resist any longer. Closing my eyes, I carefully glided my nose against her wrist. It was no longer a dangerous act. Her skin, the sweetest of aromas, was now only a trickle in the back of my throat. Enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine, as I had once explained to her.

What are they doing in there? Charlie’s annoyed voice rang loudly in my ears. His stomping followed hastily after and I quickly let our hands fall limp to the side. But never let go it go, keeping it tightly secured in mine. My thumb brushed the back of her hand reassuringly.  Though I knew it bothered Charlie to bare witness to the even slightest bit of affection that I showed.

This is unnecessary. Does she really need to see this boy twenty four-seven? He doesn’t deserve her.

His religious greeting of unwelcomeness was nothing new and I answered with the utmost politeness. His attitude toward me was completely justifiable, and I knew it. Though Bella vehemently disagreed. Charlie stood against the wall for a moment, eyeing us suspiciously.

In my free hand I carried a manila envelope filled with college applications. College meant nothing to me; I had been more than my fair share. Having PhDs in useless courses such as paleontology. Her face grew wary as I held up the envelope. I knew exactly what was running through her mind; I could see it in her eyes, read it on her face. Her desires were at the top of my priority list, as they always were and always will be.

We walked over to the little kitchen and I sat down in the chair that was Charlie’s.

Thinks he can sit in my chair. Ha. I’ll show him. He’s probably not even going to college. Probably didn’t get accepted.

I couldn’t help but smile a little at his accusations. Bella looked at me with a slightly perplexed expression but I just nodded and she let it go.

“Where have you been accepted?” If you have been accepted.
“Syracuse...Harvard...Dartmouth...and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today.” I explained, keeping my voice casual.
Liar he accused. I could feel his disbelieving eyes as I opened the envelope.
Before he had a chance to ask any more questions, Bella immediately tried to alleviate the tension.

“Guess what, Edward?”  He voice was light and playful. It was so very hard not to smile whenever she was like this.
“What, Bella.” I replied, playing along.
She pointed directly at the acceptance letter on the table that Charlie and she had been discussing before my arrival.
“Congratulations.” I smiled. “What a coincidence.”

Coincidence? Ha! Charlie thought. That’s no coincidence. I bet he-

I tried to drown out his accusations. It did not deem polite to trespass his thoughts.
I had already heard more than I should. And sometimes, I adamantly wished I could rid myself of this talent permanently. My hand scribbled aimlessly across the applications; almost all of them shared the same questions, and did not call from much attention on my part. But suddenly, something had grasped my attention. I abandoned my work and jerked my head to face Charlie.

“Bella is no longer grounded?” I asked.
This thought had evaded me. I could now spend more time with Bella outside the confines of her home. However, I didn’t mind the location to which we shared our time. Time didn’t matter. Nothing mattered when she was with me.
“What’s it to you?” Charlie grumbled.
“It’s just nice to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I’m sure Bella would love to see some city lights.” I said casually.
Out of the corner of my eye Bella grimaced. I knew she wasn’t too fond of shopping; especially when Alice took the term “shop till you drop” quite literally. But in the morning news, they spoke of a new danger that haunted the town of Seattle. I would need someone to watch over Bella on those rare occasions when I would be temporarily away.

“No!” Charlie barked. His eyes were brooding as they flickered from Bella to me and back again.

Anywhere but Seattle. Anywhere but Seattle. Charlie chanted in his head.

“Dad! What’s the problem?” She seemed embarrassed by her father’s sharp reaction.
“I don’t want you going to Seattle right now.” He finalized.
“No, that’s fine.” I said. “I didn’t mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn’t have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not.”  Both Bella and he seemed slightly taken aback by my concurrence.

Didn’t give up much of a fight. He’s a wuss then, isn’t he. Shoulda figured as much.

Then he shrugged and walked away to entertain himself by the television.

I would never intentionally place her in danger that way, even if Alice were to be with her.
It was still a mystery to the local officials about who was behind these gruesome attacks. Their theories seemed to be linked to gangs. We, however, had theories of our own. But until we could learn more, it would be safe to avoid Seattle altogether.

“Bella?” I said. I turned my head towards her when she let out a snort of repulsion.
“Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?” She sneered the last words. It always confused me when she would get upset about the colleges I had chosen for her. Despite what she thought, I believed her to be very bright and highly eligible for any Ivy League. But I decided to humor her. “I think you’d like New Hampshire. There’s a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife.” I flashed my smile. She didn’t seem amused. In the end, I was the one who completed the paperwork. I signed her name to perfection.

“You’re going way overboard with this, you know.” She said suddenly. I looked at her from beneath my eyelashes, my head still down. “I really don’t need to apply anywhere else. I’ve been accepted to Alaska. I can almost afford the fist semester’s tuition. It’s as good an alibi as any. There’s no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is.”
I lifted my head so that my eyes were level with hers. It didn’t settle well it me when she mentioned paying for it herself. But another emotion overtook the previous. I felt a strange impulse to get on my knees and beg her to rethink. Beg her to attend college for just one year. Caught up in my thoughts, I only attained the last bit of what she had said.

“I thought the timing was still undecided,” I mumbled. Indeed the timing was still undecided. Yes, I was aware of the deal with Carlisle, one that I was utterly upset over. But maybe I could convince her otherwise of her decision until then. “You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you’ve never had.” Many times I have used the excuse of her not getting the chance to take part in “human experiences”, that she had grown tired of my attempts at postponement.
“I’ll get to those afterward.” She said, slightly annoyed.
“They won’t be human experiences afterward. You don’t get a second chance at humanity, Bella.” If there were ever a second chance, I would take it. I would snatch it up if it meat I would be able to save her from this hideous fate. In a heartbeat, I would become human for her.

She continued to state her argument, insisting that we were in constant danger. But no danger would ever befall her. Nothing would ever touch her. So badly did I want her to understand, but I could never explain in a way she could grasp. The Volturi would come, of that I was sure of. It would be quite a while when they were to pay us a visit, so they were not an immediate concern of mine. And was not it enough that the months were now only a few weeks until graduation? Until her heart would beat no longer?

My eyes ran carefully over her face, observing her twisted features. Was she sharing my last thoughts? It irritated me periodically when her thoughts were a mystery. She looked at me when she realized my eyes were on her.

“Bella, there’s no hurry. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need.” It was no inconvenience to me weather it was later rather than now. Actually, I would rather it be later. But human or not, I would always love her.
“I want to hurry” she whispered. Her eyes gazing mesmerizing into mine, and a slight smirk on her face. “I want to be a monster, too.”
Monster. It was plain that she was only joking, trying to alleviate the tension as she always does. And the term was quite suitable for what we are, but for her to wish this upon herself.
Is that what she wants to become? Is that her final request in life. To become a monster? Would she like to be the type of monsters that were wreaking havoc in Seattle?
My teeth clenched so hard against each other that they would probably break if they could.
“You have no idea what you’re saying.” I stabbed my finger at the headline of today’s newspaper.

                                 DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE,
                                     POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY

“What does this have to do with anything?” she whispered, afraid to say anything more that might upset me.
“Monsters are no joke, Bella.” I was still speaking through clenched teeth. I could almost hear the click in her brain as she put two and two together.
“A...a vampire did this?” She seemed as though this were not a tangible concept.
I smiled curtly and nodded my head once.
”You’d be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news.” My voice twisted at the word human. “It’s easy to recognize when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were.” Her eyes were full of regret before they moved back down to the paper again. I continued to explain to her that Carlisle and I have been monitoring their activity over the last few weeks. And how, the attacks always seemed to take place at night. Her eyes grew wide when I said that they were not our responsibility. Then they focused on the names. I could almost hear her saying each one, memorizing them, as if they would never spoken again. But it was right to show her. To tell her. Not everyone was like us, not everyone preserved human life.

“It won’t be the same for me,” She whispered. I wasn’t sure if that was mean for me to hear, but it did not go unnoticed to my ears. “Well live in Antarctica.” She said a little louder. The idea of the food source in Antarctica was not an amusing one.

“Penguins.” I snorted. “Lovely.” I had had my fair share of penguins. They had a horrible after taste. So bad that once you tried it you would refrain from them ever again - that is, unless you were undeniably thirsty, as I had once been.

“Alaska, then, as planned.” She smiled. “Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau – somewhere with grizzlies galore.”
“Better” I smirked. “The wolves get large.” I added playfully. But immediately regretted it when she her breathing became irregular.
“Oh.” I said as the realization of her sudden sharp intake of breath became clear. “Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you.” The memory that her friend was a wolf had escaped me for a brief moment.
“He was my best friend, Edward.” She whispered. “Of course that idea is offensive to me.”
I still failed to regain my composure when I answered. “Please forgive my thoughtlessness. I shouldn’t have suggested that.” Thought if I had my chance, I wouldn’t be so kind to her former best friend. I tried to force myself to relax. I focused on today, this moment. The time that I have now with Bella. That is what mattered. When my face had melted away all signs of anger, I tucked my finger under her chin and guided her face towards mine.
“Sorry, really.” My apology was sincere. I hated to see her upset. And for me to be the cause of her unhappiness was unbearable.
She told me about the letter she had received from Jacob. By her voice, the mongrel was having a hard time and she blamed herself. I tried to convince her that nothing she had done had justified this. But then her conversation took a different approach, one that I was relatively ready for.

“You know that’s out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want to start a war?” My voice had turned hard once more. It was her friend, yes. But he was also a dangerous, unreliable, unstable dog. I couldn’t seem to get her to realize the danger that he presented. If anything were to happen to her, I would never forgive myself. I had already come too close to loosing her. It would not happen again.

“Of course not!” She whispered. If it were not for Charlie in the adjacent room, I am sure she would have yelled.
“Then there’s really no point in discussing the matter further.” I said, dismissing the subject. My voice was rather smug, and I’m sure she noticed.

My eyes drifted around the little kitchen until they locked on her battered Wuthering Heights. I tried to turn the conversation to my loathing of Heathcliff. It was successful. It was entertaining how avidly she defended the characters. I myself didn’t think they were worthy of reading. But then she brought up an intriguing claim when I inquired the reasons to why she reads this book.
“I think it’s something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart – not her selfishness or his evil, or even death, in the end...”
Her explanation made me ponder for a moment. That was exactly the way I felt about her. The way she described it was like she were picking the words directly from my head. Nothing could ever keep me apart from her. Not my selfishness, nor my evil. And not even death. I would follow her until the end. Even if she were to stop loving me, I would follow. And when death arose, it would be no obstacle. Because, to not have her exist would be like having night without day. There would be no point.

“I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality.” I smirked. But she disagreed.
“Their love is their only redeeming quality.” She argued. In the end, I decided to let her win. Arguing was a waste of time. Though, I loved when her cheeks would flush that vibrant red whenever she was angry or embarrassed.
I was silent for a moment. Charlie’s game seemed to be going well. I did not need to hear his thoughts to be able to decipher the meaning behind his random outbursts of joy.

She placed her hand over mine and held it to her face. The warmth was calming. Almost like warm bathwater, not too hot. A perfect temperature.
“I need to see Jacob.” She said suddenly.
I closed my eyes. Fighting hard against the anger that his name caused.  “No.” My tone was hard and flat.
She tried to reason with me. To tell me that LaPush was safe. That Werewolves were safe. I scoffed inwardly at the idea. Her heart picked up in tempo when she had stated that nothing had ever happened in LaPush before. The lie was as plain in her heartbeat as if she had told me herself. I nodded my head to show her that it did not go unnoticed. I knew my next point would have her scrambling for a rebuttal.

“Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed.” My eyes scrutinized her face. Her eyes tightened as if she were remembering something.
“You don’t know them” She whispered, defeated. By her voice, I could tell she knew my claims were valid.
“I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here last time.”
“The last time?” she questioned.
I told her about the encounter that I had crossed paths with the wolves. They outnumbered us and Carlisle convinced Ephraim Black that a symbiotic relationship was attainable. And that is when the truce was formed. I playfully joked around about her being the ones to bring the werewolves back into motion.
“But I didn’t bring them back. Don’t you know?” She seemed very sure of what she was saying, it pressed me to ask more.
“Know what?” My voice was curious.
“The wolves came back because the vampires did.”
I sat very still, perhaps too still, in the enlightenment of this new idea. She maintained to tell me that every time we were her, the werewolves would appear. It was a very debatable and compelling thought.

“Carlisle would be interested in that theory.” I said.
“Theory!” She challenged.
But it seemed right. There were no more than four wolves at the time and now their numbers had grown, immensely so. And the times when we were absent from Forks, we had no way of telling if they were there or not. Let alone the expanse of their pack.

After a moment, I spoke. “Interesting. But not exactly relevant. The situation remains the same.” My voice was somewhat distant, but I managed to pull it back.
There was no way she was going to see the wolves- even thinking their name sends a ripple of hatred through my body. Much too dangerous, weather she is accompanied or not.
One wrong thing said, one action out of place could result in them loosing their temper.

I opened my arms for her when she rose from her seat, and she sat lightly in my lap. Her hair brushed against my face, intoxicating the air with its sweet fragrance. Never once did she meet my eyes when she spoke.
“Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain. I can’t not try and help him. Just because he’s not human all the time.” She paused for a fraction of a second, though it seemed much longer. “Well, he was there for me when I was...not so human myself. You don’t know what it was like...” She broke off, her eyes still locked intently on my hands.

Her words tore through me, like a red hot iron piercing through my chest. She was right, I couldn’t imagine what it was like. All the pain that had been my doing. I closed my eyes, not deserving of this creature that was so gracefully placed before me. This beautiful, fragile, dream of a person that took me back without question. All those nights that she had cried, and I was not the one to comfort her. The times when she was in pain and I couldn’t offer any words of healing. I felt such a strong hatred toward myself. So much disgust, it was unbearable. Then, to remember the return of her face, her voice, her smile. To hear her laugh again. It was truly the best gift in the world. But, one that was wrongfully administered. She didn’t hold me accountable, but I did. I would never be able to take back those torturous months that I had been away from her.

“I’ll never forgive myself for leaving you. Not if I live a hundred thousand years.” I whispered. I tried to suppress the agony in my voice. I knew she would blame my distress on herself. Her hands were pressed lightly against my face. I inhaled deeply before reopening my eyes, breathing in her paralyzing aroma.
“You were just trying to do the right thing. And I’m sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you’re here now. That’s the part that matters.” Her attempt to placate me was in vain.
“If I’d never left, you wouldn’t feel the need to go risk your life for some dog.” I sneered the last word. It was true. It was my doing that this relationship had occurred. It was my fault that she was now friends with a very unstable werewolf that at any given moment could end her life.

“I don’t know how to phrase this properly. It’s going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I’ve come too close to loosing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous.”
“You have to trust me on this. I’ll be fine.”
“Please, Bella” I whispered, almost begged. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her. It was that they were untrustworthy. It didn’t matter what she did or said, they could still bring harm to her. And that, I would not allow.
“Please, what?” She demanded. Her breathtaking chocolate brown eyes stared questioningly into mine.
“Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I’ll do every thing I can, but I would appreciate a little help.”
“I’ll work on it” she grumbled. At that moment, I could tell this would not be an easy task.
“Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?” I instinctively pulled her closer to me. Sometimes, it seemed impossible that she could know the vastness of my love for her.
“I know how much I love you.” She mumbled, her lips against my neck.
“You compare one small tree to the entire forest.”
“Impossible”
I kissed the top of her head. Once again inhaling the tantalizing scent.
“No werewolves” I finalized.
“I’m not going along with that. I have to see Jacob.”
“Then I’ll have to stop you.” I said with a smug tone. My lips curved tightly into a mischievous grin.
“Well see about that. He’s still my friend.” She said.
I began to say something, but decided against it, and let it go. It would be better to have her believe she had won. There would be no werewolves. No Jacob. No LaPush. Of that I was certain. And for now, here she was nestled in my arms, safe and sound.

Description
This Eclipse in Edwards POV. All of Chapter 1 to be exact.

Chapter 1: Time

Charlie’s thoughts began to become clearer as I swerved around the corner and onto their street. They were discussing colleges again. It seemed as though Bella had received another acceptance letter. Many times I had told her that it would be no inconvenience for me to pay her tuition. And that we had time to wait. But no matter how many times I asked, almost begged, she would not give in. Her mind was wrapped around the date after graduation.

As I knocked on the front door Charlie grumbled unhappily to himself. His mind an open book.
Great. He’s here. He thought. Keep it cool, though. You don’t want to upset Bella.
Even though his thoughts towards me were on the lighter side these last couple of weeks, there was no mistaking his hostility. But I did not complain. In a way, I welcomed it. Because Bella would never have the heart to yell at me for leaving her. My mind struggled to grasp the concept of how this beautiful, selfless creature could possibly love me. A monster. And as much as I was elated to have her back safely in my arms, it pained me at how easily she had forgiven me. I was not deserving of that. I have never been. However, I could see it in her eyes how deep she hurt - though she would never speak it. I tried not to leave her as much as possible. Tearing myself away from her to hunt only when it was vitally necessary. Especially those first few months of my return. - No, it was completely inappropriate to simply call it a ‘return’. The more proper and fitting title would be rescue.

I could hear her stumbling towards the door. Her heart beating rapidly in her chest and her breathing accelerating. And even though her thoughts were blind to me, the beat of her heart and the blush on her cheek always gave her away.
“Hey” she said, trying to regain her breath.  I brushed her newly flourished cheek softly with our intertwined hands. It always surprised me how warm and soft she was. “How was your afternoon?”
“Slow”
“For me as well.”
I could not resist any longer. Closing my eyes, I carefully glided my nose against her wrist. It was no longer a dangerous act. Her skin, the sweetest of aromas, was now only a trickle in the back of my throat. Enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine, as I had once explained to her.

What are they doing in there? Charlie’s annoyed voice rang loudly in my ears. His stomping followed hastily after and I quickly let our hands fall limp to the side. But never let go it go, keeping it tightly secured in mine. My thumb brushed the back of her hand reassuringly.  Though I knew it bothered Charlie to bare witness to the even slightest bit of affection that I showed.

This is unnecessary. Does she really need to see this boy twenty four-seven? He doesn’t deserve her.

His religious greeting of unwelcomeness was nothing new and I answered with the utmost politeness. His attitude toward me was completely justifiable, and I knew it. Though Bella vehemently disagreed. Charlie stood against the wall for a moment, eyeing us suspiciously.

In my free hand I carried a manila envelope filled with college applications. College meant nothing to me; I had been more than my fair share. Having PhDs in useless courses such as paleontology. Her face grew wary as I held up the envelope. I knew exactly what was running through her mind; I could see it in her eyes, read it on her face. Her desires were at the top of my priority list, as they always were and always will be.

We walked over to the little kitchen and I sat down in the chair that was Charlie’s.

Thinks he can sit in my chair. Ha. I’ll show him. He’s probably not even going to college. Probably didn’t get accepted.

I couldn’t help but smile a little at his accusations. Bella looked at me with a slightly perplexed expression but I just nodded and she let it go.

“Where have you been accepted?” If you have been accepted.
“Syracuse...Harvard...Dartmouth...and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today.” I explained, keeping my voice casual.
Liar he accused. I could feel his disbelieving eyes as I opened the envelope.
Before he had a chance to ask any more questions, Bella immediately tried to alleviate the tension.

“Guess what, Edward?”  He voice was light and playful. It was so very hard not to smile whenever she was like this.
“What, Bella.” I replied, playing along.
She pointed directly at the acceptance letter on the table that Charlie and she had been discussing before my arrival.
“Congratulations.” I smiled. “What a coincidence.”

Coincidence? Ha! Charlie thought. That’s no coincidence. I bet he-

I tried to drown out his accusations. It did not deem polite to trespass his thoughts.
I had already heard more than I should. And sometimes, I adamantly wished I could rid myself of this talent permanently. My hand scribbled aimlessly across the applications; almost all of them shared the same questions, and did not call from much attention on my part. But suddenly, something had grasped my attention. I abandoned my work and jerked my head to face Charlie.

“Bella is no longer grounded?” I asked.
This thought had evaded me. I could now spend more time with Bella outside the confines of her home. However, I didn’t mind the location to which we shared our time. Time didn’t matter. Nothing mattered when she was with me.
“What’s it to you?” Charlie grumbled.
“It’s just nice to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I’m sure Bella would love to see some city lights.” I said casually.
Out of the corner of my eye Bella grimaced. I knew she wasn’t too fond of shopping; especially when Alice took the term “shop till you drop” quite literally. But in the morning news, they spoke of a new danger that haunted the town of Seattle. I would need someone to watch over Bella on those rare occasions when I would be temporarily away.

“No!” Charlie barked. His eyes were brooding as they flickered from Bella to me and back again.

Anywhere but Seattle. Anywhere but Seattle. Charlie chanted in his head.

“Dad! What’s the problem?” She seemed embarrassed by her father’s sharp reaction.
“I don’t want you going to Seattle right now.” He finalized.
“No, that’s fine.” I said. “I didn’t mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn’t have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not.”  Both Bella and he seemed slightly taken aback by my concurrence.

Didn’t give up much of a fight. He’s a wuss then, isn’t he. Shoulda figured as much.

Then he shrugged and walked away to entertain himself by the television.

I would never intentionally place her in danger that way, even if Alice were to be with her.
It was still a mystery to the local officials about who was behind these gruesome attacks. Their theories seemed to be linked to gangs. We, however, had theories of our own. But until we could learn more, it would be safe to avoid Seattle altogether.

“Bella?” I said. I turned my head towards her when she let out a snort of repulsion.
“Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?” She sneered the last words. It always confused me when she would get upset about the colleges I had chosen for her. Despite what she thought, I believed her to be very bright and highly eligible for any Ivy League. But I decided to humor her. “I think you’d like New Hampshire. There’s a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife.” I flashed my smile. She didn’t seem amused. In the end, I was the one who completed the paperwork. I signed her name to perfection.

“You’re going way overboard with this, you know.” She said suddenly. I looked at her from beneath my eyelashes, my head still down. “I really don’t need to apply anywhere else. I’ve been accepted to Alaska. I can almost afford the fist semester’s tuition. It’s as good an alibi as any. There’s no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is.”
I lifted my head so that my eyes were level with hers. It didn’t settle well it me when she mentioned paying for it herself. But another emotion overtook the previous. I felt a strange impulse to get on my knees and beg her to rethink. Beg her to attend college for just one year. Caught up in my thoughts, I only attained the last bit of what she had said.

“I thought the timing was still undecided,” I mumbled. Indeed the timing was still undecided. Yes, I was aware of the deal with Carlisle, one that I was utterly upset over. But maybe I could convince her otherwise of her decision until then. “You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you’ve never had.” Many times I have used the excuse of her not getting the chance to take part in “human experiences”, that she had grown tired of my attempts at postponement.
“I’ll get to those afterward.” She said, slightly annoyed.
“They won’t be human experiences afterward. You don’t get a second chance at humanity, Bella.” If there were ever a second chance, I would take it. I would snatch it up if it meat I would be able to save her from this hideous fate. In a heartbeat, I would become human for her.

She continued to state her argument, insisting that we were in constant danger. But no danger would ever befall her. Nothing would ever touch her. So badly did I want her to understand, but I could never explain in a way she could grasp. The Volturi would come, of that I was sure of. It would be quite a while when they were to pay us a visit, so they were not an immediate concern of mine. And was not it enough that the months were now only a few weeks until graduation? Until her heart would beat no longer?

My eyes ran carefully over her face, observing her twisted features. Was she sharing my last thoughts? It irritated me periodically when her thoughts were a mystery. She looked at me when she realized my eyes were on her.

“Bella, there’s no hurry. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need.” It was no inconvenience to me weather it was later rather than now. Actually, I would rather it be later. But human or not, I would always love her.
“I want to hurry” she whispered. Her eyes gazing mesmerizing into mine, and a slight smirk on her face. “I want to be a monster, too.”
Monster. It was plain that she was only joking, trying to alleviate the tension as she always does. And the term was quite suitable for what we are, but for her to wish this upon herself.
Is that what she wants to become? Is that her final request in life. To become a monster? Would she like to be the type of monsters that were wreaking havoc in Seattle?
My teeth clenched so hard against each other that they would probably break if they could.
“You have no idea what you’re saying.” I stabbed my finger at the headline of today’s newspaper.

                                 DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE,
                                     POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY

“What does this have to do with anything?” she whispered, afraid to say anything more that might upset me.
“Monsters are no joke, Bella.” I was still speaking through clenched teeth. I could almost hear the click in her brain as she put two and two together.
“A...a vampire did this?” She seemed as though this were not a tangible concept.
I smiled curtly and nodded my head once.
”You’d be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news.” My voice twisted at the word human. “It’s easy to recognize when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were.” Her eyes were full of regret before they moved back down to the paper again. I continued to explain to her that Carlisle and I have been monitoring their activity over the last few weeks. And how, the attacks always seemed to take place at night. Her eyes grew wide when I said that they were not our responsibility. Then they focused on the names. I could almost hear her saying each one, memorizing them, as if they would never spoken again. But it was right to show her. To tell her. Not everyone was like us, not everyone preserved human life.

“It won’t be the same for me,” She whispered. I wasn’t sure if that was mean for me to hear, but it did not go unnoticed to my ears. “Well live in Antarctica.” She said a little louder. The idea of the food source in Antarctica was not an amusing one.

“Penguins.” I snorted. “Lovely.” I had had my fair share of penguins. They had a horrible after taste. So bad that once you tried it you would refrain from them ever again - that is, unless you were undeniably thirsty, as I had once been.

“Alaska, then, as planned.” She smiled. “Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau – somewhere with grizzlies galore.”
“Better” I smirked. “The wolves get large.” I added playfully. But immediately regretted it when she her breathing became irregular.
“Oh.” I said as the realization of her sudden sharp intake of breath became clear. “Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you.” The memory that her friend was a wolf had escaped me for a brief moment.
“He was my best friend, Edward.” She whispered. “Of course that idea is offensive to me.”
I still failed to regain my composure when I answered. “Please forgive my thoughtlessness. I shouldn’t have suggested that.” Thought if I had my chance, I wouldn’t be so kind to her former best friend. I tried to force myself to relax. I focused on today, this moment. The time that I have now with Bella. That is what mattered. When my face had melted away all signs of anger, I tucked my finger under her chin and guided her face towards mine.
“Sorry, really.” My apology was sincere. I hated to see her upset. And for me to be the cause of her unhappiness was unbearable.
She told me about the letter she had received from Jacob. By her voice, the mongrel was having a hard time and she blamed herself. I tried to convince her that nothing she had done had justified this. But then her conversation took a different approach, one that I was relatively ready for.

“You know that’s out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want to start a war?” My voice had turned hard once more. It was her friend, yes. But he was also a dangerous, unreliable, unstable dog. I couldn’t seem to get her to realize the danger that he presented. If anything were to happen to her, I would never forgive myself. I had already come too close to loosing her. It would not happen again.

“Of course not!” She whispered. If it were not for Charlie in the adjacent room, I am sure she would have yelled.
“Then there’s really no point in discussing the matter further.” I said, dismissing the subject. My voice was rather smug, and I’m sure she noticed.

My eyes drifted around the little kitchen until they locked on her battered Wuthering Heights. I tried to turn the conversation to my loathing of Heathcliff. It was successful. It was entertaining how avidly she defended the characters. I myself didn’t think they were worthy of reading. But then she brought up an intriguing claim when I inquired the reasons to why she reads this book.
“I think it’s something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart – not her selfishness or his evil, or even death, in the end...”
Her explanation made me ponder for a moment. That was exactly the way I felt about her. The way she described it was like she were picking the words directly from my head. Nothing could ever keep me apart from her. Not my selfishness, nor my evil. And not even death. I would follow her until the end. Even if she were to stop loving me, I would follow. And when death arose, it would be no obstacle. Because, to not have her exist would be like having night without day. There would be no point.

“I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality.” I smirked. But she disagreed.
“Their love is their only redeeming quality.” She argued. In the end, I decided to let her win. Arguing was a waste of time. Though, I loved when her cheeks would flush that vibrant red whenever she was angry or embarrassed.
I was silent for a moment. Charlie’s game seemed to be going well. I did not need to hear his thoughts to be able to decipher the meaning behind his random outbursts of joy.

She placed her hand over mine and held it to her face. The warmth was calming. Almost like warm bathwater, not too hot. A perfect temperature.
“I need to see Jacob.” She said suddenly.
I closed my eyes. Fighting hard against the anger that his name caused.  “No.” My tone was hard and flat.
She tried to reason with me. To tell me that LaPush was safe. That Werewolves were safe. I scoffed inwardly at the idea. Her heart picked up in tempo when she had stated that nothing had ever happened in LaPush before. The lie was as plain in her heartbeat as if she had told me herself. I nodded my head to show her that it did not go unnoticed. I knew my next point would have her scrambling for a rebuttal.

“Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed.” My eyes scrutinized her face. Her eyes tightened as if she were remembering something.
“You don’t know them” She whispered, defeated. By her voice, I could tell she knew my claims were valid.
“I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here last time.”
“The last time?” she questioned.
I told her about the encounter that I had crossed paths with the wolves. They outnumbered us and Carlisle convinced Ephraim Black that a symbiotic relationship was attainable. And that is when the truce was formed. I playfully joked around about her being the ones to bring the werewolves back into motion.
“But I didn’t bring them back. Don’t you know?” She seemed very sure of what she was saying, it pressed me to ask more.
“Know what?” My voice was curious.
“The wolves came back because the vampires did.”
I sat very still, perhaps too still, in the enlightenment of this new idea. She maintained to tell me that every time we were her, the werewolves would appear. It was a very debatable and compelling thought.

“Carlisle would be interested in that theory.” I said.
“Theory!” She challenged.
But it seemed right. There were no more than four wolves at the time and now their numbers had grown, immensely so. And the times when we were absent from Forks, we had no way of telling if they were there or not. Let alone the expanse of their pack.

After a moment, I spoke. “Interesting. But not exactly relevant. The situation remains the same.” My voice was somewhat distant, but I managed to pull it back.
There was no way she was going to see the wolves- even thinking their name sends a ripple of hatred through my body. Much too dangerous, weather she is accompanied or not.
One wrong thing said, one action out of place could result in them loosing their temper.

I opened my arms for her when she rose from her seat, and she sat lightly in my lap. Her hair brushed against my face, intoxicating the air with its sweet fragrance. Never once did she meet my eyes when she spoke.
“Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain. I can’t not try and help him. Just because he’s not human all the time.” She paused for a fraction of a second, though it seemed much longer. “Well, he was there for me when I was...not so human myself. You don’t know what it was like...” She broke off, her eyes still locked intently on my hands.

Her words tore through me, like a red hot iron piercing through my chest. She was right, I couldn’t imagine what it was like. All the pain that had been my doing. I closed my eyes, not deserving of this creature that was so gracefully placed before me. This beautiful, fragile, dream of a person that took me back without question. All those nights that she had cried, and I was not the one to comfort her. The times when she was in pain and I couldn’t offer any words of healing. I felt such a strong hatred toward myself. So much disgust, it was unbearable. Then, to remember the return of her face, her voice, her smile. To hear her laugh again. It was truly the best gift in the world. But, one that was wrongfully administered. She didn’t hold me accountable, but I did. I would never be able to take back those torturous months that I had been away from her.

“I’ll never forgive myself for leaving you. Not if I live a hundred thousand years.” I whispered. I tried to suppress the agony in my voice. I knew she would blame my distress on herself. Her hands were pressed lightly against my face. I inhaled deeply before reopening my eyes, breathing in her paralyzing aroma.
“You were just trying to do the right thing. And I’m sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you’re here now. That’s the part that matters.” Her attempt to placate me was in vain.
“If I’d never left, you wouldn’t feel the need to go risk your life for some dog.” I sneered the last word. It was true. It was my doing that this relationship had occurred. It was my fault that she was now friends with a very unstable werewolf that at any given moment could end her life.

“I don’t know how to phrase this properly. It’s going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I’ve come too close to loosing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous.”
“You have to trust me on this. I’ll be fine.”
“Please, Bella” I whispered, almost begged. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her. It was that they were untrustworthy. It didn’t matter what she did or said, they could still bring harm to her. And that, I would not allow.
“Please, what?” She demanded. Her breathtaking chocolate brown eyes stared questioningly into mine.
“Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I’ll do every thing I can, but I would appreciate a little help.”
“I’ll work on it” she grumbled. At that moment, I could tell this would not be an easy task.
“Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?” I instinctively pulled her closer to me. Sometimes, it seemed impossible that she could know the vastness of my love for her.
“I know how much I love you.” She mumbled, her lips against my neck.
“You compare one small tree to the entire forest.”
“Impossible”
I kissed the top of her head. Once again inhaling the tantalizing scent.
“No werewolves” I finalized.
“I’m not going along with that. I have to see Jacob.”
“Then I’ll have to stop you.” I said with a smug tone. My lips curved tightly into a mischievous grin.
“Well see about that. He’s still my friend.” She said.
I began to say something, but decided against it, and let it go. It would be better to have her believe she had won. There would be no werewolves. No Jacob. No LaPush. Of that I was certain. And for now, here she was nestled in my arms, safe and sound.