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zeroice013 — Two Sides
Published: 2015-03-27 00:55:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 2020; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Two Sides...PAGE 1 (FIVEPANELS)
We don’t see this in the first few panels, but this is inside a cheap motel room at night. We
get the full view in panel 5. Want some real moody lighting and shadows for this page,
maybe with everything tinted in red to go with the talk of vengeance. Then panel 5 will
show a neon sign outside the window, which is where the light is coming from.
PAGE 1, Panel 1.
Medium to close on a table. Need most of the top but don’t need to see the legs or any
details of the person sitting at it. Enough room to show a few different items on it. I’m
thinking round wood. On the table we have a pistol, 9mm or .45 semi-auto. Something
common. Also an open box of bullets, partly empty and a few stray ones loose on the table.
The final thing we need to see is two photos--one smaller and creased, the other a glossy
8x10. Don’t need to see details on these yet, just need to be there.
CAPTION 1:
Revenge.
CAPTION 2:
There's so many clichés about it.
PAGE 1, Panel 2.
Close on a hand loading rounds into a magazine. Left hand holding it, right hand loading.
Might be cool as a POV, looking down through Don’s eyes.
CAPTION 3:
But best served cold? I don't think so.
PAGE 1, Panel 3.
Close on the smaller picture. It’s a happy, smiling family, taken on some wonderful
vacation. DON in the center, a beautiful wife on his left and cute young daughter on his right.
The picture is worn with a sharp crease running vertically through Don, cutting him in half.
CAPTION 4:
I would have rather taken out these bastards the night they killed my family.
PAGE1, Panel 4.
Close on the larger picture. Black and white, looks like it was taken with a telephoto lens and
the subjects didn’t know they were being filmed. The main focus is JACKIE getting out of a
car. Some other guys standing around, smoking, looking in various directions.
CAPTION 5:
How’s that for a cliché? Mobsters take out cop’s family. Sure you’ve seen that movie
before.
PAGE 1, Panel 5.
Wide shot, page width. Don sitting at the table, holding the gun up in his right hand. Has just
inserted the magazine and still has the palm of his left hand pushing on the bottom. Real cold,
hard look on his face--he’s ready to kill. His back is to the window and outside the window
we can see some of the neon “HOTEL”sign. Something like this :
www.shutterstock.com/pic-27232…
CAPTION 6:
Difference is, I don’t know if this one’ll have the happy ending.
PAGE 2 (FOUR PANELS)
PAGE 2, Panel 1.
Dark night, city street. A car (something stereo-typically manly, maybe a classic muscle car)
parked on the side of the road, mostly in the shadows between street lights. Can see the
silhouette of Don through the front window. For orientation, the car is facing towards the
building he’s about to enter even though we don’t see that building here.
CAPTION 1:
I was a crappy father.
CAPTION 2:
And a crappy husband.
CAPTION 3:
I never had time for them. Work was always more important.
PAGE 2, Panel 2.
Inside the car. View from behind Don. He’s holding up and looking at the picture of his
family in his left hand. Gun held loosely in his right, resting on his upper leg. The building is
down the road and across the street. Realistically it would be visible through the windshield,
and if there’s space for it I’d like to show two mobster goons smoking out in front of the
door, but if there’s not enough room or it takes away from the rest of what’s important in the
panel, then leave it out. Artist’s discretion on this one.
CAPTION 4:
This picture is one of the few happy ones we had. I neglected everything that mattered until
it was too late.
PAGE 2, Panel 3.
Higher up wider exterior view. The car’s tires screeching and smoking as Don steps on the
gas. The two goons smoking outside the building turned to look in its direction.
CAPTION 5:
I spent the past two years thinking about all the things I should have done with them. I
should have done so much more.
PAGE2, Panel 4.
The car crashed into the doorway of the building, both goons pinned between the wall and
that car. Goon on the right slumped over the hood. Goon on the left (driver’s side of the car)
reaching into his jacket with a gun partly pulled out. Front of the car smashed and smoking.
Door of the building falling off (probably inwards) and door frame and bricks around it
shattered. The driver door of the car open slightly and Don starting to step out.
CAPTION 6:
Sunday drives through the mountains.
PAGE 3 (THREE PANELS)
PAGE3, Panel 1.
The car door fully open, Don standing behind it, gun in his right hand. Arm extended over
the top of the door and shooting the goon who was reaching for his gun in the head. Don is
completely calm and expressionless. Left arm hanging casually down at his side.
The goon’s gun falling from his hand.
CAPTION 1:
Apple picking.
PAGE 3, Panel 2.
Pretty basic room. Low lighting. Maybe a table in the center with some beer bottles and
cards spread on it where these two goons just stood up from. A straight staircase with a low
wood railing going up on the right side.
View from behind Don, just through the door into the building. Arm still out in front firing
the gun. Two more goons falling under his fire.
CAPTION 2:
Carnivals.
CAPTION 3:
Picnics.
PAGE 3, Panel 3.
Probably a tall panel. Don near the bottom of the stairs but a few up. Still shooting in his
emotionless Terminator mode. Another goon at the top of the stairs taking a bullet to the
chest and falling over the railing.
CAPTION 4:
Moonlight walks on the beach.
PAGE4 (TWO PANELS)
The next two pages should both be split vertically. Page 4, Panel 2 and Page 5, Panel 1 will
be almost mirror images of each other and when the pages are together the characters will be
face to face.
PAGE 4, Panel 1.
Front view on Don. He’s in a hallway with his back pressed to the wall just before an open
door. Both hands on the gun held up in a ready position (barrel to the ceiling), prepared to
spin through into the next room and start shooting. Not enough of the doorway visible for us
to see into the next room and what’s on the other side.
CAPTION 1:
But I know it’s too late for all that.
CAPTION 2:
I know this won’t bring them back.
PAGE 4, Panel 2.
Straight on view from Don’s right side. Don in front of the doorway, arms extended with the
gun ahead of him pointing into the next room. Still can’t see what’s on the other side.
CAPTION 3:
But it’ll make me feel better. I will have my revenge.
PAGE 5 (TWO PANELS)
PAGE 5, Panel 1.
Now we’re on the other side of the doorway. Angle and position should be a mirror image of
last panel. Straight on view of Jackie and Tony from the left side. Jackie closer to the
foreground (and he should always be closer to the FG in every panel he’s in). Both have
guns aimed towards the open doorway.
CAPTION 1:
And nothing’s going to st--
PAGE 5, Panel 2.
Angled from behind Jackie and Tony looking through the doorway. Both firing at Don. Don
falling backwards as a hail of bullets tear through him.
PAGE 6 (THREE PANELS)
PAGE 6, Panel 1.
Jackie kneeling over Don’s body, looking at his face. Tony still has his gun aimed at Don.
TONY:
Holy crap! What was that all about?
PAGE 6, Panel 2.
Close on Don’s blood spattered face. First expression we’ve seen on him--shock. His mouth
slightly open and eyes wide.
TONY:
Who the hell is this guy? Tore through here like the frigging Terminator.
PAGE 6, Panel 3.
Jackie rubbing his forehead, eyes squeezed shut.
JACKIE:
No clue. Never seen him before.
(beat)
Man, what a night.
PAGE 7 (FOUR PANELS)
PAGE 7, Panel 1.
Jackie and Tony at the top of the stairs, looking down at the carnage and dead bodies below.
Angled behind Jackie and seeing what he’s seeing.
TONY:
What a mess.
(beat)
Bet you’re wishing you had stuck to teaching, huh Jackie?
JACKIE:
Nah, I think I got shot at more often at the school.
PAGE 7, Panel 2.
Jackie taking a hit from an inhaler. Tony now rubbing his head, similar to what Jackie did
before. Any angle and distance, as long as Jackie is in the foreground.
TONY:
Damn. Erik’s boy just turned two, went to his party last week. Now I gotta go and tell him
his daddy got whacked.
PAGE 7, Panel 3.
Jackie holding a cell phone in one hand, the other reaching toward it to start dialing. Looking
towards Tony, who has his hand on Jackie’s shoulder.
JACKIE:
Better call in some guys, start getting this cleaned up.
TONY:
No, no, you get out of here. Go home and see your kid.
JACKIE:
You sure? We have a lot to deal with here.
TONY:
Yeah, go on. Kiss that kid good night while she still lets you.
PAGE 7, Panel 4.
Small parking lot behind the building. Jackie standing next to the open front door of a minivan.
One of the bigger, handicapped accessible style. Phone held to his ear.
Lettering note: I want to show that he's getting interrupted at each line.
JACKIE:
Hey, honey. She still awake? Yeah, rough day, but I’m on my way home.
Can I--
I just want to--
Come on, let’s not get into this now. I’m on my way home.
PAGE 8 (FIVE PANELS)
PAGE 8, Panel 1.
Jackie’s living room. We’re looking from where the TV would be straight at THERESA, who
is sitting on the couch watching TV. Holding an almost empty glass of wine. Phone on the
couch next to her. In the background Jackie is stepping in through the front door behind her.
THERESA:
So, rough day, huh? How many people did you whack today?
JACKIE:
I don’t “whack” anyone.
THERESA:
Yeah, that’s right. You just kill them. My sweet little English teacher, always so big on his
semantics.
PAGE 8, Panel 2.
Jackie looking down at a pile of shopping bags next to the door. Gesturing to them, agitated.
JACKIE:
You obviously don’t have any problems with what I do when you're out spending money.
THERESA (OP):
It helps me forget what you’ve become.
JACKIE:
What I’ve become? You think I enjoy this? How about what I do for you, and for Em.
PAGE 8, Panel 3.
Jackie standing in front of a bedroom door. Hand-made sign (something a kid would make)
says “Emma’s Room”. Hand on the door about to push it open, head turned back still
talking to Theresa.
JACKIE:
If Jimmy didn't give me this chance, where would we be now? Or better, where would Emma
be? Think about that.
PAGE 8, Panel 4.
Inside Emma’s room. Pink and princessy. Emma asleep on a big bed covered in thick
blankets. Large pieces of hospital equipment hooked up to her. Jackie kneeling next to the
bed holding her hand.
JACKIE
Hey, kiddo. Was hoping to catch you before you conked out, but maybe this is better.
JACKIE:
One day I might not be around. And your mom, she might not have very nice things to say
about me. She might even be right.
JACKIE:
I've done lots of bad things in my life. I've hurt a lot of people. But I need you to know,
everything I ever did, I did for you.
PAGE 8, Panel 5.
Emma now sitting up slightly, half asleep, looking at Jackie. Weak smile.
JACKIE:
Hey, sweetie. Didn’t mean to wake you. Sorry I was late. We’ll do something really fun
tomorrow to make it up to you.
EMMA:
Can we actually go out somewhere? Maybe a picnic? Apple picking?
JACKIE:
Yeah, kiddo, I think we can manage that. Anything you want, I’ll make it happen. Always.
